USOTD - Urban Story of the Day

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Feb 9, 2004
Buffalo Grove, IL
Well, you guys are probably thinking, WTF is this all about. So I'll tell ya.

A couple months ago, I was sitting around having coffee surfing MUD, when my wife Allison called to tell me she had a flat tire on the way into work. So I got dressed, grab some garbage to go to the alley and headed out to take care of it. As I'm walking out my back door at 9:00am, I see two perps jimmying my side garage door trying to break in my garage. I chased 'em for a bit, then jumped in the cruiser and chased some more while CPD tried to catch up. I ended up riding with a couple tac guys for a bit, but never caught them. Worst case for me, I had to shore up the door frame pound a few nails. One of the tac guys took a report, gave me his cell #, and told me to call if they came back.

Fast forward to today. I'm in the garage about 12:00pm, got the Camry on stands replacing both motor mounts. I got both doors to the garage open, I'm making noise, and the cruiser is parked right next to the garage since I'm using the York to run my impact and air ratchet. I hear something outside, so I walk out, and low and behold, some crackhead is rifling through my glove box and center console. So I walk up and say, "Hey a******, what are you doing in my truck." At which time the guy (obvious high or drunk) says, "I'm sorry" and hands me my Leatherman tool and some nickels he got out of my console. He then takes off towards the street. I grab my handcuffs from the center console, and take off after him. I realize then all my tools are sitting open in the garage, so I see which building he ducks next to, then I grabbed my cell and called my tac officer and told him what's up. He sent over a marked car and slick car. It turns out the tac guy that responds is one of the same guys from last time, and is also a friend of a fellow fireman I work with. So once again I jump in and we cruise the neighborhood. After a few trips around the block, I tell them to head back to where I saw guy run towards and lets get out and check in between the buildings. I start walking down the alley looking in yards and stuff, and I see the prick passed out behind a building. So I called the tac guys down, and they grabbed him. Right next to him on the ground was my bluetooth handsfree earpiece and in his pocket was my bluetooth GPS receiver. They got my info, and I split back to work. Later on I signed some complaints at 17th district and last I heard they got felony approval 'cause I guess this guy was a real p.o.s.

Anyway, that's my USOTD. Phil, at least I think you'll appreciate it. :)
Glad you had a great outcome to this! I'm not one to tell folks to not get involved especially in non-violent property crimes. It's your right to get involved especially when it's your s*** they took. You did the good thing by not taking the boots to him when you found him. It kinda screws up our case when that happens. Your neighbors ought to be buying you a few rounds since you saved their s*** from being broken into as well.

We're getting killed on house and garage burglaries and theft from auto's in the 16th and 17th Districts.
The hypes are getting bolder by the day the longer this economy is tanked. Don't be afraid to challenge and confront anyone if you see something going wrong. Just be sure to be armed with a cell phone and a Hillerich and Bradsby! It gets their attention and if they do come at you, you can all go for the longball swing. Aim for either the lower rib cage or the knees. When the police finally arrive and ask why you hit him, remember the phrases that pay..."I was in fear of my life" and "I was armed only to protect myself".

In a real emergency the police are several minutes away and there aren't enough of us to go around in the Peoples Socialist Republic of Daleystan.
Thanks Phil. I had my cuffs and my expandable PR-24 inside the cruiser, but I was more concerned about the next crackhead coming by to grab my tools while I was running down the perp. I was a cop in my former life.... brought back some fond memories today. :D
I was on the job about 4 years and working midnights in the ghetto. It was the period change and we had a couple of new guys in the district. I drew the short straw and got assigned a recruit for the day. No big deal, I dealt with it before and was fast becoming second hand working a rough area with a recruit. At that time we had a lot of bodies to deal with but not a lot of FTO's. So right out of roll call we get 3 in-progress jobs off the bat. I break out the crayon write the jobs down, and make the choice as to what we do first. I look at my list and I see Man stabbed, shots fired, gang fight. Damned all the way around! I get in the car and the kid buckles up for his first day as the real police. I ask him what job do we take first. He says the gang fight. I politely correct him and say shots fired, the stabbing then the gang fight. Like every recruit he asks why. My reply shots fired are always legit but by the time we get there everybody is gone. We'll do a polite show up and head to the stabbing. Hopefully the ambulance is already there and we can do the paperwork in the hospital. The gang fight is always last because I ain't getting my ass kicked over some bulls*** I'm not part of!
I do the kid a favor and hit the lights and siren and speed off to the first job. I drive up slow and look around. Nobody running, no bodies fallen, looks normal. Circle the block a couple of times and still find nothing. Excellent! Off to the stabbing we go full tear lights flashing and sirens blaring. We arrive and are surprised to not find the bambulance. I hit the radio and ask if one has been dispatched. I'm told it was refused. To me this has oh s*** written on it already. We go up and knock on the door and are greeted by a man in his early 60's reeking of booze and his pants undone. I'm thinking "Oh great, a drunk necrophiliac." I ask him whats going on and he proceeds to tell us that he and his friends were sitting around playing cards like they always do while have a bit to drink. Tonight for some reason his old lady took offense to something he said. They argued a bit, she stabbed him and took off. I'm scratching my head and ask him where did she stab you? His eyes got real big and said "The dumb bitch stuck a fork in my ass!" I'm thinking, I gotta see this so I tell him to show me. He drops his already half undone trousers and shows me 4 perfectly spaced holes on his right ass cheek. Nothing to bad mind you it just looks like a piece of ass with a few small extra holes is all. The recruit is all aflutter. His first real case! I personally was a bit pissed because it was bulls***. I ask the fine citizen if he wants the paramedic to take a look at it since it was still bleeding a little. He said no because he already put some mecurochrome on it and it would heal. I asked where the stabber was since I was hoping to get a little court time out of this. He told me he don't want her locked up at all. It was just a normal fight is all. Ok, most folks get into domestics and stab each other. I understand completely. Ok down to brass tacks, I ask then why'd you call the police? He yells, because I don't want that crazy bitch coming back tonight! I'm up a hundred dollars and she's bad luck! Gotcha. I get on the radio and tell the dispatcher what transpired and code out the job. No police service required.
You would've swore I pissed in the kids cheerios when I coded it out. Mouth agape and head shaking. A legitimate guy stabbed and a known offender all thrown away by a simple police code. He couldn't shake it all night. His first real police job and, poof! gone like a fart.

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