Good but divergent advice so far, prob based on folks assumptions or how they ride.
My 2 cents
Your request about need vs wants implies this is not a 'cost not a factor' build. (If budget is unlimited, just drop it off at Slee and ask for one of everything. But post pictures).
"Overland" is sufficiently vague as to explain the diverging POVs.
- How are you getting there? If it is taking Forest Service or other dirt roads, minimal changes "needed." Stock suspension, tires, etc should be fine. Winch probably not necessary (until you start desiring to tackle tougher offeoading trails). If you "want to do some wheeling" and traverse tougher trails, rocks, etc, then start thinking about sliders and skids. Then suspension lift. lf you're planning a Pan-America trip, you probably aren't asking for our opinions and you know what you want!
- Where are you overlanding? Your profile says MA, so your use case in New England to the Mid-Atlantic is likely different from someone out west who may cover serious miles between gas stations, grocery stores, etc. My 2008 thinks it can go about 255 miles on a tank. Less off-road, but are you likely to cover say 150+ miles off-road after topping off? If not, you can defer an aux fuel tank. That said , I have contemplated the smaller one just for daily suburban driving since fillups are so frequent! Also "where" related, from pics of folks out in CO, UT, etc. it looks like the "campsites" can be really Rocky, so I can see why a RTT is a big benefit. IME in VA to MA, I haven't had a problem finding a decent spot to put down a ground tent.
- How long are you going to be away from Civilization? At your life stage (i.e., little ones), I would hazard a guess that you're going to be doing long weekends, maybe a week trip ? Perhaps more based on a "drive to a place, set up camp for a few days" model? Or maybe 2 stops? In which case the quick set up/tear down of RTT is not as important as in-camp convenience. Not 'gatekeeping', I just can't imagine any younglings would be too happy being seatbelted into a truck over rough roads for 8 hours a day for a week or more! I'm sure someone does it and their kids love it. But again, if that is you, you probably already know what you need.
So, assuming I heard you right and guessed the rest correctly, here are my thoughts.
- Minimal build to start. Stick with stock suspension. No steel bumpers or winch.
- With children, you WILL want side steps of some kind. I guess you could try it with stock side steps (especially if you plan on sticking to dirt roads and not off-road park obstacle trails). But they don't provide any real protection, and might end up damaging other panels. I'd consider steel step sliders. But usable for a step up into the truck, not an extremely high clearance version.
- Airing down to 15 or 20psi can make a big difference in traction and ride quality, so an air compressor is a must. I chose a Superflow MV-90 (IIRC) since I don't use it that often and it isn't adding weight to my daily. Also a LOT cheaper than OBA. But not as convenient, or as cool as a twin ARB. Get a tire patch kit while we are on the topic.
- Start with cooler if you are dipping toes in, for low $ and easy in/out. But I have yet to hear of anyone who thought buying a 12V fridge was a bad call. They can be taken out for DD. I don't have one, so grains of salt, but I concur with earlier comment about getting a standalone 12v battery pack. LiFePO4 chemistry. Unless you are doing this a LOT and for long durations, I'm not sure the hassle, cost, and weight of a 2nd battery system is worth it. Again, if I guessed wrong and you will get out a lot, it might be a good "nice to have".
- Get an REI Kingdom 6 tent. Prob the 'garage' add on. At their annual membership sales, can pick one up for $300. Get either the big REI full (queen?) Air mattress and bedding set for lux, or their 3" self inflating sleeping pads. RTT is cool but big $, big lbs up high, and little ones going up/down all night will get old.
- Scenario-appropriate recovery gear. MaxTrax, shovel probably are a good start. Plus the tire kit and air comp. Some comms, whether VHF/UHF amateur radio or sat phone up to you and how far in the boonies you'll get. And first aid kit.
- Recovery points. Less critical if you are on dirt roads and stay away from mud bogging. There is some debate about whether the stock ones are "legit" recovery points, vs shipping tie down points. Trail tailor, ARB, etc offer beefier ones for not too much$. You could probably get away with a hitch receiver recover point, like Factor55 or similar. Maybe this is a nice to have and not a must depending on your use case. (Obligatory "never ever recover via a tow ball or you will die" warning)
- Have a place for the kids to put their own trash in the back seat. Check out Blue Ridge Overland for that and some good products for organizing the kid's essentials.
Nice to have:
- Slightly larger, A/T tires without needing lift. Someone earlier had the range. Stock is 31.5" diam, 32.7" supposed to fit w/lift. Dunno how much above that works w stock. Warning if your kids are little, taller tires make it harder for them to get in and out. Maybe not much from stock to 32.5, but hitting 34 does, since it also means adding 2-3" suspension lift.
- Skid plates, depending on the roads/trails. Just for some insurance.
- Maybe a better roof rack depending on how much you store up top. (May be a must if you go RTT).
The rest is just buy what you need to enjoy the camping. Camp stove, table. Comfy chairs. Lanterns Awning probably less necessarsy in heavily-forested NE, esp if you have a tent the size and layout similar to REI Kingdom 6. Or bring one of the cheapish 10x10 freestanding ones. Can leave it set up at camp and not have to pack it up every time you want to drive.
Lift and suspension can be nice / luxury, but not a must, and arguably could negatively impact DD and overland ability (handling, ingress/egress, mileage?)
Anyhow, that's my thoughts based on some assumptions and deduction. Didn't intend to be this long, but writing this in my phone browser is a PITA so I'm not spending any more time trying to edit it! Esp because I could have guessed totally wrong .
Edit: I was assuming stock 18" wheels. If you are on 20" rims, you have less sidewall to play width for impact/ride, and I think less range to air down. In which case you might look into a set of 17" or 18" rims and A/T tires. And maybe keep stock rims and all season/highway tires for DD economy
