Contest-Solve bent steering box mystery

[Coolerman]

There is one thing, and one thing only, that can mangle a early steering column that way....

Sit right back, and hear a tale, a tale of a faithful trip...

One day, long ago in a small town in western Tennessee, Elvis, Micheal Jackson, and Johnny Cash decided to go out 4-wheeling in Johnny's Land Cruiser. They met up at Graceland in the morning to plan the late afternoon trip.

Since Johnny owned the Land Cruiser, he was put in charge of planning. He put Michael in charge of packing the cooler for lunch, Elvis was in charge of providing entertainment, and Johnny said he would be in charge of packing tools in case they broke down. After the meeting they all went home to pack.

Elvis being Elvis, thought, well I can sing for entertainment, so I don't need to pack anything. Michael will bring lunch, so since I don't have to remember anything, I'm going to get stoned and eat a brick of government cheese before we go and so he did...

Michael being Micheal, called his doc and got a shot of propofol to help ease the pain of possibly having to hear Elvis sing. After the rather large shot took effect, he went into the bedroom and started packing. He wasn't sure what the other two liked, so to help ease the anxiety of this decision making process, he decided to pop a few of his favorite calm me downs, and so he did...

Johnny being Johnny, thought, well... the Land Cruiser NEVER breaks down, and has it's own tool kit on board, so no need for more tools. That leaves time before we meet back up to have a glass of whiskey and maybe a few pick me up pills, and so he did...

That afternoon they all met back up at Graceland...

Johnny had the Cruiser gassed up and ready to go when Michael and Elvis showed up.
Johnny: "Elvis, where is the entertainment?"
Elvis: "I'm the entertainment and I have something in my pocket that will help everyone enjoy it!"

Johnny then saw the large cooler Michael was dragging.
Johnny: "Michael I see you have a packed cooler so throw it in the back and lets go!"
Michael: "Yeah it's got everything a man needs to... "
Johnny: "Shut up and throw it in the back..."

Johnny drove, Elvis rode shotgun and Michael was in the back with the cooler. They got on I-40 east (doing 80 of course) and left Graceland far behind. Elvis pulled his bag out of his pocket and rolled a huge joint loaded with a few other things for the road trip... Fast forward a couple of hours....

Michael: "Where are we?"
Johnny: "I...don't... know..."
Elvis: Were not in Kansas anymore...
Michael:"I need to go to the little boys room"
Johnny: "I see an exit to a dirt road ahead."
Michael: "But there won't be any little boys there..."
Elvis: "Can you eat Blue Suede? I'm hungry"
Johnny: "Putting it in 4 Lo, hang on!" (sound effects: grinding gears)

After another hour passed they reached a large clearing in the woods and decided to stop for lunch. Elvis was not feeling well (remember the cheese), so Johnny helped Michael get the cooler out of the back and lugged it into the center of the clearing.

Johnny: "Man! That cooler is heavy! What you got in there? Chitlins and gravy?"
Michael: "Food? You said to bring entertainment!"
Johnny: "No! I was to bring entertainment! You were to bring tools, and Elvis was to bring food. No, wait, that's not right.. Oh hell just show me what you brung..." (sound effects: creaking of hinges)
Johnny: "Oh my!!!!"
Michael: "All the batteries are fully charged... "
Johnny: "Son, you just ain't right..."
Elvis: "I need to take a dump..."

So after realizing that there was no food, and Elvis was in no mood to provide entertainment, Johnny left Michael playing with his toys and went over to Elvis.

Johnny: "Man are you alright?"
Elvis:" No! I have been squatting on this log for an hour trying to take a dump while you and Tinker Toy have been playing dress up! I'm hurting bad!" "Seems to be something stuck up there!"
Johnny: " Well lets take a look. Stand up, bend over and spread'em"
Elvis: "Yeah that's what Michael says..." (sound effects: use your imagination...)
Johnny: "Oh my!!!" "You been eating government cheese again? You're plugged up more than Richard Gere after a gerbil festival!"
Johnny: "I have just the tool to fix that. Let me go remove it from the truck" (sound effects: tools removing steering column)
Elvis: "Uh....Johnny, What are you going to do with that? "Why is it all black?"
Johnny: "I had to grease it up a bit. Don't you worry. I will have you unstuck in no time! Now hold still while I..."
Elvis: "Oh...! Oh my!!!"

and THAT is how the steering column got bent.... Have no idea how it got from Tennessee to California...

