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This just added! Marks Off Road T shirt, size L or XL, one with each prize.
Contest-Solve bent steering box mystery
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Hi Mark,
I hope your warehouse woes are coming to an end.
I will definitely be back to DV and the Saline valley in particular, but not this year.
Theand I are going to spend a couple of weeks bobbing around the Caribbean this winter, and be making a trip to the east coast in the summer, so that'll be it for travels this year.
But, I cashed in the Suburban for a Chev AWD van that I have put a 3" lift on and slightly camperized it. So this will be our back country camping rig. From what I saw when I was there, it would easily traverse the Lippincott Pass trail, and even the Steel Pass trail with a slightly larger than stock tire. I figure I can get a 32" tire on it with the lift I have.
So, if I win, I won't be picking up the prize personally, at least not this year.
OK, I just got my marching orders from the
. We'll be in DV February 2018 for a week or so. Probably spend a few days in the SD area as well.If you have any plans to be there, we are flexible.
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for!
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So,xwith over 1700 views, no single post has received more than 7 likes. It only takes one hand to scroll. Just sayin.
JohnnyC
Long ago TLCA# 2231
I did hear once the story of a guy who bought his cruiser new in 68' ... I believe he later found out it was a previous years model and was just sold in 68' ... but... that's a different story
Roy was a rancher dude and lived not too far from Santa Barbara CA. He was enjoying the ranch and drove a jeep flat fender that he picked up surplus. One day he woke to loud noises from behind the barn where the jeep was kept. He went to investigate and his jeep was egg'd the interior (because it was topless) flogged with duck feathers!
Being a WWII veteran he was annoyed ... but... in a calm and collective way.
He cleaned the jeep and went back to bed. Several days went by without incident ... however around the rear of his property behind the barn and into the bushes he felt like something was watching him ... waiting for him ... analyzing his moves. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time ... since his time in war walking thru the jungles of a tiny island within the Philippines.
He hasn't been spooked since ... and he wasn't liking the feeling.
The next morning he woke went to the jeep and it had been egged yet again. So he cleaned it... the next day same thing happened... and then the next as well... 4 days in a row!
He set out to trap these brats ... these little ankle bitting red headed step children ... these delinquents
He pulled up his David Bradley 1/4 ton trailer that is very reminiscent of the trailers he used while overseas ... unhooked the jeep and drove around back... parking it as usual.
At dusk he snuck into the rear of the trailer that he already covered with a canvas canopy... peering through a slit of the canvas that was created from a tree limp on one of his excursions on the ranch. He waits ... and waits... nothing happened.
The next day again he waits... and three more days he waits... and nothing. Annoyed he felt defeated... bested by some little town s***s. That day he drove off to town with trailer in tow to get some grain and hops. This day his wife Rosalie was with him for a bit of a chilly ride (to her... he didn't care in the least) while driving thru the town there was a bang... a clanging sound and then a sudden skidding stop of the jeep. He stepped into the street only to find his shoe slip into a puddle of oil merandering from under his jeep. "Are you s***ten me" he yells out ... as he glanced over at Rosalie who gave that stern look only a wife of many years knows how to do!
She starts "well what cha gonna do?"
Well now he wasn't the type to be vindictive... but... he wasn't the type to be scolded by his wife either ... and she did give him a ribbing here and there. Each time he would do something like "fine ... I'll do this" and the 'this' is normally a bit extreme.
"I'll be back in 20 minutes" he smirked with that mischievous side mouth command because his unlit half of a cigar was on his right. (Couldn't have it lit because the wife didn't like the smell)
He walked down the road after he rolled his jeep off to the side. This would have been a sight for most anybody to see ... as he wasn't just moving his jeep MB ... it had the trailer still attached and an annoyed wife her arms crossed in the passenger seat.
He stomped into the new dealership that was located in the east end of the industrial areas... just up a bit further was the granary he was traveling to. The salesman came up with that smiling bubbly look that most people would agree is better to be smacked off then insulted off. Roy wasn't in a mood ... most definitely not this day.
Roy belts out "get me a Jeep" ... "I'll have any color, any tires, any options, I want to walk out of here in 10 minutes with one" the salesman motioned quickly to another employee with a wave of the hand pointing to the back yard.
