The diff lock actuator is powered through a relay in the 4wd ECU in the left kick panel (RHD HDJ81).
That relay is triggered either by you shifting to Low range which activates the low range position switch in the transfer case. This completes the power circuit to trigger the relay to provide power to the centre diff lock actuator.
CDL switch circumvents the need to shift to low range. It triggers the relay directly to power the CDL actuator whether you are in low range or not.
The relay is small, inside a box, inside the kick panel. You won't really hear it unless you listen for it.
The CDL cannot lock unless the gears in the mechanism are aligned. Sitting stationary, this is random luck if they align. Rolling back and forth in a straight line is also not likely to move the diff gears enough for them to align.
Find somewhere that you can drive in a large circle, or figure 8s. The turning/steering will cause the centre diff gears to shift in relation to the locking mechanism. If the CDL doesn't lock doing this, then you have an issue. If it doesn't lock in your driveway, don't panic yet. Go out and test it.
I drove the car around in both Low and High ranges in both cases with the CDL button depressed and not depressed. The center diff is clearly not locking in either case, so I really don't think it's just a matter of getting all the gears to line up.
Sorry if this is long winded or overkill, but I always find it helpful to understand as thoroughly as possible how a system works so I can try to think of a logical series of tests to get directly to the problem or eliminate things that can't be the problem... Let me paraphrase what I think you're saying mixed with what I'm reading in other threads and make sure I understand how this should be working:
The relay (inside the 4wd ECU) should send power to the actuator to lock the center diff under one of two conditions: 1) the Low Range Position Switch is closed, telling the ECU the transfer case is in low, or 2) the CDL dash button is closed telling the ECU the driver has chosen the locked position (I presume the ECU is also looking for a simultaneous open signal from the Neutral Position Switch so it only will lock the center diff in either High or Low range... maybe that's not necessary). After that, the Center Lock Diff Switch closes when it senses the center diff is locked, which tells the ECU to illuminate the center diff lock indicator light. Does all that sound about right?
If so, the I see the following reasons the center diff wouldn't lock up:
A) Everything's working, but gears not aligned
B) CDL Actuator failed
C) 4wd ECU is not getting closed signal from Low Range Position Switch
D) 4wd ECU is not getting closed signal from dash CDL Switch
E) 4wd ECU failed... either the relay inside has failed or the board is not processing the signals correctly
F) CDL Actuator isn't getting enough or any power
I think I've eliminated A by driving several laps around the neighborhood and D by installing the switch in a working car. I think I can come close to eliminating C since the center diff also will not lock in High range with the dash CDL Switch, which I know works, selected to lock.
Could I be missing a fuse? I've checked everywhere I can think of, but none seem blown. At the same time, none are labeled as having anything to do with the transfer case, transmission, or even engine so that I can make sure I'm not missing something.
I was going to test the 4wd ECU by swapping the units from the good vs bad truck, but I'll be damned if I can find it even with the glove box removed. I thought I located it based on photos of the part number and approximate location from the diagram, but it was the power steering ECU. Is it easily visible? I've removed the glove box as well... nothing that looks like it is readily apparent to me. There's one box just inboard of the emissions ECU, but it doesn't look like the part and the connector is on top of the unit where the diagram suggests the connector plugs into the bottom.
Any corrections on my logic? Any other direct and not terribly invasive or difficult tests you can suggest to either specifically diagnose the problem or at least eliminate options? My suspicion is it's not the actuator but something to do with the 4wd ECU, relay inside that box, or power to the actuator. The fact it worked once but then stopped seconds later sounds more like some kind of electrical failure, plus the fact it makes a clicking noise when entering Low but not when selecting from the dash CDL button.
Open to ideas.