Hmmm. You probably set up the 4.88 not long ago, in comparison to a "from the factory" gearset where there is a bit more slop in the bearings, and I suspect the two carrier bearing adjustment hubs were probably tighter on yours.
The second diff was one I grabbed off the mud classifieds, and other than a quick look over I never checked backlash with a dial indicator or preloads.
Im starting to think keeping your carrier bearings at least as tight as spec will help alot.
I'm certainly no gear expert, but what I learned from the mini-truck crowd is that carrier bearing preload is essential to getting diffs to survive in situations they weren't intended for.
For example, I believe factory spec for carrier bearing preload on an 8" is 90ft-lbs and the hardcore guys are running 200ft-lbs. They are also reducing the backlash from the factory spec of .08 to .04 or so. These changes seem to make all the difference.
I would suggest taking a read through a few diff builds on the following website. Zuk is well known for making Toy diffs live long abusive lives
www.gearinstalls.com