It's basically some potentiometers that are adjusted by the barn door.
I have a pdf somewhere of a troubleshooting guide for a bosch VAF on a Digifant2 volkswagen cabriolet and similar. It gave an idea of what the resistance should be between different positions on the connector through some positions. These would be different for each application.
Regarding "use a bmw one" there may well be a bmw VAF that will bolt on but you can be sure it will behave differently. There have been a lot of guys who turbocharged old 1.8L volkswagens who 'fixed' their lean running condition by swapping on a VAF from a BMW with a somewhat larger engine, which caused those cars to run rich instead. Some people's children, right?
But another concern with an aftermarket part would be whether the spring resistance on the barn door is - whether it moves the same for the same air as the original.
Years ago, my stumbling and low idle issues were gone after i replaced ALL of the vacuum lines, cleaned the IAC valve and its passage, and put band clamps on the air duct because the duct walls had been squished thin by the original factory wire loop type clamps. Of course, i did verify that there are no cracks in the duct.
If someone could identify a BMW part that physically fit, all the other things like spring pressures, resistance levels etc could be measured and compared.
Having an OEM substitute for a critical NLA part like this would be great.