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I'm trying to understand why the engine wouldn't idle, even with a spark plug getting doused out with water, it should idle roughly at least. When the spark plugs were swapped out, the OP didn't mention anything about wet or steam cleaned plug(s) so I feel like something else is amiss here.
I wonder if the IAC is the culprit and should be swaped out with a known, good unit just for S&G? I know that no CELs are popping up but something is going on with the idle circuit. If all vac hoses are good and connected, that leads to the IAC unit.
OP, please update your signature line with location, mods etc so that someone close to you can help out with a "control" engine that is running normal.
Random thought: Did you check your throttle body for contamination? There is a cooling circuit that goes through the throttle body that, if broken, leaking, etc could introduce coolant to the engine. Would show trace amounts in exhaust. A new throttle body is WAY cheaper than a new engine. If the leak down and compression tests show good, it could make a hell of a lot of sense. Also, no sensor on that for leaks, so it wouldn't throw a code.
There is no IAC on these motors; the ECU controls the idle via the throttle body.
That's crazy...5 bad cylinders?!
I'm calling it as a timing belt tooth jump or improper install. With numbers that low it would have never run right.