Bodean
Hot Damn
Nice! I'll have to try that.
Jokes thread (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter dnp
- Start date
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Dog For Sale
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I joined the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, watching suspected terrorists and listening in. I uncovered some incredible stuff, saved hundreds of lives and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a Bull****ter . He's never even been out of the yard!'
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I joined the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.
I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, watching suspected terrorists and listening in. I uncovered some incredible stuff, saved hundreds of lives and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a Bull****ter . He's never even been out of the yard!'
nice Lee
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop.
The cashiers asks "what would you like?"
The Dalai Lama asks, "Can you make me one with everything?"
....
Joke drum noises ; )
The cashiers asks "what would you like?"
The Dalai Lama asks, "Can you make me one with everything?"
....
Joke drum noises ; )
- Thread starter
- #145
Oh I get it: the Dalai Lama likes his pizzas with all the toppings on it.
That's funny.
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did .... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did .... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.
A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."
My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.
Butch posted this on F book. I thought i would share.
Too bad thats an eel not fish
DNP living the dream
http://media.***ung.net/images/27705/96b7c067a52b05e885be4c5ac1972e9d.gif
http://media.***ung.net/images/27705/96b7c067a52b05e885be4c5ac1972e9d.gif
- Thread starter
- #151
Haha! Sebastian Buemi from a couple of years ago.
It's one thing to lose an upright, but to have both of them blow off simultaneously, I think that'd put a little question in the driver's mind about the car's future reliability!
Why spelling is so important.
Speeling c*nts...
I like hores also.
This is for you Airforce guys...
Yo momma joke
Yo momma soooooo black,,,,,,,,,, when she git out the car, the oil light come on!
.....
Yo momma soooooo black,,,,,,,,,, when she git out the car, the oil light come on!
.....
- Thread starter
- #157
Bomar
SILVER Star
Lil superbowl humor between bros..
Saw this from Todd K on F book..
DADDs unite!
DADDs unite!