My dang unit's too friggin' short ... (3 Viewers)

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'Bout 10 miles or so put me on a coupla old paved roads that took me on into Loma. Reckon cost me coupla hours easy. But good stuff to be sure.

Hwy 139 outta Loma put me on a damned impressive mountain pass. 25 mph limit with 15 mph turns. Helluva long, hard pull in 3rd gear. Hemi never got over 200 degrees. Took me to Rangely and then an all mighty tailwind hittin' on the square ass of the Shaggin' Wagon blew me right into Steamboat Springs. 'Nother hard 4th gear pull over Rabbit Ears Pass.

Last half hour was pretty chilly drive but wanted another full topless day so I hugged the steerin' wheel to get some heat.

Got 2516.8 miles on the odometer when I got to the Stockman Bar in Walden, CO.

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All them years I lived in Cheyenne and made the run to Moab, I ain't never failed to stop at the Stockman in either direction. It's a good bar. Locals always recognize my jeep and welcome me. The year it went from orange to yella kinda threw 'em a curveball. I'm here quite a few hours later than my normal run. But they still got beer for sale.

It's been a good day.
 
So after a 6-pack and updatin’ this here thread, I left the Stockman Bar and eased on north. ‘Bout 15 miles is the North Sand Hills Recreation Area where I knew I could camp. So I did. Lots of smoke in the area and an eerie glow up on the mountain where it was burnin’ the **** up. Sad deal for sure.

2531.8 on the odometer. Another day without the top. Another day off the Interstates. That's a win.


DAY 9

Woke up to a smokey, cool, crisp mornin' but nice and calm. Fresh coffee and pancakes and sausage were in order.

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Coupla thangs I need to update here.

Somewheres on the Top of the World trail, the ol' sphincter muscle evidently done squeezed tight and rejected the black butt-plug I was usin' for a gas cap.

And done occasion'ly got me some kinda powerful clunk when engagin' the clutch for 1st and 2nd gear. Not too often, but violent. Reckon clutch, tranny, or transfer case sorta deal. Concerned me enough that I thought better have my good friend Bob Levenhagen take a peek to see if'n I'm gonna die. So a slight detour to Cheyenne where he kindly said he'd meet me at the shop.
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Knew for a fact t was gonna be a bit chilly goin' over the passes. Thought 'bout keepin' the top on (I close it up at night). But **** it ... time to Cowboy up buttercup. So threw on a heavy sweater, an outer shell, and a knit cap. Along with my Kuhl shorts and Teva sandals ... it was a good look for me.

Please remember Rule #1: Wherever you are ... whatever you're doin' ... you GOT to look good!
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Also added a lil' whiskey to my coffee to help keep me warm.
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Got up 'round the Wyomin' border and it was a ****in' mess. Smoke so thick it was hard to see the road. Eyes burnin'. All manner of Law Enforcement all over the place. Assume tryin' to enforce mandatory evacuation orders. Done camped a bunch in them woods. Real heart breaker.
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Detour to Cheyenne cost me dearly. Weren't sure if'n a fella could climb outta Laramie to the top of the pass without takin' I-80. Phone said I could, so off I went. And came to a locked gate for private property. ****. So had to backtrack and then take I-80 5.5 miles to the top. FAIIL.

Got to TNT Customs and Bob crawled under the ****er and poked, prodded, and pryed and proceeded to venture it weren't gonna kill me. Course the clutch wouldn't act up while I was there. The funny color picture is from the smoke. Actually had ash comin' down like snow.

