And even let you watch ...
Monday Chuckle
- Thread starter Texican
- Start date
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Ouch
Right out of Austin Powers ("You show that turd who's boss")
1964 Ad for WD40
^Awesome^
How I damned-near become a Doctor - - -
When I was a young'un in college, I decided I wanted to be a doctor. So I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School.
One of the questions asked was to rearrange the letters *PNEIS* into
the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered spine are doctors today. The rest of us are sending jokes via email.
When I was a young'un in college, I decided I wanted to be a doctor. So I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School.
One of the questions asked was to rearrange the letters *PNEIS* into
the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered spine are doctors today. The rest of us are sending jokes via email.
Passing this along ...
So today's my birthday.
Birthdays used to be cause for big celebrations ... nowadays they've just become a day to reflect back on my life.
Been alive 53 years now and been with the same comp'ny for 31 of 'em.
Yet all I got to my name is a big-ass truck and a brokedown friggin' jeep.
How can that be???
Ironic'ly enuf ... on this very mornin' ... I just stumbled upon the answer.
Birthdays used to be cause for big celebrations ... nowadays they've just become a day to reflect back on my life.
Been alive 53 years now and been with the same comp'ny for 31 of 'em.
Yet all I got to my name is a big-ass truck and a brokedown friggin' jeep.
How can that be???
Ironic'ly enuf ... on this very mornin' ... I just stumbled upon the answer.
Happy Belated Birthday Kowboy!
Success in Life is defined by you alone.
Happy Trails!
Nick
Success in Life is defined by you alone.
Happy Trails!
Nick
The Sheer Nightgown
A husband walks into 'Victoria's Secret' to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.
He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price… the more sheer, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'
She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'
He never heard the shot.
Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.
A husband walks into 'Victoria's Secret' to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.
He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price… the more sheer, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'
She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'
He never heard the shot.
Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.
...
A couple with money problems decide to turn to the oldest profession to help alleviate their financial circumstances. They drive downtown and the husband parks the car in an alley. He tells his wife if she has any questions or concerns he'll be close by.
After a few minutes on the street, the wife goes into the alley with her first question: how much should I ask? After a moment's pondering, the husband says $100.00. The wife goes back out to the street.
A few minutes later a car pulls up and a man inquires about her services. She states the price, to which he replies he only has $30.00.
She tells him to wait a minute, and she goes back to the alley to consult with her husband again. He says she should offer a blowjob for $30.
She returns to the street and gives her counteroffer, which the man accepts. He proceeds to pull out a huge shlong. She tells the man to wait another minute, and she returns to the alley a third time. This time however, she tells her husband: You need to loan this guy $70.00.
After a few minutes on the street, the wife goes into the alley with her first question: how much should I ask? After a moment's pondering, the husband says $100.00. The wife goes back out to the street.
A few minutes later a car pulls up and a man inquires about her services. She states the price, to which he replies he only has $30.00.
She tells him to wait a minute, and she goes back to the alley to consult with her husband again. He says she should offer a blowjob for $30.
She returns to the street and gives her counteroffer, which the man accepts. He proceeds to pull out a huge shlong. She tells the man to wait another minute, and she returns to the alley a third time. This time however, she tells her husband: You need to loan this guy $70.00.
....
I think I found a picture of Kowboy as a young-un!
I love that pic. I've had it on my phone for years. I show it to the bartenders to try to get them to stock Coors for me ev'ry time I get to a new project site.
It works quite well.
It works quite well.
Bad day for the driver.
Real bad day for the truck.
REALLY bad day for the horse.
Real bad day for the truck.
REALLY bad day for the horse.