 

[gator25]

Man you have a helluva imagination @Coolerman , some of yall should be writing books lol.

 

[65swb45]

This is going so well I am going to add a tire patch kit to the prize.

There is one thing, and one thing only, that can mangle a early steering column that way....

Sit right back, and hear a tale, a tale of a faithful trip...

One day, long ago in a small town in western Tennessee, Elvis, Micheal Jackson, and Johnny Cash decided to go out 4-wheeling in Johnny's Land Cruiser. They met up at Graceland in the morning to plan the late afternoon trip.

Since Johnny owned the Land Cruiser, he was put in charge of planning. He put Michael in charge of packing the cooler for lunch, Elvis was in charge of providing entertainment, and Johnny said he would be in charge of packing tools in case they broke down. After the meeting they all went home to pack.

Elvis being Elvis, thought, well I can sing for entertainment, so I don't need to pack anything. Michael will bring lunch, so since I don't have to remember anything, I'm going to get stoned and eat a brick of government cheese before we go and so he did...

Michael being Micheal, called his doc and got a shot of propofol to help ease the pain of possibly having to hear Elvis sing. After the rather large shot took effect, he went into the bedroom and started packing. He wasn't sure what the other two liked, so to help ease the anxiety of this decision making process, he decided to pop a few of his favorite calm me downs, and so he did...

Johnny being Johnny, thought, well... the Land Cruiser NEVER breaks down, and has it's own tool kit on board, so no need for more tools. That leaves time before we meet back up to have a glass of whiskey and maybe a few pick me up pills, and so he did...

That afternoon they all met back up at Graceland...

Johnny had the Cruiser gassed up and ready to go when Michael and Elvis showed up.
Johnny: "Elvis, where is the entertainment?"
Elvis: "I'm the entertainment and I have something in my pocket that will help everyone enjoy it!"

Johnny then saw the large cooler Michael was dragging.
Johnny: "Michael I see you have a packed cooler so throw it in the back and lets go!"
Michael: "Yeah it's got everything a man needs to... "
Johnny: "Shut up and throw it in the back..."

Johnny drove, Elvis rode shotgun and Michael was in the back with the cooler. They got on I-40 east (doing 80 of course) and left Graceland far behind. Elvis pulled his bag out of his pocket and rolled a huge joint loaded with a few other things for the road trip... Fast forward a couple of hours....

Michael: "Where are we?"
Johnny: "I...don't... know..."
Elvis: Were not in Kansas anymore...
Michael:"I need to go to the little boys room"
Johnny: "I see an exit to a dirt road ahead."
Michael: "But there won't be any little boys there..."
Elvis: "Can you eat Blue Suede? I'm hungry"
Johnny: "Putting it in 4 Lo, hang on!" (sound effects: grinding gears)

After another hour passed they reached a large clearing in the woods and decided to stop for lunch. Elvis was not feeling well (remember the cheese), so Johnny helped Michael get the cooler out of the back and lugged it into the center of the clearing.

Johnny: "Man! That cooler is heavy! What you got in there? Chitlins and gravy?"
Michael: "Food? You said to bring entertainment!"
Johnny: "No! I was to bring entertainment! You were to bring tools, and Elvis was to bring food. No, wait, that's not right.. Oh hell just show me what you brung..." (sound effects: creaking of hinges)
Johnny: "Oh my!!!!"
Michael: "All the batteries are fully charged... "
Johnny: "Son, you just ain't right..."
Elvis: "I need to take a dump..."

So after realizing that there was no food, and Elvis was in no mood to provide entertainment, Johnny left Michael playing with his toys and went over to Elvis.

Johnny: "Man are you alright?"
Elvis:" No! I have been squatting on this log for an hour trying to take a dump while you and Tinker Toy have been playing dress up! I'm hurting bad!" "Seems to be something stuck up there!"
Johnny: " Well lets take a look. Stand up, bend over and spread'em"
Elvis: "Yeah that's what Michael says..." (sound effects: use your imagination...)
Johnny: "Oh my!!!" "You been eating government cheese again? You're plugged up more than Richard Gere after a gerbil festival!"
Johnny: "I have just the tool to fix that. Let me go remove it from the truck" (sound effects: tools removing steering column)
Elvis: "Uh....Johnny, What are you going to do with that? "Why is it all black?"
Johnny: "I had to grease it up a bit. Don't you worry. I will have you unstuck in no time! Now hold still while I..."
Elvis: "Oh...! Oh my!!!"

and THAT is how the steering column got bent.... Have no idea how it got from Tennessee to California...

