It sounds like your use of it is appropriate. The most reasonable non techy answer was probably my first - I'll paraphrase
I actually use it correctly? Quite by accident?
Wow.
I run CDL off on the hwy in ice and snow. Steers much better. When you lock the CDL the vehicle is going to 'push' in corners - as in it will want to keep going straight. If it is slick enough that you can't get going, like your Katrinia experience, that's the right time to use CDL. And if you are in slippery enough conditions to use the CDL, you shouldn't be running at highway speeds.
Since last night's post, I had the opportunity to do a bit of experimentation on our icy and snowy roads in the wee hours. Had to take my 18-yr-old foster son to the hospital emergency room. Took the opportunity to test out driving conditions and my FJ80's handling with playing a bit with the CDL switch on and off, 'feeling' it, and taking mental notes.
The road conditions: Urban city streets with minimal amount of plowing done (and none as recent as the latest snowfall), no salt or sand, and it was still snowing. It was all hard ice with fresh powder falling on it. Very slick conditions.
Drove no more than about 25mph speed. Maybe a tad more on Central Avenue. (a major street here)
On straight street (lights all out/non-working, so no stopping, but slowed at each block to see if any vehicles about to try to enter intersections), I preferred the handling of my 80 with the CDL on. By far.
Tried making on right-hand and one left-hand turn with CDL on. After the right turn, I decided I didn't like turning with the CDL on AT ALL. (but gave it one more CAREFUL try on a left turn, anyway, for experimentation purposes)
After that, I hit the switch (off for turns, on for straight driving).
The one time I did have to come to full stop (to let a police B&W cross Central Ave ahead of me), CDL was engaged. Had little trouble getting started right off. (unlike the idiot in a Ram next to me, who spun one of his rear wheels, and spun his pick-up right around by about 70 degrees.

)
Soft touch on the gas pedal, dude
If you still have your factory owners manual - it should say when to use it and when not to, and I'm actually quite curious as to what it says. Toyota made the deision on post '93 trucks for us. The decision they made was that if you need the traction of CDL, you shouldn't be going any faster than you can in lowrange - as that's the only time the CDL is enguaged on post '93 trucks unless you modify it from the way the dealer delivered it.
Y'know... think I'll go on out to the garage, and grab the manual... and read. I'll be back shortly to post what it says.