Postscript - Things don’t always go as planned.
Thought I’d sleep in this AM, so naturally my internal clock decides “He ain’t having none of that late sleeping in nonsense as long as I’m in charge”. So, as I’m loading up the coffee pot to expedition level at 0430, I figure whats it going to hurt to do some “routine” chores on the Mule.
Half an hour later I’m hopping around the kitchen loaded with a full tank of high octane, pure uncut caffeine squirting through the injectors. With my ”can do attitude“ fully charged and pulsating I amble out into the garage twirling a 13mm ratchet and whistling show tunes. Sitting neatly in the corner is a brand new to me, genuine copy of an original, made by a low bidder, three plug REMAN alternator. I give it a stare with my dilated unblinking eyes and whisper “You going down today mister, 15 minutes from now you’ll be chucking 50 amps of pure unpasteurized power to one each diamond plated mule”.
I’m hitting the high notes of “Cabaret” and doing a little soft shoe shuffle on the starboard side of engine bay as I do my best lefty loosey on the upper bracket thing-a-ma-bob. A few more twisties and out comes the first bolt. I start channeling my inner Gene Kelly and break into a rousing rendition of Singing in the Rain. I’m barely through the chorus when the lower bracket whatcha-ma-call-it is clear of the housing......Smooooth, oh so smooth. I give some serious thought to posting up a thread on chit chat called “I’m one Smmmmooooth
.
I snatch up the REMAN like I’m stealing it and test it‘s weight in my hand. Piece of cake, Ima’ get Ten Million likes on my Smoooth thread. I’m going viral on MUD. Toyota is going to build a new series TLC made entirely of diamond plate called the Mule - Limited Edition. “I’m singing in the rain, just singing in the rain”......
I righty tighty the upper holder on-er bolt and I righty tightly the lower bigger holder on-er bolt. They’ll probably offer me a VP position at corporate heading up the off road design team. Dakar, Baja, Trans Siberia, The WV highway system. “Singing in the rain”.
Using my patented chunk o’ pipe tensioner bar, I slip the fan belt into place and cinch-er-down. “Singing in the rain, I’m singing in the rain”. I step back to admire my superior automotive craftsmanship and wonder if I should start a school?
Hmmm, while I’m at it, I think I’ll pull the engine and do a quick rebuild. Then after lunch I’ll add disk brakes to the rear and build a wiring harness.
Then I hear it. At first it was just a stifled guffaw. Then a chuckle, then an outright maniacal laugh. The mule convulsed, chortled and backfired through the carb....”What? What? What’s so funny you aluminum skinned, Monsta lined bag of mixed JIS bolts...What?“ The mule flicks the high beams and starts the same uproarious laughter again. Picking up my 2 1/2 pound Mule sedative, I move to the front bumper and prepare to administer the coup de gras. “Nighty night Mijo” I hiss between my clenching jaw. I lean forward to steady myself as the 2 1/2 pound “lead sleeping pill“ starts the downward arch. Then I feel it before I see it. Halting the downward swing I stand back as a bewildered and confused look spreads across my face. I stare blankly and mutely at my shiny new alternator pulley lying on top of the winch. Yep, just where I’d put it the night before so I wouldn’t forget it..
OK, so what, no big deal probably happens to Mark
@65swb45 all the time. For God‘s sake I bet he’s got a whole pile of forget-me-nots sitting around his shop. Shoot, I bet he uses them for paper weights, probably sends em‘ out to all his customers as party favorites. I probably have one coming in the mail any day now.
Mule chuckles and shuts of his headlights. Once again I rationalize, ”Soooo what, maybe I won’t open a school for the mechanically gifted. But, I‘m still going to have my own thread in Chit Chat....”Stupid Mule”
The Gene Kelly spirit exits through the side door as I take stock of the situation. I look at the trio of diminutive vises I have on the reloading bench. Better used for fly tying than actually holding an alternator. Add vise to required shop essentials list. Make another note that my air compressor is sitting in the old “garage” IE storage building 125 miles to the west. Number 2 on the must do list, bring air compressor to Lake house. I know, I’ll secure it with ratchet straps and zip that tiny little nut off in no time at all. Worked for the gi-nor-mus nut that resides on the front of the engine. 1/2 hour later decide that idea is better left to gi-nor-mus nut removal.
Whooaa, I got it, use the “call a buddy option”. Snatch up over priced cell phone and hit the 1st number on the favorites. One ring, 2 rings...”Hello, Magic Fingers Massage Parlor, our regular business hours are Monday...click.. Must of been one of my fishing buddies pulling a funny on his voice mail. Make another note to remind unknown friend to take that message off his phone before his wife hears it. Ryan
@rkymtnflyfisher told me ”fishing buddies” are a really Strange lot, prone to offhanded behavior and bouts of Mopery. I figure I’ll PM him later to confirm his suspicions about fishing buddies and advise him to buy a rifle. Hit 2nd number on the favorites, fourteen rings later, my Hunting Buddy, B-Ray answers.
“Helllllo” ? “Hey B-Ray it’s me, say buddy I got this problem and I need you to drop by with your three phase air compressor”. Before I could continue B-Ray cuts me off, probably overly excited with the prospect of being part of something meaningful. “What time is it“ ? He half mumbles through an extended yawn. “Time? “Oh I don’t know, little before 0500” I reply. “In the morning”? He asks. “Yeah buddy you see I got this prob”......Click. Hmmm must be a dropped call. No worries I’m sure he’s getting dressed to come right over with his 200 gal air compressor and an impact gun.
Reckon I’ll have another cup of death wish dark roast while I wait. Hour later he’s a no show. Better call back..Hmmm straight to voice Mail. Mules giggles. Gives me a “so much for hunting buddies” look.
Now in the land of Nod, we don’t take kindly to folks abusing the hunting buddy code. Fishing buddy? Well that’s fair game. But hunting buddy abuse, that’s a violation of the tree stand honor code.
My recent irritation re-emerges. “Shut up Mule” I yell indignantly and toss a crowbar across the garage. Mules lays on the horn in protest. I make my way to the engine bay to pull the plug on coil when from the top of the stairs I hear”
“What the
Is going on down there? It’s
5:30 in the morning
what the
. Don’t you move little man I’m going to
you....!!!
I had awakened the “Dark One”.....☠
“Morning Pumkin, what are you doing up so early? You want a cup of coffee? I made a whole pot..!
To be continued......
All these things happened to the best of my recollection.
I was just telling Sonny from FJparts about the rollover tree at lunch yesterday.
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