Gives a whole new meaning to the term kinky!

 

[dunebeigefj40]

I remember the day clearly, I was standing next to a man and his son.
Little Billy and his Dad were at Moab watching some FJ40s coming down Lions Back trail, suddenly one loses it's drum brakes and bounces down the hill, destroying it's suspension and steering.
Little Billy looks up to his Dad and says, "Dad, when I grow up, I want to be an FJ40 driver."
His Dad looks down at him and says, "You can't do both, son."

 

[Downey]

I always thought the pecker woods on mud had way too much time on their hands, now I know it's true!!!!!

 

[Spike Strip]

CHAPTER 1

I was a dark and stormy night.

Pennis Leadfoot seemed like he was going to tear the steering wheel apart he was gripping it so hard. I heard the gas pedal thud as Pennis stomped the floor. The little FJ40 groaned loudly as it cut into the pouring rain.

"Yo, Pennis, we ain't gonna make it to Kokomo, you drivin' this way', I said. Pennis scowled, squinted out at the flapping ribbon of black.

"Fxxxing lousy wipers', he finally said, "defroster's broke. But she'll get us there, don't worry." Pennis leaned forward and rubbed the windshield with his forearm. "I've got the parts from Marksoffroad.net, but I haven't had time to even take 'em out of the box.... Thank God I got one of his carb's though..." Pennis snapped his head at me. It was the first time I had seen him smile in 3 days. Then he looked back at the road and the scowl slowly returned. He hissed through tight lips: "Vaginna's in big trouble... She needs me." He sat up erect in his seat and arched his sore back. "Thanks for comin'."

I nodded.

We drove on like that, Pennis and I, for another 20 miles. I had my seat belt pulled so tight I could no longer feel my feet; The little FJ40 bobbing around in the high wind like a toy boat in a kid's bathtub. There was a constant drip drip through the bad window seals and my right leg was soaked and cold.

SUDDENLY, screaming out from the dark forest of Yucca ---


(Stay tuned for CHAPTER II - Revenge of the ****).

 

[65swb45]

Spike, the plug's a nice touch, but isn't a requirement.

OTOH, the chapter thing is intriguing!

 

[Spike Strip]

Product placement.

Work was calling so had to scram.

Chapter II, tomorrow, I hope!

 

[DSRTRDR]

someone trying to drive up the price those who need/want an early unbent steering column ?

 

[TractorDoc]

If the previous owner had my kind of luck. . .

Perhaps the steering column was removed to be cleaned/inspected/etc. It was set in a convenient and flat area, possibly the tailgate of his pickup. This owner is easily side tracked and tries to do way more than he should with time available, so when the spouse called to say supper was ready and he better get home he hopped in the truck and headed that way -- completely forgetting about the steering column on the open tail gate. After a delicious meal (spouse is a very good cook) it occurs to him that he left that steering column on the tailgate. . . so he goes out to inspect the situation but sure enough its not there. He spends the next hour or two walking the road between the workshop and home in search of the lost column; usually a pleasant three mile walk but this happens to now be at night and during winter when it is 20 degrees out. At approximately the 3/4 point (it held on for a long way!) he found the poor steering column on the side of the road but it has been bent and mangled from its fall to the pavement and the likely hood that it was run over by an Amish buggy, 18 wheeler, plow truck, etc.

This actually happened last year but with my cell phone. . . so why not a steering column? Sad thing is the Mrs. called and I set the cell phone back down on the tailgate after talking with her; I cleaned up a bit/washed my hands but forgot to pick the phone back up before driving off.

 

[Coolerman]

OK then,

Chapter II The Aliens

After extracting the "brick of cheese", Johnny stood looking at the bent steering column with a look of disgust on his face. Somehow he had to either fix it or replace it. If it involved touching it again, well...

Johnny: "Michael! Put down that, whatever that thing is, and come help me straighten out this column! We have to get back before Jeopardy comes on!"
Michael: "No way man! I'm NOT touching that! I know where that thing has been!"
Elvis: (Groaning) "Yeah like that ever stopped you before!"
Michael: "You shut up Elvis! I'm never inviting you to a sleep over again!"

Johnny was furious with his friends. His pick me ups had worn off, and due to everyone forgetting what they were supposed to bring (including himself) he was out of whiskey. Worst of all, his truck could not be driven! Desperate times call for desperate measures, so he reached in his pocket for a mysterious device and walked from the clearing to the edge of the woods.