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So time to head north outta this s*** and into some clear air ... and hit my ol' bar-hoppin' route. Gonna sure 'nough be a heavy drinkin' day today.
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Cleared Cheyenne and was forced to recall an ol' Hal Ketchum trucker song that said ya knew when you was in Wyomin' by the wind. And it was poundin' me. 50 - 60 right into my port side. Couldn't keep a hat or my sunglasses on my head. Musta looked like a ****in' bobble-head doll behind the wheel. An insane hour drive up the Emporium in Hawk Springs. Owner was out on the sheltered patio cookin' steaks on the grill when he saw me drive up. Face bright red from the wind burn. As always, he asked how my drive up was. I told 'im a bit breezy. He said reckon so. It's just a Wyomin' thang. We went inside and I told 'im the place looked like s***. He said there was a tee-vee restaurant show there last week and ****ed it all up. But he got 10 grand wortha free s*** outta the deal and was fixin' to start movin' back in all his cool s*** they took out.

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Coolest thang 'bout Hawk Springs, Wyomin' is that even though they only got 50 folks livin' there, they got a great bar on each end of town. On the north side is the Longbranch.

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As always, tried to get the owner to sell me the Coors sign hangin' in the s***ter to add to my collection. And as always, he refused. But he always let's me drive 'cross the scales …

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Whole shootin' match came in at 8980 lbs. 'Bout 3 hun'erd more than I was expectin'. No problem ... just like haulin' 'round a fat chick.
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Then up to Torrington where ya get a 2-fer. One parkin' spot and two bars ... the Broncho Bar and the Mint bar.

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And down the road to the Bitch's Corner Bar in Lingle.

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New owners so didn't know what a drinkin' ****in' legend I am. And they took down all the pictures of the buck-ass nekkid women that were in the s***ter. So only one beer and left. Wish 'em luck.

Down the road to Ft. Laramie to a real bar …

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And into Guernsey for another 2-fer. Kelley's Bar for beer and then Ben's Bar 'cross the street for beer and pizza.

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Ain't nothin' quite like scarfin' down a meat-lovers pizza with a good drunk on.

Ease on into the Guernsey State Park well after dark to settle down for the night.

No top. 2771.0 on the odometer.
 
DAY 10.


Woke up bright-eyed and early to a cold, windy, rainy mornin' in my favorite State Park. Seen blue skies to the north so headed that way. And didn't even get a ****in' pic of the campin' spot. Fail.

And believe my topless days are over. Was hopin' to get all the way to Moab but then ended up hangin' in there for a coupla bonus days. So that's some good s***.

Rode on up to Lusk and stopped for gas and ate the last 3 slices of my cold pizza. Phone told me to go straight and cut through Nebraska. Who the **** wants to drive through Nebraska?? So alternate route headed me north. Still in Wyomin' and winds still howlin'. Then turned east and hit the border. Winds so strong I didn't even wanna get outta the jeep for the tourist pic …

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And the winds just kept howlin'. Somebody forgot to tell 'em I was in South Dakota now. Eased on 'round the edge of the Black Hills on up towards Rapid City. But there's an Interstate there and I done had my 5.5 mile fill of them. Phone sent me on another wild goose chase. That took me right through the Badlands National Park for **** sakes …

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Ain't never been there and don't see no reason to go back.

But stayed on the backroads and made it to my destination for the trip ... Kadoka, South-****in'-Dakota.

Where I'm sittin' in this here ancient laundromat at the Kadoka Kampground updatin' this here thread. And drinkin' beer. And doin' laundry. Brought 8 days wortha clothes ... and this is day 10. Must be that new math bull****. Wash and dry one load for a buck 75. Total. Had to run my extension cord over to the one available outlet. Least I'm outta the ****in' wind.

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But here's the crownin' ****in' jewel of this most-****in'-excellent adventure …

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Paid 30 bucks for this here RV spot. Extremely nice young lady in the office wrote me out a receipt for the night showin' my new address issued by Americas Mailbox in Box Elder, SD. The receipt for the night stay within the state borders qualifies me as a resident of the state.

OUT-****IN'-STANDIN'!!

3069.4 miles on the odometer.

But I didn't exactly take the shortest route.
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DAY 11 Monday, 28 Sept.

Woke up to a chilly mornin’ and put on long britches, shoes, and socks for the first time.