The salesman started " sir ... we only have one, and it's ..."
"I told you I don't care" he interrupted the overjoyed man with a tie... "how much is it?" As he took out his bill fold... salesman looked on nervously and said "$2800"
Roy paused... looked him once over and said "this is 2500" as he held it out he also said "there's a 44' jeep just up the road with a shot engine" as the salesman looked up now Roy continued " that's worth several bills as is... are we good?"
The salesman had a rather large grin and said "sure thing... I'll get the keys"
With the keys Roy went out started her up and off to retrieve his trailer and the wife. All in all 19 minutes it took and he was quite proud of this till Rosalie says "what is that?" Roy in response "it's a hardtop" she retorts "you bought a jap car"
He quickly turned glaring at the red beast ... and turning a few shades lighter than the truck he just bought says "get in"
He zoomed off (as much as a cruiser would) in comparison to the willys it was actually much faster... quieter (if you can believe a cruiser can be) and nimble. Speeding along he decided to go and bash up this jap crap and put the wife in shut up mode. All the while going the back road to his ranch he kept thinking "take this you jap" as he went over a burm... "take this" as he steered hard right missing a tree and running sideways over the washboard road... as he came upon his ranch he was grinning and thinking this truck wasn't so bad.
He kept the truck up close to house for several days ... working it hard and impressed more at each days end. He came upon one day to 'out of habit' park behind the barn with Rosalie after shopping for saddle conditioner. He stepped out and whirled around glaring into the bushes. He felt it ... the alarmed feeling of dread ... the 'no this isn't going to happen is it' feeling ... Rosalie asked "what is it Roy?"
It's behind the bushes ... I know it...
With that he jumped in the cruiser, did a 180* and plowed thru the bushes
"Roy .... Noooooo" screamed Rosalie
He finished his destruction of the bushes behind the barn and exited the cruiser to find his wife screaming "I love those bushes"
After a very quiet dinner he was just about to lay down his head when he thought he heard something from just beyond the rocks where the bushes once were. "No no no " Roy ran out in skivies to find the lil red cruiser was fine ... he hopped in ... pushed the drivers seat forward to make a bed and gradually leaned back 'HOOONK' he jumped away from the seat "stupid horn" he thought as he reached over and removed the horn button center... then laid back once more.
As he lay there asleep he feels a caressing of his thigh ... a feeling he has not felt in a very long time. Ah his wife has come to make amends ... to rectify the treatment of Roy with kindness of his wife's touch. Roy lay there now pretending to be asleep to see where this goes ... what will she do next.
Roy feels two hands now caressing his inner thighs as she makes a clucking noise. So now she teases, teases me because I was scared of what awaited me in the bushes? Calling me a chicken? He thinks... Roy ponders and squints out one eye to see what his wife is doing and how she is acting and to his amazement she now sits on top of his lap as he is still laying there. It was so dark, no moonlight and not close enough to any city to get ambient light. She moves on top of Roy moving her hips overtop. Roy is enjoying this moment. Roy is in pure ecstasy. Roy can just make out her feet? Roy is filled with confusion... there is a clucking and a quacking as his confusion is now Turing to horror. These were not his wife's feet. They were webbed? "What the hell?" "What the hell is this?" Roy jumps and pulls the Darth Vader light mounted next to glovebox on.
Roy screams... it was horable ... it was not his wife... it was a chicken duck woman thing seducing him. He started throwing punches and it attacked back. It was horable... they fought something terrible. If he can just hold it off.
He was pinned up against the seat which in turn was against the steering wheel... he was being beaten... he was bloodied.
He pushed back 49 times the attack of the chicken duck women thing.
Roy was a mess... bloodied mess... but the attack was over when he awoke. Face swollen... knuckles swollen and his skivies down to his knees? It was morning when he drove the cruiser to the front of the house.
"It was a bear" he told Rosalie and never spoke of it again. They stayed there several more years. He kept the cruiser but had to replace the steering column as it was badly bent. (This IS the steering column you have) The land cruiser gave him no more trouble nor did the chicken duck woman thing. He for the last few years at the ranch would only park by the house. The bushes grew back... and Roy never went behind the barn... ever again. In 74' they sold the ranch to a famous fellow. His name was Ronald Reagan... an actor and his wife.
