Hm. I've had luck repairing relays before. We could test your old one since it is apart?
I'm not sure what duties the original relay had, but the new one will simply close the connection between the glow plugs and the battery when a small current is applied to the small terminals. From diagram research, you might be able to either give the small switching current to the small post and 1)have the other small post grounded or 2) just ground the body.
I have a feeling the timer for how long this relay is closed is a part of another circuit controlling the switching voltage. Just need to find out how much current the timer likes, which I very much doubt originates from the glow plug current.
Also turned up some info on your new relay
http://www.ford-trucks.com/user_gallery/sizeimage.php?photoid=120458&.jpg=
http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p185/dhkent55/solenoid02.gif
Little more:
Both the relay master (trigger) circuit and the controller itself get12V key-on from the engine harness through a red wire that is attached to the stud where in the first pic there is already one red wire. The relay master circuit is completed and the slave (glowplugs power) circuit is triggered when the controller grounds the relay, it uses that white wire on the other small relay stud for that. To override the controller you take a long piece of wire and hook one end to that small relay stud with the white wire, then run that long wire into the cab and to a switch on the dash. The other terminal of that switch you connect to a good ground (steering column brace under the dash works good for that). What you're doing is creating a stand-alone ground path for the glowplugs relay - now when you flip the switch the relay trigger circuit is complete and glowplugs are powered through the factory high-current relay. Now, you can stop here and it will work just fine, but you'll notice something strage - when you glow the plugs manually your "Wait to Start"(WTS) light will not come on - plugs will be working but light will be off because the light is triggered by the controller alone. To remedy this you need to snip the blue controller wire right next to the controller body, add a ring terminal to the end of wire that's now just dangling there from the engine harness, and hook that one up to the same small stud on the relay where the white wire and the override switch wires are - as a result of this your WTS light will now work when the controller tells it to (factory setup), when you manually glow the plugs, AND during any afterglow cycle the controller may or may not enter every once in a while.
This is actually the system I run in my truck, it works like a charm - I can fire 'er up just fine on 3 dead plugs
P.S.if you want to totally disable the controller, and operate the plugs only manually - do everything aforementioned, but also disconnect the white wire from small stud on the relay, and tape its ring terminal off as a good measure.
Maybe something like this...?