Kadoka, SD ain’t much. Dried up, boarded up, closed up, and mostly outta bid’ness. I’m sure the campground, like the rest of the town, was prob’ly right nice 50 years ago. Today … not so much. So why am I here you ask? ‘Cause this here s***ty lil’ place is the county seat of Jackson County. So it has a courthouse. And a drivers license office. Flu bug had ‘em all closed down for a while and Rapid City is now appointment only. And booked into November. This place is first come, first serve.

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Which is why I was in their parkin’ lot at 0700. Employees showed up at 0755 and I went in at 0800. Gave the extremely nice lady all the forms she told me I needed when I talked to her on the phone last week. Filled out an application, passed the eye exam, got my picture took, and paid 28 bucks. Walked out at 0815 with my temporary SD drivers license. (Regular one arrives in 4 – 6 weeks) That’s why the **** I came to Kadoka, SD.

Didn’t wanna go back thru the Badlands National Park again so tried another route. Phone took me on all manner of back gravel roads.

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A year in the Florida sunshine and the recent high winds done trashed my Trasharoo …

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From what I’ve seen of my new home state, the Black Hills are beautiful and the Badlands are interestin’. As for the rest …

well …

the rest just looks like ****in’ Nebraska.
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Stopped by Box Elder on my way back to take a picture of my new residence …

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(Just to get caught up, I’ve added 2 quarts of oil since last reported out and I’m pretty sure my clunkin’ is the clutch. And it sure as s*** ain’t gettin’ no better.)
 
Then it was right thru Rapid City and into the Black Hills. Figured a celebration was in order so went right to my favorite bar in the area … the Moonshine Gulch Saloon in Rochford.

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And they were closed. One of the 8 residents was out on his porch and told me the owner went to town and would prob’ly open up later. That was ‘round 1445. Beautiful place so I hung out. At 1800, I figured it was a no-go and mize well go find me a camp spot.

And the jeep wouldn’t start. Turn the key one notch and ev’rythang fired up fine. But then turnin’ the key further to start and it didn’t do s***. Cell phone had a circle with a slash thru it where the signal strength usually is. Started walkin’ ‘round to see if I could get a signal and seen a pay phone. Don’t even remember the last pay phone I’ve seen.

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Assumed it was just a relic, but the ****in’ thang had a dial tone! 25 cents a minute. I had me 9 quarters left over from my laundry and started chunkin’ ‘em in there. Hello Bob. I’m ****ed up like a rat in Rochford. Send help.

Proceeded to check wires and fuses and s***, but no go. All I could do.

3238.8 miles on the odometer … and dead in the water. But it beats bein’ parked in a truck stop next to the train tracks.
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So commenced to drinkin’. Right in the middle of the road. With the town cat. He was a good listener.

Proves for a damn fact all a fella needs is pussy and beer.

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Down to my 7th and final beer ‘bout 2100 when the bar lights came on. I’m saved … they got more beer. Owner’s son was prob’ly ‘bout 50 or so and a firefighter. Late on into the night I learned a helluva lot ‘bout his theories on forest management and why ev’rythang’s burnin’ up.

Called it quits and crawled into my bed.

By a stroke of luck, the trailer was pointed lil’ uphill. Since your feet extend under the interior cabinets, heads gotta be at the bow.

Day started high and ended low. Least I never made it to my camp spot and had to hike out.

Wonder what tomorrow will bring …
 
DAY 12 Tuesday, 29 Sept.

Woke up to an absolutely beautiful mornin’. Just ‘cause I’m stranded don’t mean I gotta starve. Fresh coffee, milk, and juice with sausage, egg, and cheese burritos. Was close to 0800 by the time I cooked, ate, and cleaned up.

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Pulled up a chair on the front porch of the saloon and set there like a lazy ol’ dog.

Come ‘bout 1100, fella named Justin Millard showed up and said Bob had sent ‘im.
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Great thang ‘bout Bob Levenhagen is he knows ev’rybody in these parts and ev’rybody knows him.

