I am going to answer my own question to this issue in case others encounter it and offer a bit of info and a solution to the matter.
It seems that the issue that I was having and described above, is related to the sensitivity of the T-Max cut out voltage for charging and connecting/disconnecting the batteries.
I Found that at ~13.3 volts the T-max controller will connect both batteries for charging. The owners instructions provide this cut in spec, but do not provide the cut out/off spec. In any case, it is relatively easy for my auxiliary battery to reach that 13.3 volts with minimal charge from the solar controller. Then the T-max controller activates the solenoid and links both batteries. At this time the voltage drops. This is based on the state of charge of the main battery and the voltage drop across the solenoid or other loads. My voltage would often drop to 12.8 volts. This is low enough for the T-max controller to disconnect the batteries. Within 30 seconds of being disconnected, the charging voltage of the auxiliary battery reaches above 13.3 volts and this cycle repeats itself.
The sensitivity of the cut in cut out settings on the T-max controller operated the battery solenoid much more often than I desire.
I also did not like that the T-max controller automatically links both batteries when the vehicle is started. The National Luna controller has a timer that requires a 5 minute run time before connecting the batteries, and this helps ensure that the main battery is charged(and also reduces the load on the alternator) before connecting both batteries. I do prefer the T-max controller monitor to the National Luna design(this is just a personal preference of having the 90sec timer for the status display and not having a separate intelligent solenoid controller).
I decided to add an on- off -on switch to the green lead from the controller that operates the battery link solenoid. This gives me 3 main options.
1- ON-(green to ground) both batteries linked all of the time allows jump starting and charging and avoids any timers to automatically disconnect the batteries.
2- OFF- keeps both batteries disconnected all of the time. (this is the one that I am using most often) In a standard single battery setup the main battery does not need additional charging from sources other than the alternator during normal operation most of the time. This prevents my main battery from being discharged by auxiliary loads. My Solar panel is an adequate charging source to keep my auxiliary battery charged most of the time, depending on the sun and loads. I can always connect both batteries during a long drive, if my auxiliary battery needs charging.
3- ON- (green to green) resumes operation as designed by the T-max controller.
Here is a picture of my switch under the T-max controller. easy to access yet out of the way. My T-Max controller is installed to a hinge with a magnet to hold it shut.