Butte-Part 2: Breakfast at Gamer's
When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet,
"What's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said.”
--A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
I can't remember when I last ate. It may have been that sandwich yesterday afternoon at the Bank Bar in Wilsall. Less than 24 hours ago and already it seems a lifetime away. So does Jen's pre-dawn coffee. And Jen. Was that really just this morning? I've barely left Bozeman and the time I spent there is already a blur, a dream within a dream. Too much time on the road, I think, and it's beginning to play with my head. The old timer says Gamer's Cafe serves the best breakfast in Montana and I'm running on empty, so I don't have to think hard about my next move. I fire up The Turtle and pull out of RD's parking lot, tracking north on Harrison Street toward uptown Butte. Following his directions, Harrison to Front, Front to Arizona, Arizona to Park, I'm there in less than ten minutes. When I'd asked the old timer to describe the cafe building, so I'd know what to look for, he studied me for a minute, seemed to be considering his words, and finally said "
Description? I just gave you directions. A blind man could follow my directions, and you don't appear to be blind." Something my Dad would have said. Well...Okay then. He was correct; I'm not blind, and I found it. I'd expected a little hole-in-the-wall diner, and I couldn't have been more wrong. Gamer's occupies the ground floor of a massive 19th century building. It's a magnificent architectural relic of another time, four stories of red brick and carved stone featuring a turret, gables, arched windows, and ornate metal trim. On the fascia above the second story windows is a stone signboard, "
Curtis Music Hall." A green canvas awning shades the entry and above the awning an old marquee spanning the width of the building tells me I'm in the right place: "
Jordan Jewelry and Gamer's Fine Food." I park on the street a half block away and hike back to Gamer's. I'm eager to sample some of that fine food. A lot of it.
Inside the front door there's the usual rack of tourist literature; I pick up a brochure on historic Butte and walk through the foyer into the cafe. It looks like something out of a 1930's movie; everything is pastel blues and greens, art-deco furnishings. On the right is a long lunch counter with swivel stools and on the opposing wall are booths, their seats upholstered with white vinyl. It's early and the cafe isn't crowded, only a few diners at the counter and the booths mostly unoccupied. Self seating seems to be the drill, so I pick a booth and settle in. The pamphlet tells me that Curtis Music hall was built in 1892 and during its long history it's been a dance hall, theater, saloon, rooming house and possibly an exclusive bordello. Gamer's Cafe, formerly Gamer's Confectionery, has been in operation continuously since 1933. A waitress approaches my booth and from her appearance, I'm fairly certain she's worked here since the doors were opened in 1933. She even has a 30's name, Myrtle. She hands me a menu and silverware rolled in a napkin, and she's all business. No "
Good Morning," or "
Welcome to Gamer's," just "
Coffee?" I nod yes and begin studying the menu. Another waitress walks past my booth carrying plates heaped with steaming biscuits and hashbrowns and a monster omelet.
There's a problem here. I can't make a decision. I want it all. Fortunately, everything on the menu is cheap, so I decide to go for broke. Myrtle returns with coffee and I order a Farmer's Omelet, home made corned beef hash, cottage fries, biscuits and gravy, and a half order of French toast with maple syrup and fresh blueberries. And orange juice. Yeah, I know, a little over the top. But I'm thinking it could be a long wait until I eat again. After all, this is desolate territory, the Wild West. I'd hate to break down in the middle of nowhere and starve to death because I didn't eat enough breakfast. No regrets, right? Myrtle dutifully writes everything down, looks at me over the top of her glasses, and says "
This all for you?" I tell her yes, I'm alone, it's all for me, and I ask if she could stagger the courses--biscuits and gravy first, then omelet and hash, and French toast for dessert. She doesn't comment, but I get a disapproving look and as she walks away I'm pretty sure I hear a "Harrumph." I've already seen that look, earlier this morning, and I wonder if she's related to the old timer at the truck stop.
My food begins arriving, in waves, and it's as good as advertised. The old timer didn't steer me wrong. I eat, and eat, and while eating continue to read the pamphlet on historic Butte. By the time I'm done, I've decided that I can spare a few minutes to check out that $hithole M&M Bar. It may be a tourist trap but it must be famous for a reason. I'm already in the neighborhood, and I'd hate to be this close and not even do a drive-by. Myrtle brings my check, plants it in front of me and says "I'll be your cashier." She doesn't seem impressed that I cleaned all my plates. I glance at the bill, nine bucks and change; it seems way too low. I have a credit card in my hand but before handing it over I pause to examine the bill. Myrtle stands by the booth, hands on hips. I know the pose; if I don't shape up quickly she's gonna start tapping her foot. "
Something wrong" she asks? I start to tell her that the bill doesn't seem to be enough for everything I ordered, but she cuts me off abruptly. "
I combined your orders. Saved you a few dollars. It's correct. Were you planning to hand me that credit card?" I say "
Yes Ma'am, I was," and hand it over. On second thought, I don't think Myrtle would undercharge me. Not her.
She returns with the credit card ticket, I sign, and decide to be bold and ask for directions.
Me: "Do you happen to know how to get to the M&M from here?"
Myrtle: "Are you pulling my leg?"
Me: "No Ma'am."
Myrtle: "You can't be hungry."
Me: "No Ma'am. I just want to check it out."
Myrtle: "What does that mean? You want a drink? At this hour?"
Me: "No. I'm just passing through Butte. Wanted to see what the place looks like. It's supposed to be famous."
Myrtle: "Can you walk?"
Me: "Of course I can walk. Why?"
Myrtle: "I'm not even convinced you can get out of that booth after what you just ate."
Myrtle's idea of humor. She's a laugh a minute. I give her a token chuckle and assure her that I can walk very well, thank you.
Myrtle: "
M&M. Go out the front door. Turn left. Walk to the corner. Turn left on Main. Walk 30 feet. Second building on your left. A blind man could find it."
Another blind man comment? What the hell? There's no doubt in my mind now, she has to be related to the old timer. I wait until Myrtle walks away, struggle to my feet and waddle out the front door, heading for the infamous M&M Bar.
To be continued....