New battery... won’t start. key reset? engine immobilization?

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The positive red battery cable on the left as your facing the battery.
 
Think you need more juice. Even a trickle charger would help.
If you can't jump it pull the pos cable off for a while it might help but won't hurt. Put a rag between the cable and battery so they don't touch.

trickle charger didn’t help :(
Jumping now
 
Does your battery dash gauge read 14 volts or close to it when the jumper cables are hooked up ? And how far away is the key from the starter button?
 
did you try holding the FOB directly on the start button (leaving a small space for your finger to push the button)? I had to do that after a battery swap.

Was this tried? That is what I came to suggest. A weak FOB key will create this condition, but I believe the car usually warns of a low FOB battery.
 
A few thoughts:

If the immobilizer says "Shift to [P]ark" that seems like a key bit of info. You should also be able to start in Neutral, but this makes me think your neutral safety switch is failing or misaligned.

I thought the engine immobilizer was also activated if the hood was open, but perhaps I'm remembering wrong. I know many aftermarket remote start systems do that to prevent someone from trying to bypass the system, so I may be confusing the remote starter with the key-based starter

Battery voltages can be misleading. 12.7V is considered full on a sealed lead acid battery. If you charge a battery it might read up to 14.4V when you take it off the charger, but that's not the real charge - rather there's a "surface charge" which needs to dissipate. After you've charged it for a while, take it off the charger and put a load on the battery. You can do that by turning your headlights (or high beams) on for a few minutes. Then after you turn them off check the voltage to see where it's really at. You want the "resting charge" to be >12.5V... if it's not put it back on the charger and try again.

As far as charging, remember power = volts x amps. If you're on the margin between a solenoid click and a proper start like Iwas a couple hours on a trickle charge might do, but if the battery is really low you will need possibly days to get it recharged. Assuming your 100AH battery is at 40% and you need to get it to 80% that's 40A @ 12V. If your charger is providing 1A @ 12V it will take 40 hours to get to 80%. (Above 80% the charging rate slows...)

FWIW read RV Tech Library - Battery Charge Voltage if you have a few minutes but 11.5V is near dead, so your old battery wasn't going to start your vehicle.

The LC will drain the battery over time if you're not driving it. The current stay-at-home orders will make this worse. This weekend I went to start my rig and it was a slow crank for a moment and then started up OK. Ran it for a minute, then shut it down, and it wouldn't start again.... a few slow cranks and then just a solenoid click on the second attempt. Third attempt did nothing. My battery voltage was >12V (only had an analog meter handy) but I did notice the battery cable wasn't fully tight so in my case I think when I did run the truck it wasn't getting charged correctly. I put it on a crappy trickle charger I had lying around for a couple hours and it started OK after that.
 
The dealer mechanic was not helpful “tow it in” got to see if there is someone who can make house calls that is decent :(
 
Retrace. Gotta be something simple.
 
What caused the old battery to die? Did it die slowly or all of a sudden?
 
I've had a no start in my driveway too, so I feel your pain. In my case it was cranking fine . . . I'd just run out of gas:confused:
 
If the solenoid has failed it might be possible to do the solenoid bypass trick, though it is a little complicated and needs two people and a special tool.
 
Turn lights on and see if they get very dim when trying to start or measure voltage as someone pushes Start button.
 
The mechanic won't send someone because they think it's electrical and it needs to get to a shop with a scanner :(
So I am going to look into towing.
 

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