Classy, this is a terrible story... so sorry this happened to you, and I'm glad you and you family are safe. I also know how the wife's trust can be shaken when something like this happens, especially if you've had to talk her into in the first place. I consider myself fortunate that my father-in-law is also (well, was, at his age he doesn't work on cars much anymore) a shade-tree mechanic, and my wife grew up driving elderly Toyotas, so she has a bit more tolerance. But it still crops up in my household form time to time as well.
The thing to remember, of course, is that an LC is just a car. No matter how reliable they are, they can be fouled-up by incompetence, as you unfortunately experienced. It's not an indictment of the car, its an indictment of the work.
Have you decided to the do the repair work yourself? If not, I would highly recommend it. Nothing that you have to do is hard, per se, it's just heavy work. But it can be accomplished with time and basic hand tools. If you have a garage where you can lay up the rig for a week or two, you can work on it at your leisure. Read the FSM, ask for help on MUD, and follow all the directions. This way, you'll KNOW it was done correctly!
Paul's videos on the bearing/front end service are invaluable. I did this job a year ago following his instructions, with no prior experience. Took me a whole day.
I happen to agree with Paul that the three most critical things in the job are: 1) enough grease (too much is better than too little); 2) proper break-away preload, measured using a fish scale (the torque of the preload nut is not critical, other than as an indication that the bearing is excessively worn); and proper snap ring clearance. These are the three things that most shops--including the dealer--will commonly screw up. Hence why you do it yourself.
LCs are cars that are designed to be SERVICED. Most new cars--even other Toyota 4X4s--use non-serviceable bearings that are simply replaced. As a result, shops just don't have the expertise, or the desire to read the f'ing manual and do the job right.
Anyway, I don't have much more to add than to offer you encouragement... best of luck!
