Major topic drift ahead...
Not even close to this one.....please don't quote and I'll delete later.
Had to unload and as good a place as any....
Within the first few hours of checking into the hospital, within initial week of diagnosis and day of PET scan, a parade of various support staff began cycling through the room, all presenting various services or programs to help the patients and families further educate or cope.
Considering the attitude of everyone on the floor, especially one young lady, who's purpose was to inform and engage the patients, I have no doubt there are angels, an army in her case, that stand guard and fight off every bad thought or emotion, since her heart was ten times the size of most, incredible being immersed in the arena of suffering she was.
Anyhow, she presented form after form, package after package of info and programs, one of which was for "Make a Wish" foundation, stating kids make their wish and volunteers make it happen.
I saw my daughter's eyes light up, so quickly explained that the program didn't apply to her, for the young lady to contradict "of course it does. It's apply-able (being key.

) from any kid who is fighting."
I didn't further until a few days later, when my daughter was discussing the form, myself trying to explain that it'd be best to wish for someone else to take her wish, since her condition was beatable....other's weren't, adding that, once she kicked it's ass, it'd be my pleasure to fulfill her request.
Last I thought about it, but she submitted the form within a few days of, and has been thinking about every since.
Being fourteen, having done without nothing within reason, her entire life and being told that all kid's are appIy-able (again, key) wish I had been more forceful denying her submittal, now frustrated that it was even presented, at all, since the adults are all aware of whom it caters to, and not intended for kids with her diagnoses, since she's the "cancer you'd pick if you could choose".
Unbeknownst to us, she emailed asking about, as instructed in an email she received from the foundation to do, wherein they reiterated that her condition wasn't life threatening, therefore no application should've been submitted.
Regardless the wish, the severity of her malady, the fact that we all knew that she wasn't eligible, being financially doable for us (has been a topic for many years), the reply crushed her.... It wasn't the right week for it.
She won't discuss with me, I don't press, but had expressed discontent about to my wife, and it seemed to further the depths of mini depression, her saying something along the lines of "they said this would be a blip, said it'd be forgotten, said this is the one you want, said to make a wish..... none of it was right.."
While she is spoiled, she's intelligent, so I don't know what she was thinking on the wish coming to fruition, but I'd give a year off my life to have known she was sending an email asking about, so I could somehow anonymously grant the wish, since so much seemed to be hanging on it at that moment in time, even though I know that it isn't the right thing to do....
Doesn't matter now that, if we said we we're going to do it, because it's not the actual wish, but something deeper we can't put our fingers on.
Sick about, because it's the ONE damn thing I could've done to potentially have changed her demeanor, and worth it, if only for a moment even.
I've always been one that learned the most about myself, when enduring life lessons, therefore have always thought the kids should learn a little bit (not like I did) similarly.
This is not the life lesson I would have ever imagined for her and sure as hell not one I needed.
I'm done.