Mr. Reagan wanted to also buy the jap jeep that was on the ranch ... but... Roy refused. "If you only knew how much I've been through with that truck" he would meander off with his thoughts. Roy told Ronald of the Jeep and also Toyota dealerships located in Santa Barbara... he also gave a stern warning about the "Bushes of Love" located behind the barn. Never to park there... ever.
Roys wife only imagined her wonderful husband was trying to save the bushes that she loved so much ... he named them for me she would think... her love. But Roy wouldn't say. He told his children's children the story and how he lived in fear all day... every day.... upon his passing a mear 3 years after selling the ranch. It became a legend... and thus also the Land Cruiser.
If you do not believe me... well... this has been happening for years in galaxies far and near as many a people live in fear of the Chicken Duck Women Things (CDWT)
Here is a video to prove my story to be true... from a galaxy far far away...
Roy was a rancher dude and lived not too far from Santa Barbara CA. He was enjoying the ranch and drove a jeep flat fender that he picked up surplus. One day he woke to loud noises from behind the barn where the jeep was kept. He went to investigate and his jeep was egg'd the interior (because it was topless) flogged with duck feathers!
Being a WWII veteran he was annoyed ... but... in a calm and collective way.
He cleaned the jeep and went back to bed. Several days went by without incident ... however around the rear of his property behind the barn and into the bushes he felt like something was watching him ... waiting for him ... analyzing his moves. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time ... since his time in war walking thru the jungles of a tiny island within the Philippines.
He hasn't been spooked since ... and he wasn't liking the feeling.
The next morning he woke went to the jeep and it had been egged yet again. So he cleaned it... the next day same thing happened... and then the next as well... 4 days in a row!
He set out to trap these brats ... these little ankle bitting red headed step children ... these delinquents
He pulled up his David Bradley 1/4 ton trailer that is very reminiscent of the trailers he used while overseas ... unhooked the jeep and drove around back... parking it as usual.
At dusk he snuck into the rear of the trailer that he already covered with a canvas canopy... peering through a slit of the canvas that was created from a tree limp on one of his excursions on the ranch. He waits ... and waits... nothing happened.
The next day again he waits... and three more days he waits... and nothing. Annoyed he felt defeated... bested by some little town s***s. That day he drove off to town with trailer in tow to get some grain and hops. This day his wife Rosalie was with him for a bit of a chilly ride (to her... he didn't care in the least) while driving thru the town there was a bang... a clanging sound and then a sudden skidding stop of the jeep. He stepped into the street only to find his shoe slip into a puddle of oil merandering from under his jeep. "Are you s***ten me" he yells out ... as he glanced over at Rosalie who gave that stern look only a wife of many years knows how to do!
She starts "well what cha gonna do?"
Well now he wasn't the type to be vindictive... but... he wasn't the type to be scolded by his wife either ... and she did give him a ribbing here and there. Each time he would do something like "fine ... I'll do this" and the 'this' is normally a bit extreme.
"I'll be back in 20 minutes" he smirked with that mischievous side mouth command because his unlit half of a cigar was on his right. (Couldn't have it lit because the wife didn't like the smell)
He walked down the road after he rolled his jeep off to the side. This would have been a sight for most anybody to see ... as he wasn't just moving his jeep MB ... it had the trailer still attached and an annoyed wife her arms crossed in the passenger seat.
He stomped into the new dealership that was located in the east end of the industrial areas... just up a bit further was the granary he was traveling to. The salesman came up with that smiling bubbly look that most people would agree is better to be smacked off then insulted off. Roy wasn't in a mood ... most definitely not this day.
Roy belts out "get me a Jeep" ... "I'll have any color, any tires, any options, I want to walk out of here in 10 minutes with one" the salesman motioned quickly to another employee with a wave of the hand pointing to the back yard.
The salesman started " sir ... we only have one, and it's ..."
"I told you I don't care" he interrupted the overjoyed man with a tie... "how much is it?" As he took out his bill fold... salesman looked on nervously and said "$2800"
Roy paused... looked him once over and said "this is 2500" as he held it out he also said "there's a 44' jeep just up the road with a shot engine" as the salesman looked up now Roy continued " that's worth several bills as is... are we good?"
The salesman had a rather large grin and said "sure thing... I'll get the keys"
With the keys Roy went out started her up and off to retrieve his trailer and the wife. All in all 19 minutes it took and he was quite proud of this till Rosalie says "what is that?" Roy in response "it's a hardtop" she retorts "you bought a jap car"
He quickly turned glaring at the red beast ... and turning a few shades lighter than the truck he just bought says "get in"
He zoomed off (as much as a cruiser would) in comparison to the willys it was actually much faster... quieter (if you can believe a cruiser can be) and nimble. Speeding along he decided to go and bash up this jap crap and put the wife in shut up mode. All the while going the back road to his ranch he kept thinking "take this you jap" as he went over a burm... "take this" as he steered hard right missing a tree and running sideways over the washboard road... as he came upon his ranch he was grinning and thinking this truck wasn't so bad.
He kept the truck up close to house for several days ... working it hard and impressed more at each days end. He came upon one day to 'out of habit' park behind the barn with Rosalie after shopping for saddle conditioner. He stepped out and whirled around glaring into the bushes. He felt it ... the alarmed feeling of dread ... the 'no this isn't going to happen is it' feeling ... Rosalie asked "what is it Roy?"
It's behind the bushes ... I know it...
With that he jumped in the cruiser, did a 180* and plowed thru the bushes
"Roy .... Noooooo" screamed Rosalie
He finished his destruction of the bushes behind the barn and exited the cruiser to find his wife screaming "I love those bushes"
After a very quiet dinner he was just about to lay down his head when he thought he heard something from just beyond the rocks where the bushes once were. "No no no " Roy ran out in skivies to find the lil red cruiser was fine ... he hopped in ... pushed the drivers seat forward to make a bed and gradually leaned back 'HOOONK' he jumped away from the seat "stupid horn" he thought as he reached over and removed the horn button center... then laid back once more.
As he lay there asleep he feels a caressing of his thigh ... a feeling he has not felt in a very long time. Ah his wife has come to make amends ... to rectify the treatment of Roy with kindness of his wife's touch. Roy lay there now pretending to be asleep to see where this goes ... what will she do next.
Roy feels two hands now caressing his inner thighs as she makes a clucking noise. So now she teases, teases me because I was scared of what awaited me in the bushes? Calling me a chicken? He thinks... Roy ponders and squints out one eye to see what his wife is doing and how she is acting and to his amazement she now sits on top of his lap as he is still laying there. It was so dark, no moonlight and not close enough to any city to get ambient light. She moves on top of Roy moving her hips overtop. Roy is enjoying this moment. Roy is in pure ecstasy. Roy can just make out her feet? Roy is filled with confusion... there is a clucking and a quacking as his confusion is now Turing to horror. These were not his wife's feet. They were webbed? "What the hell?" "What the hell is this?" Roy jumps and pulls the Darth Vader light mounted next to glovebox on.
Roy screams... it was horable ... it was not his wife... it was a chicken duck woman thing seducing him. He started throwing punches and it attacked back. It was horable... they fought something terrible. If he can just hold it off.
He was pinned up against the seat which in turn was against the steering wheel... he was being beaten... he was bloodied.
He pushed back 49 times the attack of the chicken duck women thing.
Roy was a mess... bloodied mess... but the attack was over when he awoke. Face swollen... knuckles swollen and his skivies down to his knees? It was morning when he drove the cruiser to the front of the house.
"It was a bear" he told Rosalie and never spoke of it again. They stayed there several more years. He kept the cruiser but had to replace the steering column as it was badly bent. (This IS the steering column you have) The land cruiser gave him no more trouble nor did the chicken duck woman thing. He for the last few years at the ranch would only park by the house. The bushes grew back... and Roy never went behind the barn... ever again. In 74' they sold the ranch to a famous fellow. His name was Ronald Reagan... an actor and his wife.
Mr. Reagan wanted to also buy the jap jeep that was on the ranch ... but... Roy refused. "If you only knew how much I've been through with that truck" he would meander off with his thoughts. Roy told Ronald of the Jeep and also Toyota dealerships located in Santa Barbara... he also gave a stern warning about the "Bushes of Love" located behind the barn. Never to park there... ever.
