Yep. The brain rides in a thin layer of fluid and Newtonian physics is in operation.
Traumatic Brain Injury Talk (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Big Ed
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Yep. The brain rides in a thin layer of fluid and Newtonian physics is in operation.
For me, the Internet is a place I have to be cautious around. I get angry with people in person, and the anger only increases when they are not physically there.
I'm shocked that I haven't been banned from here, yet.
I get fired from jobs and banned from internet forums so often it gets boring.
I'm shocked that I haven't been banned from here, yet.
I get fired from jobs and banned from internet forums so often it gets boring.
Last couple weeks were pretty bad; I'm glad I'm on an overseas contract, as it makes it difficult to quit. And I would've quit, if I weren't tied to a contract and had to pay for my own move.
Starting about two weeks ago, I started getting inexplicably angry. After attacking a bunch of dumb people on Facebook, I deactivated my account out of self-protection
One of my triggers is people displaying logic errors. Doesn't matter if the issue is important or not, it becomes the whole world in my head. I know, intellectually, that the majority of people gleefully live illogical lives with all sorts of self-contradictions and that shouldn't impact me in the slightest.
It's getting better, now. Stepping away from Facebook helped a lot, as did changing my workout. Plus, work has heated up and that helps distract the mind.
Starting about two weeks ago, I started getting inexplicably angry. After attacking a bunch of dumb people on Facebook, I deactivated my account out of self-protection
One of my triggers is people displaying logic errors. Doesn't matter if the issue is important or not, it becomes the whole world in my head. I know, intellectually, that the majority of people gleefully live illogical lives with all sorts of self-contradictions and that shouldn't impact me in the slightest.
It's getting better, now. Stepping away from Facebook helped a lot, as did changing my workout. Plus, work has heated up and that helps distract the mind.
micruz60
Unleaded Regular
My mind is like a bad neighborhood at night.
I don't like to go there alone.
I don't like to go there alone.
So... The last few months we've had continuous training rotations here, so I'm pretty physically and mentally exhausted. The last day of the last rotation, I fell into a conversation with an Army doc from one of the units we were training, where the subject of my TBI came up.
To recap; I have multiple TBIs from boxing in college, working horses and playing football in high school and one major TBI from a car accident as a civilian. I guess I've had two light bumps from IEDs in Afghanistan, but I can tell they were too minor to significantly affect my brain case.
Anyway, this Army doc got all pissy because I refused to take a referral from him to the VA. Based on his logic, I am a veteran, and I have a TBI; therefore, I "deserve" to get benefits and a disability check "because I earned it with my service" regardless of how I got my TBI.
I did not respond in a particularly pleasant fashion to this individual. I thought it was insulting and rude to also question my ability to understand the long term affects of TBI. (Yeah, I get it... I can read). He also insinuated that I was demeaning all the veterans with TBI that are service related by refusing VA treatment. Personally, I think VA is great place for service related injuries, but also feel too many veterans treat the VA as the medical candy store. Which results in long waiting lists and denied treatment for deserving veterans.
Anyway, thought I'd throw this out there to see what folks thought.
To recap; I have multiple TBIs from boxing in college, working horses and playing football in high school and one major TBI from a car accident as a civilian. I guess I've had two light bumps from IEDs in Afghanistan, but I can tell they were too minor to significantly affect my brain case.
Anyway, this Army doc got all pissy because I refused to take a referral from him to the VA. Based on his logic, I am a veteran, and I have a TBI; therefore, I "deserve" to get benefits and a disability check "because I earned it with my service" regardless of how I got my TBI.
I did not respond in a particularly pleasant fashion to this individual. I thought it was insulting and rude to also question my ability to understand the long term affects of TBI. (Yeah, I get it... I can read). He also insinuated that I was demeaning all the veterans with TBI that are service related by refusing VA treatment. Personally, I think VA is great place for service related injuries, but also feel too many veterans treat the VA as the medical candy store. Which results in long waiting lists and denied treatment for deserving veterans.
Anyway, thought I'd throw this out there to see what folks thought.
I completely agree with you, Drew.
I have spine issues that are directly traceable all the way back to the early '70's... moving large quantities of 60 lb cases of IBM (computer punch cards) cards, into a storage room, thru a 4' high window. I also have high frequency hearing loss from working in football field sized computer rooms, with enormous mainframe computers... the noise was horrendous... and no one was concerned at the time.
I could easily pursue both of these issues with the VA, but chose not to, for multiple reasons: 1) I never saw combat; 2) VA is for those who need it and can't afford anything else; 3) I don't need a service connected disability, we do fine on the retirement we built; 4) My Father and Father-in-Law both relied upon VA and received excellent service. 5) If everyone chases a disability, the combat injured would never be seen.
We had active duty medical for 20 years; then, Dianna had Blue Cross/Blue Shield for both of us, during the years she worked and its paid for entirely by her employer after she retired. We used TriCare as our secondary. She has BC/BS for another year and then both of us will be on MediCare/TriCare for Life.