Told Justin ev’rythang I had done checked and told ‘im the key felt ‘mushy’. I believe the steerin’ column is ****ed up somehow. He done a lot of checkin’ and tore into a lotta s*** and agreed with me. Long story short … and not burdenin’ this story down with a lot of tech … it is ****ed. The key makes a rod move that then does some magical electrical stuff to start the engine. My rod ain’t doin’ right. He figured out he could turn the key on and manually move the rod to start the engine. Good enough for me By Gawd. ‘Bout 1300 I followed ‘im back to his shop, JDM Customs, in Lead.

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Where he made short work of alterin’ a screwdriver into this here special service tool … or SST as we like to say in the bid’ness.

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So here’s the new Standard Procedure for startin’ my ****in’ jeep.
  1. Set parkin’ brake.
  2. Ensure transmission is in Neutral. This is CRITICAL since my jeep will start in gear.
  3. Turn key to the mushy start position.
  4. Shine flashlight under dash and insert SST into groove on rod.
  5. Pull towards the steerin’ wheel.

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Ain’t that how ev’rybody starts their jeep??
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So paid in cash and thanked ‘im mightily for gettin’ me out of one helluva bind. If’n y’all are in need of help in the Black Hills, please look ‘im up. We need to support the folks that support us.

So since I was in town, I restocked on groceries, beer, and gas. And headed back to try to get to the camp spot I was tryin’ for yesterday. Which took me past the Moonshine Gulch Saloon. So had to stop for a beer.

Then was drivin’ down a smooth gravel road at ‘bout 25 mph just drinkin’ beer and enjoyin’ the scenery when all hell broke loose. Tremendous bang and a violent shutter. I stopped as fast as I could. And immediately looked at my cell phone to see if’n I had any service. Which I did have a lil’. It was enough. Hello Justin. I’m ****ed up like a rat on the road to Deerfield Lake. Come help.

This 9/16” bolt sheared in 2 right in the middle of the nut. Damndest thang I ever seen.

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That happens to be the bolt that's used to hold the front of the driver’s side lower link to my frame.

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Without that particular bolt holdin’ the lower link to the frame, the axle tends to shift backwards.

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Can you even imagine this at 70 mph on the highway? ****in’ scarey.
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I crawled under it and amazin'ly enough, didn’t really appear to be no damage. Not even to my crazy rear fender bodywork. I basic’ly just needed some help and another ****in’ bolt. Which is what I told Justin when I called.
 
Took ‘im ‘bout an hour to get to me and we proceeded to hook up my winch line to pull the axle forward.

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Worked great but did cost me a few feet of winch rope.

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Bolt went in surprisingly easy and all set yet again. Justin checked all the other link bolts while he was under there and they were fine.

So paid in cash and thanked ‘im mightily for getting’ me out of one helluva bind. If’n y’all are in need of help in the Black Hills, please look ‘im up. We need to support the folks that support us.
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Within an hour or so I was back on the road to try to find my camp spot.

Which I did.

And I was thankful.

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3296.5 on the odometer.
 
Broken key switch linkage and suspension parts in the same week! Good think you got all that breakage out of the way while help is somewhat near. Justin is a hero. Cheers!
 
Breaking protocol by posting instead of reading/laughing/liking:

Why does that crate Hemi use so much oil? Leaking or burning?

Adding Kowboy’s Jeep to nightly prayers.
 
Broken key switch linkage and suspension parts in the same week! Good think you got all that breakage out of the way while help is somewhat near. Justin is a hero. Cheers!

Real good help for sure.

Why does that crate Hemi use so much oil? Leaking or burning?

She burns it. Slap worn out I'm afraid. This is meant to be the engine's final journey.


DAY 13 Wednesday, 30 Sept.

Woke up to grey, cloudy skies and cold temps. But no wind. So coffee, sausage links, and scrambled eggs. If’n you haven’t noticed yet … I do love my breakfast.

After camp was all squared away, walked up to some mines that Justin had told me ‘bout.

