A husband walks into 'Victoria's Secret' to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.
He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price… the more sheer, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'
She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'
A couple with money problems decide to turn to the oldest profession to help alleviate their financial circumstances. They drive downtown and the husband parks the car in an alley. He tells his wife if she has any questions or concerns he'll be close by.
After a few minutes on the street, the wife goes into the alley with her first question: how much should I ask? After a moment's pondering, the husband says $100.00. The wife goes back out to the street.
A few minutes later a car pulls up and a man inquires about her services. She states the price, to which he replies he only has $30.00.
She tells him to wait a minute, and she goes back to the alley to consult with her husband again. He says she should offer a blowjob for $30.
She returns to the street and gives her counteroffer, which the man accepts. He proceeds to pull out a huge shlong. She tells the man to wait another minute, and she returns to the alley a third time. This time however, she tells her husband: You need to loan this guy $70.00.