The device was given to the Man in Black by ......


the Men in Black! (He was owed a favor for reporting that Taylor Swift was actually an alien sex queen smuggling Fluffy Pink Unicorns into the USA for older men to prey on...)

The device was black, smooth, and felt a bit warm when held. It was a comm device and when flipped open would send a signal to an alien ship in high orbit. This ships sole purpose for being out there was to help whom ever signaled, no matter what they were asked to do. (well in reality it was a punishment for helping Taylor Swift smuggle but that's another story...)

He flipped it open, (sound effects: Star Trek communicator), pushed the red button, closed it back up, put it back in his pocket, and walked back to the clearing. It wouldn't take long...

In the meantime, Elvis had successfully manged to roll another huge joint. (Did I mention he got the weed from Willie? Tolby had warned him not to smoke weed from Willie again, but ...)

Elvis: "Johnny! Where ya been? Here try this, you're looking a bit peaked!"
Johnny: (taking a long toke and exhaling while wildly coughing...) "Mmmmm! That is smoooooth!" "I called for help, should be here soon." Save some for them, they don't get out much..."
Elvis: (Talking to himself) Holy Crap! I should have listened to Tolby!
Elvis: "Hey Johnny, uh, you seeing what I'm seeing? Cause if you ain't then I am in a serious state of wastedness! Up there in the sky! What is that? A bird? A plane?"
Johnny: "No, I see it too (though it did look a bit different than the last time he saw it) that's our way out of this mess"
Elvis: " Shoowee! That's a relief...Here Michael have some of... Oh damn! What's up with Michael? He's... He's.... Oh crap, not again! ...."

Johnny turned and saw that Michael was, well, different somehow. It could have been the weed, but it sure looked like he had hair growing out of every pore on his skinny ass body! Suddenly he jumped up and started dancing! Shaking his head, but finally understanding what had been wrong with Michael all along, Johnny walked over to the Cruiser, opened the rear door and got out his Noisy Cricket. (Look it up)

He turned around and saw that Michael was about to eat some girl. Where did SHE come from Johnny wondered as he aimed and pulled the trigger on the Noisy Cricket. Well no matter. Now she and Michael were just another blob of alien goo .... Now back to the business of getting out of here...

The odd ship landed in the clearing, covering up the puddle of goo that had been Michael and friends. The ramp descended and down it came what appeared to be an upside down octopus. It was green, slimy and oozing goo from everywhere. You know, your typical B movie alien. It got to the end of the ramp, pulled a universal translator from somewhere, and keyed it into use.

Alien: (sound effects: DEEP and low voice. Think Lurch) "You rang?"
Johnny: "Yes! My Land Cruiser steering column has been bent while performing the honorable service of cheese extraction. I have no spare parts and it's almost time for Jeopardy. Can you help us?
Alien: "Cheese extraction is indeed an honorable use for a steering column. You are to be commended for your quick thiniking."
The alien turned to look at "Elvis".
Alien: "Is that Elvis?" "You know he is wanted on 11 worlds for impersonating an entertainer!" "In exchange for Elvis, we will help you." (There was a HUGE reward for Elvis, but these humans did not need to know that...) Turning to look at the bent steering column with disgust, "but we will NOT touch that!" "If YOU load it on our ship, we will dispose of it for you. We know just the place...

Johnny picked up the steering column, walked up the ramp, and threw it into the ship interior.
He then turned to Elvis and said, "Elvis, take your Willie weed and walk up that ramp. Some guys up there want to sample that, and I hear they have the best fried chicken in space!

Elvis: (sound effects Homer Simson) "Mmmmm FRIED CHICKEN! and up the ramp he went....

Johnny: "Done! So what do I do for a replacement steering column?"
Alien: "We know just the place to get your replacement!" In the meantime here is a bottle of whiskey. Please drink responsibly. Remain here while we travel through sub-space to our secret spare parts stash".

and with that the alien slimed it's way back up the ramp which closed behind it, and the ship was gone.

Johnny stood in the clearing sipping the whiskey and staring up into space. and waited...

 

[jm599]

After that story, I will never ever caress my steering column again.

 

[65swb45]

Well damn! We're only two days into this, and it's already painfully obvious (thanks Johnny; now I will never look at a steering column the same!) that there's gonna have to be more than one prize. Since I get to make the rules, effective immediately there are TWO PRIZES.

 

[thorslc1977]

You folks have too much time on your hands. And if you can write those stories off the top of your head I am more than a little disturbed.