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Pretty cool. They went in 50 yds or so and all intertwined. I was surprised how tall they were tho. Musta been 25 or 30 feet. Most ol’ mine shafts I been in are like 6 or 8’. Once the greedy, white men found gold in these hills, it was all over for the in’juns … treaty or not.

Added ½ quart of oil and then eased on down whole buncha roads to Hill City. I’ve always liked Hill City. Touristy for sure … but not near as cheesy as Deadwood for example. Some high-end quaint lil’ shops for browsin’ stuff I can’t afford. Got all caught up on my computer s*** since I had cell coverage. And grabbed a beer at the Mangy Moose Saloon.

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Sun done broke out while I was in town and that sure improved my outlook.

Then just hit the gravel roads again. Drinkin’ beer in 2nd gear ... that’s my motto.

The Black Hills are just an incredible, beautiful, unmolested forest. Just a few fires over the years and since they’re isolated from other forests, they ain’t got none of them ****in’ beetle bugs that are eatin’ up the trees in Colorado and Wyomin’. I could drive thru these hills all my life. In fact, hope to do just that and retire here someday.

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The key to findin’ a good campin’ spot in a National Forest is to just keep gettin’ yourself on progressively smaller and smaller roads.

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Then when there basic’ly ain’t no more road … you camp.

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No babblin’ brook to put me to sleep here … but sure ‘nough peaceful. When the sun went down over the trees, it got damned chilly. Reckon a year in Florida done thinned out my blood. No problem. Just climb in the ol’ Shaggin’ Wagon. Warm and secure. Drink some beer, crank up some tunes, and get caught up typin’ this journal and doin’ some readin’. Hit the blast furnace occasion’ly to cut the chill. Life is good.

Meanwhile …

Got no doubt that by now all you mechanical ****in’ geniuses done figured out ain’t nothin’ wrong with my clutch. All the beatin’ and bangin’ was that rear link tryin’ to spit out that bolt. That’s why I ain’t no mechanic. I don’t fix ‘em … I just drive ‘em.

Not a totally ****ed-up free day tho.

Ain’t got no more music comin’ from the jeep speakers. Maybe the dust got to ‘em. EXTREMELY dusty up here. Damn shame … I do love my music.

And the shortest lever of the three for the Atlas … the doubler box … done slipped outta High and into Neutral today. Twice. No biggie, just pull over and ease it back into High. Kinda strange tho for sure.

3353.4 on the odometer.
 
DAY 14 Thursday, 01 Oct.

Woke up and it was ****in’ cold.

Don’t run the furnace all night ‘cause even on the lowest settin’, it’s just too hot. Slept like a baby under all my beddin’ but hit the furnace right off the bat when my eyes opened. That’s when I seen the ice on the inside of my trailer door frames …


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Put on all the clothes I had and started the coffee goin’. Sun ain’t cleared the trees yet and there’s a heavy frost on ev’rythang. Ain’t no way I was cookin’ breakfast. Grabbed a coupla really cold Pop-Tarts and took out my ½ gallon of milk from the fridge. Set the milk on the counter and it was freezin’ as I was eatin’ my Pop-Tarts. Fridge was actu’ly keepin’ the milk warm … not cold.

Went to fire up the jeep. Utilizin’ my SST as per the SOP, she fired right off.

And I sure was thankful. Reckon ‘bout 5 miles in and don’t care none for walkin’ no more.

Then just started easin’ on out with the fact’ry heater goin’ full blast. Just love this country. Only gold I was lookin’ for is them leaves on the Aspen trees.


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Just followed roads headin’ north. Most of the roads and trails seemed to have been numbered and seems like it woulda been pretty easy to navigate if’n a fella had a map. ‘Course I didn’t. But the mornin’ sun on my starboard meant I was headin’ north and I’d hit pavement at some point. Which I did at Cheyenne Crossing and then went down the beautiful Spearfish Canyon into Spearfish, SD.

