I still vote used ecu, especially if they’ll guarantee it works. It’s 1/3 the cost. Those parts rarely fail (I’d say never but I guess this scenario would prove me wrong). But I can’t imagine if a refurbished one worked that it wouldn’t last you for the rest of the life of your truck unless you have something shorting it out, in which case a new ECU would likely die too).
I'm leaning going with the reman PCM / ECM.
Also, to everyone: your input / thoughts have truly been invaluable. As the troubleshooting to find the root cause took 2+ months and various potential failure points were tested & re-tested, with potential failure points being ruled out one by one in a painstaking tedious process... I totally get that some of the potential failure items / parts that have already been ruled out in this long, winding journey of a months-long post & saga got lost / overlooked / forgotten in this Tolstoy-esque thread such that a common refrain remains 'just go back to the OEM pan & Toyota WS ATF fluid.'
Prologue on Toyota WS vs. all others & the analogy to 20-weight oil vs. 30-weight oil.
Dozens / hundreds of others on other threads-- on ih8mud and multiple other forums / sites-- have i) used alternate ATF fluid from multiple non-Toyota OEM manufacturers with as-good-or-better specs than the WS fluid & reported zero issues (up to and including the Amsoil 'Signature Series' 100% synthetic fuel efficient variety I'm using now), so I'm ruling that out as having anything to do with anything & ii) the failure point has now been definitively pinpointed to internal electricals of a now-crapped out PCM / ECM.
Don't want to argue on this specific point re: alternate ATF fluids to use (or not) in the 200 series: for those using the Toyota WS... awesome, it is a great ATF! In sum & I may just be the a******... but it won't be productive to go down the rabbit trail of arguing the specific point of 'if you don't use Toyota WS ATF, your rig will blow up within 20 minutes of turning on the ignition,' as I didn't willy-nilly switch to the Amsoil ATF without going deep into the weeds on the SDS / data sheets on a host of compatible ATF fluids & reading extensive reviews from those who've used it (and others) & had great results.
But I'll use another critically-important fluid by analogy to illustrate why I don't just blindly follow OEM recommendations: consider motor oil-- a 20 weight oil is only recommended in the gasser for the 200 series in two and only two countries among the dozens of countries in which the 200 series is imported & sold. Those 2 outliers: the U.S. & Canada.
For the rest of the world (literally) and across dozens of other countries into which the 200-series is imported & sold, for the exact same configuration / engine, a 30w oil (0 or 5 or 10, depending on climate) is recommended in 90%+ of all countries in which the 200-series is sold. 90%+. Two and only two countries-- the U.S. & Canada-- have a 20 weight oil recommended. And a few outliers recommend 40 weight oil. All for exactly the same petrol engine.
Since I've owned my 200-series & knowing this... I've been running a 5w-30 & it immediately ran quieter & in the long run am confident going with the 30 weight vs. the recommended 20 weight will = a longer engine life, all else being equal.
I'd love to hear someone--anyone-- explain to me how 20 weight oil is better for the longevity of the 200 series than a 30 weight oil, without resorting to 'well, that's just what the manual says, so that's what must be best!' I suspect I'll be waiting, oh, forever to hear a compelling case for 20 weight oil being the 'best' for the longevity of the engine 'just because the manual says so.' These are big, lumberous rigs & need an appropriate weight oil.
See, e.g., GM's very recent & very public sudden shift from most of its large truck & SUV line-up, initially recommending 0w-20 oil but, following a lot of catastrophic failures, switched to recommending 40 weight oil on those exact models post-production and after going thru the initial R&D process in developing those vehicles.
Wonder why?
This long aside isn't about motor oil, of course, but rather: I 100% default to mfg / OEM recommendations as a useful rule of thumb / go-to / heuristic (ATF included) if and only if I've not dug in and done a lot of research into alternatives & have done so in this case in opting to go with the Amsoil. And this isn't dunking on or implying that the Toyota WS ATF is crap-- far from it, it is awesome! But if the SDS data sheets indicate better specs-- even marginally better specs-- then I'm going to seriously consider using an alternative. Again, don't want to re-litigate this specific point narrowly re: ATF fluid as those with differing opinions... well, we can just agree to disagree & that's all good!