Some of those charts are based on old spec/tech. AAMCO, Jasper and TCI love to tell people that they need new components based on that guidance. What is good for a Slimjim, TH400 or 4L80E running Dexron/Mercon fluids is not necessarily good for modern Toyotas.
That said...neither myself nor anyone in my extended family going back two generations has ever had a transmission fail in any vehicle we have owned. I think it really comes down to careful maintenance and some luck.
Edited: Not to take away from your suggestions but the GX has built-in safeguards as
@Acrad has mentioned. The vehicle will let you know before you are in really bad shape. Selecting the correct gear and speed for the load will almost always keep you out of trouble.
I'm going with luck
Put 120K on early 90's Dodge Dakota and "only" went through 2 trannies. They were notorious for eating trannies as well as Dodge/Chrysler/Plymouth minivans back then. Got tired of the constant repair on the Dakota. Common saying on the Dakota board was at least they are easy to work on.
Had more than 100K on a Nissan truck without any issues back when they first came out right after they transitioned from Datsun to Nissan. No model number just Nissan truck. So I bought an Xterra my experiment with American vehicles was over. Found out about the SMOD Strawberry Milkshake of Death from leaking ATF and engine coolant so kept an eye on it. One day the overflow tank was pink so I traded it in on a new second gen Tacoma. 11 years no real issues.
FJ55 in the 70's and 80's no real problems, it had issues like all vehicles back then but it kept running. S10 did as well although paint peeled off it in sheets LOL.
Youngest son first vehicle 17-18 years ago was a second gen T4R with 130K on it. Owned and maintained by a lady at work that worked in maintenance. He got ~12K out of it before the transmission went.
Toyota has had some issues with transmissions over the years. Third (AKA Turd Gen) Tacoma's are a prime example. Friend has one with the typical TC shudder. Solution was to add a can of shudder fix
Never had to work on vehicle transmissions but did on ships main engine double-helical, locked train, articulated double reduction gear assembly's.
The hydrodynamic lubrication oil wedge prevents the teeth from actually contacting the other set of teeth. Bearings, turbines, pumps, heat exchanges, a lot of machinery crammed in a tiny space that I lived in at least 16-18 hours a day. The plant has a sound and feel to it much like a living being that you are always aware of. And can tell when things are good, or going bad.
For most of 20 years was someplace near the equator normally off the cost of some damn sandbox. But a few one off excursions to the Bering and Norwegian seas where air and water temps were 20-30 degrees cooler. The whole plant purred like a kitten in the cooler temps, most all machinery casualties were in the warmer temps.
You will often hear that heat kills transmissions for a reason. Which is why in the PXXX code fix thread one of the first things I picked up on was the geographic location of where most people lived that were having failures. Of course towing and stop and go traffic in some city will also do the same thing, generate heat. Someone on here only got 80K out of his GX on here
before the tranny went, he lives in Arizona.
A Hayden cooler is a lot cheaper than a new tranny but you can have too much of a good thing. There are minimums that must be met as well which is why I went with a TStat Hayden. With the possibility of quite a few other issues it is all a roll of the dice in the end. We can try our best to minimize the chances of failure across the board, but in the end the roll of the dice have a bit to do with it as well.