And then headed to Wyomin’. Hung out a bit at the Welcome Center to get all my bills paid. 1st of the month ya know. And on into Sundance to the Dime Horseshoe Bar. It’s a really good bar.

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And then back up into the Black Hills … the Wyomin’ version. That’s correct … the Black Hills actu’ly extend into Wyomin’ a bit. Lil’ trivia for your next party.


Excuse me sir … can I get a room with a view please?

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From what I gathered, campfires and charcoal grills were both illegal in the SD Black Hills but the grills were legal on the Wyomin’ side … I think.

So got out my newest piece of gear …

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Which then unfolds into this …

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So I could cook this …

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That there's gourmet food for a proper redneck. Outstandin'!
 
I ain’t sure how in the **** I didn’t freeze up my trailer's water system last night. Tank’s gotta right nice skid plate to protect from the rocks but not a damn thang to protect from the cold. Checked the weather forecast when I was at the bar and said 28 for Sundance. And I was quite a bit above that. So best winterize the thang to avoid damage. But mize well take a shower first. Fortunate for y'all I didn’t take a selfie …


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Believe that was the longest shower I’ve ever took in my life. And it was good. Then went ahead and drained the tank and winterized the trailer …


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Filled a few water bottles first and put ‘em in the fridge to keep ‘em warm.

Sun got low and it got cold quick so in the trailer I went.

A great day.

3436.2 on the odometer.
 
DAY 15 Friday, 02 Oct.

Weathermen ain’t wortha ****.

It was warmer this mornin’ when I got up then it was when I went to bed. But the price ya pay for the room with the view in Wyomin’ is the wind. So no breakfast. Fiddled ‘round camp tho enjoyin’ the views ‘till ‘bout 0900. Then it was pop open a beer … and grab second gear.

The Warren Peak Lookout is badass. Folks can climb up for the view if’n they take the notion. I been up there before and passed this time due to the winds. Fella can see forever from up there but I still ain’t figured out how to take a decent pic of forever.


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Coupla drunk cowboys at the Dime Horseshoe Bar yesterday provided some excellent conversation and entertainment. They claimed a fella could take dirt roads all the way to the Devil’s Tower. That’s got my name all over it. I asked for details and they commenced to bickerin’ like an ol’ married couple. They couldn’t agree on any of the roads to actu’ly accomplish the feat. I took what notes I could.

Once ya pass the lookout tower, the road turns to dirt. And none of them road numbers them cowboys gave me matched a ****in’ thang. Oh well … need to head northwest. So I did. And a coupla miles later I laughed my ass off.

‘Tween the two of them drunk bastards, neither one of ‘em could muster a clear enough thought to say just go to the big-ass sign and turn left and then drive to the Devil’s Tower …


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That sure was a pretty drive. Seen a buttload of lil’ deer. ‘Bout the size of a decent dog and had great big tails. And several lil’ herds of wild turkeys. But the top prize was the perfect elevation and temperature for the Aspens to be turnin’.

There’s gold in them thar hills!

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Figured it’s ‘bout time to start headin’ south back towards Cheyenne. Route took me to Upton. Ain’t never been to Upton. But there’s a bar there. And it’s a good one.

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Then headed to Newcastle. Needed to stop for gas and got assaulted by some local wheelers wantin’ the nickel tour of my rig. Which I did as I popped open ‘nother beer.

Leavin’ town, I seen a sign that said next services was 81 miles. What the ****?? Been drinkin’ since 0900 and now I’m supposed to just stop? For 81 ****in’ miles?? No way. Which is exactly why I maintain my emergency lil’ cooler in the passenger seat. 3 beers and 81 miles later, I done arrived at the next available services … the Silver Dollar Bar in Lusk. They serve beer ... and it’s a good bar.

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Then it was back down the road to Guernsey for a few beers at Kelley’s and then ‘cross the street to Ben’s for a few more and another meat lovers pizza.

And into my Designated Drunk Spot at the Guernsey State Park.

3688.6 on the odometer.
 

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