Monday Chuckle

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not sure if this has been posted yet
fall.jpg
 
Tyrone...........leaves little doubt as to his race.:p:p
 
Wow, that must have been like a 20' tall curb, and I bet the Marines didn't touch him. :lol:
 
The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life
 
Why didn't the Government think of this??

A friend of mine started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well.

He says prophets are going through the roof!!!
 
Car for women

Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women.

They are mixing the Clio and the Taurus, and calling it the "Clitaurus." It comes in pink, and the average male thief won't be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.

:flamingo:
 
Doctors

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Guns

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.0000188
Statistics courtesy of FBI

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT

Almost everyone has at least one doctor. This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a
doctor as by a gun owner!!! We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Out of concern for the public at large, We withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention
 
I don't know how long this link will work.
Check out the comparison between the Camaro and his "soon to be ex-wife."

Chevrolet : Camaro | eBay
 
You are a hell of a writer! This is one of the most entertaining bits that I have read in a long time!
We all haunt MUD for the informative content. You have singlehandedly found and invented comedy in the venue. I laughed so hard that it brought tears to my eyes! You are one sick puppy with a talent for writing. How many of my friends can I foreward this to?
 
This story was LOL. We dedicate most of the MUD site to vehicle maintenance. We get so serious about it all. If we can divert our attention to LOL subjects, it just tells us that we are not all work and no play. While the head gasket breaks down, we can think about farting in a public bathroom. It makes us more human. The top story at the start of this thread had me laughing so hard that my eyes were tearing and my wife thought I was crazy. Maybe the writer didn't mean it to be comedy, but it is hilarious! I have passed it on to my Mom and several friends.
 
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