See answers below in blue:
So I moved some of the dielectric grease the PO put on the diag terminal, and can see the contacts better. I get 12v at Fp when jumped to +B.
I get 10 volts at the pump with +B - Fp jumped and cranking both, despite the "homemade" splice of wires right before the fuel pump connector:
That sounds right. Not sure why there's a splice point there. Possibly an old repair?
So I did, and it came out alright... My EGR is now very clean.

And it comes out of the FPR return line, too, when cranking.
Then we know the FP is working and you have fuel to the rail. We move on.
So, this fuel line looks kinked to me:
Yea, that doesn't look right. Someone yanked on that line.
But I didn't do that, and the truck drove right up until I pulled the head last year.
So... Is it just not enough fuel... Is it old fuel... Is it the FPR?
Probably not.
Although... I don't see dots/a mark on the flexplate when the distributor is pointing at the #1 plug wire, but I was able to adjust valve lash, so that means I'm not out 180 degrees off on the distributor, right?
Because it's damn near impossible to see the dots on the flexplate on the 3FE through that stupid little window, you can open the access panel at the bottom of the bellhousing. Rotate the crank until you can clearly see the dots. Clean with a solvent and fill in the dots with white nail polish. This makes it 100 times easier to see through that stupid little window when trying to set timing.
And yes, it sounds like you're 180 out.