 

[Spike Strip]

CHAPTER
45201-60022​

"Watch out!" I screamed and grabbed at the o's*** bar. "It's Hillary Clinton ! "

Pennis stomped the brake but it was too late: The FJ40 skidded and slammed into her firewall and time seemed to stand still -- Her arms flew up slowly and the computer she was carrying floated into the air - then came a fast smash on the windshield and all went black.

Stars. Swirling.... All around, all I saw were stars. Porn Stars. Then I threw up, so it might have been pawn stars.

I looked over at Pennis; He was hunched over the steering wheel and was trying to put the FJ40 in reverse but the gear would not mesh. He grunted: "where the hell did that server come from??"

"I know, right?" I answered. "There's no restaurant around here."

I swiveled in the chair and had to kick the door to get it open. The rain had stopped. I walked to the front and looked at the computer that was lying in a pool of blood in the middle of the road. Hillary was next to it. The front of the mighty FJ40 was crumpled. Off at the side of the road was a guy wearing a blue windbreaker with big yellow letters: F-B-I. He wasn't moving. Neither was Hillary.

Pennis had crawled out of the 40 and was now standing next to me. "You think that's her emails?" he said.

"Let's find out. Can you access her hard drive?"

"Piece of pie." Pennis looked around went over the the 40. The steering box with attached shaft was lying under the front of the truck. He picked up box and shaft and examined it. "Wow, still straight." Then he swung it hard, like a axe.

"Dude! that's her head!"

Pennis laughed" "Look, her head is so hard it bent it !" He showed it to me. Yes, there was now a bend in the steering shaft.

"Try it again. Don't miss - and not her, the computer!"

Pennis whacked her again: "Sorry, I couldn't resist". Now the shaft was bent in two places. Pennis then turned to the computer in a couple of thumps, the case cracked.

Pennis was an electronics wiz, even better than Coolerman. He quickly had the hard drive wired up to his iPhone 7 and was downloading the emails and uploading to the cloud.

"What are you gonna do with them?" I asked.
"Chelsea, in 20 years." He said, grinning. "Insurance."

Another FJ40 suddenly appeared. Elvis was driving, Johnny Cash was in the passenger seat. "We was in another post and me and Elvis saw all the trouble you amigos was havin'. Thought maybe you all might use a hand." Johnny looked out the window, scrunched up his nose. "Whew, what a mess. Reminds me when I kilt a man just to watch him die."

Pennis and I climbed into the back bench seats... We drove on like that for a while.

"Where you headin'?" Johnny asked.

"To Vaginna," Pennis said. "She needs me."

"Amen, brother. Amen."

Elvis chuckled and finished eating his peanut butter and banana and bacon sandwich. Elvis leaned over and turned on the radio. The theme from "Shaft" followed us into the Sunset.

 

[gator25]

Holy Sh!t Mark! This is getting good, great idea!

 

[65swb45]

Holy Sh!t Mark! This is getting good, great idea!

You're right Nolen. I may be the ringmaster in this three-ring circus, but these guys are the real show. And boy do they make show!

Spike, extra kudos for the smooth way you co-opted the competition. Hillary could have learned a thing or two from you!

 

[SuperBuickGuy]

An expert on one of the other "4x4" forums told the PO that he needed to pull the steering shaft to pull the motor. PO figured he could lift both at once, the rest is history. I hear the OP is now a mod who likes rusty nails.

 

[SuperBuickGuy]

Ok, here's my guess- - -vehicle was involved in a collision/immediate stop, 350 lb. driver slammed into steering wheel, his inertia over powering the dashboard and firewall clamps/mounts, so steering column tube acted as a crush feature.

that's not what a steering wheel (or column) looks like when someone slams into a steering column


only 200 lbs and he died.

 

[Coolerman]

Chapter 3: How the shaft got from Tennessee to California

The whiskey was good, almost as good as the Willie Weed. Johnny opened the drivers door and sat down in the Land Cruiser. There was a lot of room up here with the column gone. He had another sip while staring through the open door up into the sky. This was taking longer than it should have. He wondered if the aliens really would turn Elvis over to someone's planetary government. These and other thoughts were merging and combining as his head slumped forward onto his chest. Johnny slept for the last time on this earth...

The Ship

The room was large, moist, and lit only in the center. The smell of alien biology was strong. It hung in the air like the haze that undulated under the few lights. The scrubbers on board most ships could remove a lot of bad things from the recycled air, but this was one battle they were losing.