I have been on MediCare/TriCare for Life for 2 years now and have had a number of procedures and diagnostic tests and have yet to pay a dollar for any of it.
So, I have no need for VA and refuse to use it just because I can.
Also, I pay very little for prescription meds, thru Express Scripts (part of TriCare) and they are delivered directly to my mailbox.
I have spine issues that are directly traceable all the way back to the early '70's... moving large quantities of 60 lb cases of IBM (computer punch cards) cards, into a storage room, thru a 4' high window. I also have high frequency hearing loss from working in football field sized computer rooms, with enormous mainframe computers... the noise was horrendous... and no one was concerned at the time.
I could easily pursue both of these issues with the VA, but chose not to, for multiple reasons: 1) I never saw combat; 2) VA is for those who need it and can't afford anything else; 3) I don't need a service connected disability, we do fine on the retirement we built; 4) My Father and Father-in-Law both relied upon VA and received excellent service. 5) If everyone chases a disability, the combat injured would never be seen.
We had active duty medical for 20 years; then, Dianna had Blue Cross/Blue Shield for both of us, during the years she worked and its paid for entirely by her employer after she retired. We used TriCare as our secondary. She has BC/BS for another year and then both of us will be on MediCare/TriCare for Life.
I have been on MediCare/TriCare for Life for 2 years now and have had a number of procedures and diagnostic tests and have yet to pay a dollar for any of it.
So, I have no need for VA and refuse to use it just because I can.
Also, I pay very little for prescription meds, thru Express Scripts (part of TriCare) and they are delivered directly to my mailbox.
micruz60
Unleaded Regular
I believe some docs have a godd complex, selfimportant, and know whats best for us... Seems to be a trend in society, where one auto rejects the selfwisdom of patients, and even after listening (or notlistening , walls went up), refuse to respect the individual. Part of the new authoritarianism movement?
I don't use the VA either because they ignored me for 40 years and when I did go it was packed with a lot of folks who were there because they were trying to milk the system IMHO. One guy who was extremely heavy had gout, when I asked him if he drank he said fried shrimp and beer every weekend and at the VA on Monday. Go figure!
Because of numerous combat injuries and back issues from a helicopter crash I went in to get an X-ray of my low back. The doctor wrote an order for my upper back and the X-ray tech who, stunk of tobacco smoke, tried three times to get a picture. Totally ignored the area where the pain was. I thought she was trying to give me radiation damage from the three failed attempts. Got up and told her to stick it. Filed a formal complaint with the hospital administrator but nothing happened.
We always kept BC BS insurance and paid for it ourselves.
Because of numerous combat injuries and back issues from a helicopter crash I went in to get an X-ray of my low back. The doctor wrote an order for my upper back and the X-ray tech who, stunk of tobacco smoke, tried three times to get a picture. Totally ignored the area where the pain was. I thought she was trying to give me radiation damage from the three failed attempts. Got up and told her to stick it. Filed a formal complaint with the hospital administrator but nothing happened.
We always kept BC BS insurance and paid for it ourselves.
Big Ed
SILVER Star
- Thread starter
- #111
You never know what you're gonna get when you bring up this subject. I've had both extremes, and everything in between. Including people telling me what I should or shouldn't be filing for, I try not to let them get to me. I think it's still worth the risk of bringing it up though. It strikes me that a lot of veterans at the VA are non service connected, non combat veteran, I've seen/heard the reactions when they hear I am both. I didn't go there until after Iraq, didn't need to before then. Even though I was already an Army veteran, and in the National Guard.
My son and I did some "therapy" over the weekend (pictures).
My son and I did some "therapy" over the weekend (pictures).
Gorgeous pictures Ed!!
Nature's great!!
#1 reason I don't participate in "Veteran Stuff" is this reason.
I am designed to think critically. Almost to the point of being a mental disorder.
And most veteran's issues have been become such hot buttons, that "thinking critically" is easily perceived as "attacking veterans" by those who are not so fond of critical thought.
So, I can't really go to any of the normal veteran channels to talk about stuff. Thankfully, I have a very small group of friends who understand where I'm coming from and allow me to discuss some, but not all, of these things.
For US veterans in Germany, there is a ton of support, since we still have military bases there and in Italy. I don't use it, because in general, it sucks.
The actual German Army has always treated combat stress "in house" and in fact has habitually had the lowest combat stress related injury rate, historically.
They accomplish this through really simple things like hot meals on the line, not rotating individual soldiers between units, giving soldiers rest, in theater, away from the line, even if it's just a few meters away from the line, and geographically basing their units. They also judiciously use alcohol and have more, but less formal, get togethers to tell stories. They do have counselors and docs, but those are merely there to "keep an eye on things" should someone look to be slipping.
Contrast this with the US Army's willy nilly random personnel assignment policy, "up and out" and treatment through hours of endless lecture instead of training. And oh yeah, treating those who request treatment as a criminal.
Big Ed
SILVER Star
- