After hours of searching, I’ve found AXC1984 - a 22A 12v relay, that fits. I did have to slightly tweak the spades in towards each other, I measured 1mm difference, and it took quite a push to get in, but now I have everything working again. I’ll attach screen shots of the different part numbers from different suppliers, and the vehicles that these are made for. (Mostly Honda and Hyundai). Also, this is a 4 pin relay. The only thing that seems different is 1) if I depress the A/C switch, the compressor will engage without the fan on, and 2) the A/C switch doesn’t light up, but I can live with this. I went through the end of an Australian summer with no A/C, and then the start of winter with no demisting, so these things are trivial. I still can’t work out for the life of me why terminal 5 (87a I think) is NC (to the hot wire) when the switch is off, and what this could have to do with the A/C clutch or switch light being powered when the switch is open, but I’m not an auto electrician, I’m just glad to have it all working again. I got the relay from NAPA, if this helps.
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