Stephan:
I put my voltmeter to the wiring harness under my steering column and found a couple of wires related to the headlight switch. There is a red wire with a green stripe that sees (+) 24v when the high beams are on. There is also a slightly fatter red wire beside it with a yellow stripe that sees (+) 24v when the headlights are on, but 0v when the high beams are flipped on.
Would you test your harness and see if you see that same thing on yours as in mine? If it is the same, then I guess you will have to switch the 24v relay from the (+) side and not ground. It seems to me a tap to the skinnier red wire with the green stripe leading to your relay coil will flip it when the high beams are on, and you can also then run a wire from the relay coil through an on/off switch and then to a (+)24v source to manually flip the aux lights on whenever you want. As insurance, I would personally put a diode inline with the wire tapping off of the red/green wire from the harness.
Does this sound sensible?
I didn't get my 130W 24v bulbs here, they came on my truck from Japan. Looks like these bulbs last a LONG time...as one light wasn't working, but it only turned out to be some corrosion on the base of the bulb that was preventing contact with ground. Cleaned it off and still worked. Looks like they've been there for years. The highest wattage 24v H3 bulbs that I've found locally so far have been the Hella 100W H3s from Lordco. Maybe some of the trucking suppliers have some higher wattage ones, I haven't had the chance to look extensively yet. Cheers.