Elvis sat on a box in the center of the room. Around him on the floor sat a menegerie of beings. Most were semi-human looking ie, bipedal, a head, two or more eyes, though some not located in the front. A Willie Weed joint was slowly circulating the room, and Elvis was singing....

There are some things that a Universal Translator just cannot translate. Blue Suede shoes sung by Elvis must have been one of those things. The aliens sitting around Elvis were all looking at him and each other with what must have passed for a perplexed look. Who knew what words the translators were pumping into their ears? It didn't matter, the Willie Weed was the best "translator" there was. When Elvis finished, each alien through it's translator asked him to sing another song. Just when he was about to begin, the shipped dropped out of sub space with a sickening jerk. No one was surprised when their translators reported they were turning around and going back to the clearing. They all simply stood and reported to their stations leaving Elvis alone in the room. Elvis just smiled...

The ship approached the clearing and hovered over the Land Cruiser. The tractor beam had no issues pulling the heavy truck up into the cargo hold where it was secured by the loading crew. Johnny slept on...

The captain called his security chief to the control room and asked for an update.

Captain: "So explain to me why we were ordered to go pick up that other human and his truck. His steering column is stinking up this whole ship!" I want rid of it, the truck and Elvis! The reward for Elvis is enough to pay my ex-wife off once and for all! I won't tolerate more delays!

Chief: " Sir with all due respect, this situation preempts any personal business. Earth is about to have an election that could change the universe! Two earthlings are competing to run the wealthiest country. One of them is one of our agents and is the current favorite. Guaranteed to win by all the polls. We just have to get her server destroyed so that the emails on it cannot be used against her. We have recruited some help on earth. Look you can satisfy all your commitments at once. Get the server, get rid of that horrible smelling bent column, pay your debt to Johnny, and after it's done, turn Elvis over." All we have to do it get a new column to fix the truck in the cargo hold, drop Johnny and Elvis off at the server location and let them and our other agents take care of the server. Simple, clean and effective."

Captain: "OK, take us to Marks Offroad in California" He will have the column we need and I know just where to drop off that damn stinky ass column! Some guy named Mushro screwed me over on a deal, I owe him one!" In the meantime get Elvis up here and explain that we will let him go if he helps us. Make it so!

Chief: "Consider it done!"

The ship quickly arrived in California and hovered in the night sky above a nice looking store (on the outside anyway) and beamed the stinky column inside the parts room. Where it would go from there was any ones guess... Next it stopped over top of a metal storage container in the back yard of the owner of Marks Offroad. It quickly scanned for and found a rebuilt steering column and had it beamed into the cargo hold. Mark would be compensated for this apparent theft in the future... The captain never forgot a friend.

The Dirty Deed

Johnny woke to a splitting headache. Realizing he had dropped the bottle of whiskey, he was about to reach for it when he realized he was no longer in the clearing. Looking around in disbelief, he sees Elvis looking at him and laughing.

Johnny: "What's so damned funny?" Where the hell are we? Why aren't you in some prison? Oh God
I need a drink...."

Elvis: "Well despite your best effort to have me shanghied off to some alien prison, there is something greater than either of us that must be taken care of first." He leaned into the Cruiser, picked up the bottle of whiskey and handed it back to Johnny. "Here, drink up, get off your ass, and lets install this steering column, we have a job to do."

Grumbling under his breath and sipping on the whiskey again, Johnny listened as Elvis explained the situation. After a few minutes of this, he understood what they would have to do. He got the tools from under the seat and they started installing the column. When they were done an alien appeared and told them to get in the truck. They were about to be beamed down into a situation. Elvis pushed Johnny out of the way and climbed into the drivers seat which prompted Johnny to once again to start swearing.

Johnny: " Get the F**K out of my truck! No one drives June but ME!
Elvis: "You sir, are drinking! I on the other hand, am only stoned. Besides, I've never been in prison. I might get lucky and the judge likes me. Now get in the passenger seat, shut up, and hold on!
this beam down is going to get rough!

Johnny did as he was asked and was putting on his seat belt when the green light of an emergency beam down enveloped the Cruiser. The last thing he saw was Elvis gripping the steering wheel and yelling Yee! Haw!

The SNAP of the beam terminating was followed by the sound of water under the tires of the Cruiser. They were on a wet highway approaching what appeared to be an accident scene involving another Land Cruiser and pedestrians.... Things got very interesting after that...