10 Easy steps to Theift proof your vehicle.
So the real answer is simple then... (10ish easy steps)
1) Install two solenoids on your starter.
2) Install a double throw switch in the line from your key that triggers the solenoid (the crank position)
3) install a 2nd battery (can be very small - motorcycle or something)
4) wire the 2nd solenoid to the 2nd battery
5) DONT charge the 2nd battery.
5a) Install a pushbutton switch on the dash that says "Battery Boost" which is really connected to a hidden camera aimed at the drivers position, as well as a camera mounted in the back of the truck aimed through the front window. These are connected to a DVR, so you can post the videos on YouTube later.
6) leave your transfer case shifter in neutral
7) Install electric locking hubs on your rear axle, powered through a normally open relay.
8) Install a normally closed fuel solenoid, or wire to the EDIC, or normally open relay for the oil pressure switch on a diesel
9)Install a greeting card (you know the ones that sing songs), with a pre-recorded message (with Nelson voice from the simpsons) "Haw Haw - you're not smart enough to steal this truck" this plays through a loudspeaker to the outside world.
Theif gets in (you left the switch in the "dead battery" position)
Theif bypasses the ignition, engine won't crank or cranks slowly and stops. Theif pushes the "battery boost" button but it doesn't work. This switch also plays the greeting card. (and you have a picture of them now) Theif grabs their jump pack but they are jumping a good battery so it won't do them any good, as they are still cranking off the dead battery.
Theif (A) gives up and goes on to an easier target. or (B) decides to bump start. Transfer case is in neutral so the wheel motion won't transfer to the flywheel. Theif figures out transfer case, attempts another bump start, but all hubs are unlocked so again it won't bump start. Greeting card plays again. Theif (C) gives up and goes on to an easier target because he has already been here for 10 minutes or (D) figures out your bypass switch and cranks the engine over, but the fuel solenoid or EDIC does not allow any fuel to get to the engine. Greeting card plays (or the oil pressure causes the engine to stall each time it starts) Greeting card plays
(E) Theif gives up because it is taking too long and they are now afraid you will show up.
Theif comes back a while later with a pickup with a stinger on it - what can you do in 3 seconds?
10) wire plastic explosives to your U'bolts & steering linkage & Front tires. Rig the explosives to a pressure switch which is sensitive to the motion of the front shocks. When the stinger grabs the front wheels and lifts, the plastic explosives detonate, releasing the entire front axle to the stinger. The truck pulls away with only the front axle in the stinger. (slip joint on the driveshaft will seperate) Since the tires were blown as well, the front axle should fall out of the stinger just infront of the truck. Attach some bottle rockets and noisemaker fireworks to the leaf springs on your truck. When the plastic explosives go off it should light up the bottle rockets/noise makers (and the greeting card) Bottle rockets then fire off towards the vehicle attempting to get away from the scene of the crime. (attach greeting card to bottle rocket, inside greeting card write "HAW HAW FxxxER - I WIN!!).
Wouldn't that be worth the time it would take to replace a few U-bolts, steering links and tires? (you could probably sell the video!)
Alternatively, you could leave very simple instructions on how to start your vehicle (with none of the above installed). Don't lock your doors. Install a large inverter (3kW or so), switched on/off through a seperate hidden switch of your choice. The inverter takes your batteries 12V to 240VAC. Run some foil tape in two sections on the back side of your steering wheel. (left side and right side) Run one half of each side of the 240V output to each side of your steering wheel, and dont EVER, EVER, EVER forget about it yourslef. 240V from hand to hand will stop your heart, possibly explode it, and give you some NASTY burns.
But look at the bright side, You got 15 seconds more than you had before. So let's review...
