Have you checked that it's not the diaphragm causing the problem?
You don't say which switch you can't find, the FSM mentions 5 switches. You have eliminated the dash switch and I don't think you mean the Neutral Start switch so look at page TF 5 and you will find the Transfer neutal switch and the L4 position switch on the right side of the transfer case above the rear driveshaft. The only other switch is the 4WD indicator switch and it is just aft of the diaphragm cylinder assembly, page TF 22.
Are you sure its not engaging? I had a problem with burned out light bulbs on the dash switch and indicator. Hit the switch with the engine running, hubs unlocked, tranny in neutral, park brake on, reach up and grab the front shaft. If it engages, it could be an idicator problem and if it doesn't it could be the vacuum system or electrical.
Best of luck
Tony