Monday Chuckle (1 Viewer)

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KOWBOY said:
An Englishman was holidaying in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. One day they were strolling along a nude beach when they noticed a naked Black local also strolling towards them.

The Black guy notices the white guy has '" WY" tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for? The white guy says .. Well when I get an erection it spells my girlfriends name " WENDY " , The surprised white guy sees that the Black guy also has " WY " tattooed on his penis and asks what it stands for?

The black guy says , well when I get an erection it spells " WELCOME TO THE BAHAMAS AND HAVE A NICE DAY " !!

:flamingo:
Click to expand...

I heard that one as "Welcome to Jamaica mon- have a nice day"
 
The Pay Raise

Our Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.

My wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

Maria: 'Well, Senora, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.'

Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband said so.'

Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'

Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband did.'

Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.'

Wife: (really furious now) 'Did my husband say that as well?'

Maria: 'No Senora...the gardener did.'

Wife: 'So how much do you want?'

:flamingo:
 
A weary business man checks into a hotel and makes a request of the hotel clerk, "I want the porn channel on my TV to be disabled". The clerk replies, "We only have regular porn, you dirty bastard".
 
My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her
food prepared for
her. She can eat whenever she wants,
24/7/365. Her meals are
provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr.
once a year for her
checkup, and again during the year if any medical
needs arise. For
this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of
her. She lives in
a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger
than she needs, but she
is not required to do any upkeep. If she
makes a mess, someone
else cleans it up. She has her choice of
luxurious places to
sleep. She receives these accommodations
absolutely free. She
is living like a queen, and has absolutely no
expenses whatsoever.
All of her costs are picked up by others who go out
and earn a living
every day. I was just thinking about all this,
and suddenly it hit
me like a brick in the head, Holy s***, my dog
is a
democrat!
 
Now... if we could just get the police to make folks neuter their democrats.
;)
Nick


nuclearlemon said:
My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her
food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are
provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of
her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she
is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of
luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out
and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy s***, my dog is a democrat!
Click to expand...
 
Green Lantern said:
Now... if we could just get the police to make folks neuter their democrats.
;)
Nick
Click to expand...


mine are all neutered.:D


tiger's got a new product to endorse...here's the ad
tiger.jpg
 
Yeah... fixing my dogs was easy.
Everytime I try to fix the democrats around here I can't find any cajones on 'em to cut.
;)
Nick


nuclearlemon said:
just the dogs (and cats), i wish my democrats were....
Click to expand...
 
Green Lantern said:
Yeah... fixing my dogs was easy.
Everytime I try to fix the democrats around here I can't find any cajones on 'em to cut.
;)
Nick
Click to expand...

I owe you a :beer: for that one!

:clap:
 
Guess who's been sober for almost 90 days?





















0D7394311.gif
 
YES!!!!
 
You just cant make this stuff up: Frozen Al Gore

 
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Mexican and a Canadian woodpecker

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, Tiger Woods was right when he said, “your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.”
 
AWESOME!!!!!! Reckon they gave him a 90 day coin?
 
s*** My Dad Says
 
if they photoshopped out the flopping lap belt ends, it would make it easier to imaging the kind of butt puckering required to keep from flying off the atv...:hmm:
 
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