craigslist 2005 with 143K in ANC for 16+K, with macho sales pitch

Location
United States
There must be a template available for this gibberish somewhere on the internet.

In most places, you'd think he wasn't appealing to the right demographic, but in the case of Anchorage this should be a winner. (Hey, looks like a nice one, right?) :)

Toyota Land Cruiser 2005

If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you go to Moose's tooth wearing Xtratuf's on a sunny say or any day as a fashion statement: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and gossip a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have some fake job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those "look at me!" stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.

If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid stuff: THIS IS YOUR CRUISER.

etc, etc.
 

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