The fpr defaults to low speed. Not sure where that first wiring diagram came from but I’d stop lookin at it and solely use the factory manual (colored wiring diagram).
Port 1 is not going to show voltage when the ECU is trying to trigger the FPR. It’s providing a ground to port 1, so if you test with a multi-meter port 1 should show continuity with ground (-). That’s what triggers the relay.
Look at the power flow, you have 12v coming into port 5 of the relay which flows through the FPR to the resistor but also has a path through the relay trigger. The reason it’s not triggered right away is because there is no ground at port 1 until the ecu calls for high flow, at which time the ecu internally switches on the ground for port 1 on. That allows current to flow through the relay trigger which should switch the FPR to high flow.
So let’s just keep this simple, you need to put a probe in port 1 and a clip the other probe on the negative battery post. Set the multI meter to test continuity then start up the car, if the ecu is working you should see continuity.
I can make some diagrams in my circuit simulator tonight and screen shot them to help illustrate what I'm trying to explain. Don't know about you but I'm a visual guy.