Roys wife only imagined her wonderful husband was trying to save the bushes that she loved so much ... he named them for me she would think... her love. But Roy wouldn't say. He told his children's children the story and how he lived in fear all day... every day.... upon his passing a mear 3 years after selling the ranch. It became a legend... and thus also the Land Cruiser.
If you do not believe me... well... this has been happening for years in galaxies far and near as many a people live in fear of the Chicken Duck Women Things (CDWT)
Here is a video to prove my story to be true... from a galaxy far far away...
Last edited:
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Well, first off, HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my cruiser brothers! 2016 was a heck of a wild ride for me, recovering from the warehouse fire. I can't thank you guys enough for all your support. 2017 holds out to be a another huge adventure, starting with my daughter's wedding next Saturday!
This contest turned out way better than I imagined. I've said over and over again that MUD is a microcosm, and the cross-section of literary talent that showed up for this gig proved that in spades. I would definitely consider doing this again down the road apiece. But for now....the winner is....
Coolerman!
Mark, you have your choice between the two prizes. Let me know. Second prize goes to....Johnny C. Honorable mention goes to Trollhole and Spike Strip for very worthy entries as well. I might have to create a broader prize platform next go around to ensure that all the worthy talent is recognized.
Thanks one and all to those who participated, either by comment or 'liking' someone elses post.
Mark
www.marksoffroad.net
This contest turned out way better than I imagined. I've said over and over again that MUD is a microcosm, and the cross-section of literary talent that showed up for this gig proved that in spades. I would definitely consider doing this again down the road apiece. But for now....the winner is....
Coolerman!
Mark, you have your choice between the two prizes. Let me know. Second prize goes to....Johnny C. Honorable mention goes to Trollhole and Spike Strip for very worthy entries as well. I might have to create a broader prize platform next go around to ensure that all the worthy talent is recognized.
Thanks one and all to those who participated, either by comment or 'liking' someone elses post.
Mark
www.marksoffroad.net
JohnnyC
Long ago TLCA# 2231
Happy new year !!
Congrats @Coolerman
X2 And to all who contributed... they were some fun reads...
Great idea... and thank you for doing this Mark @65swb45
Maybe with the yearly brimmer calendars we can have a yearly story stelling hard cover
lol
I fit in a large ... xl will make me look like a 5 year old with daddy shirt on
Congrats @Coolerman
X2 And to all who contributed... they were some fun reads...
Great idea... and thank you for doing this Mark @65swb45
Maybe with the yearly brimmer calendars we can have a yearly story stelling hard cover
lolI fit in a large ... xl will make me look like a 5 year old with daddy shirt on
Last edited:
I demand a recount I think the Russians had something to do with this outcome .
Thanks Marks. Was a lot of fun and some well needed humor to end 2016 in.
Coolerman
SILVER Star
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Really?
Wow, I'm famous!
I won't be quitting my other job anytime soon however...
That was actually fun! Great idea Mark.
I will take prize #2! Large T please...
shipping to
Global Software, Inc.
501 Darby Creek Rd.
Ste #40
Lexington, KY 40509
JohnnyC
Long ago TLCA# 2231
JohnnyC
Long ago TLCA# 2231
Deplorable's all of you.
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Johnny
I forgot to get your info out of the shop computer while I was there today. By all means PM it to me. I ask peeps not to PM me on business. This definitely not business .
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Happy new year !!
Congrats @Coolerman
X2 And to all who contributed... they were some fun reads...
Great idea... and thank you for doing this Mark @65swb45
Maybe with the yearly brimmer calendars we can have a yearly story stelling hard cover
I fit in a large ... xl will make me look like a 5 year old with daddy shirt on
Wife scrounged through the box and found you a medium.
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On my third steering box rebuild this week, all of a sudden I remembered this thread and thought I’d give it a bump for some of the newbs who may not have seen it before.
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Probably time to have another one.
years ago a camaro in a high speed chase hit me head on at 120 mph pushed the engine in between the seats .the steering colum looked similar to that one with a bit more bend .we 3 in the cruiser lived the 2 guys in the camaro weren't so lucky
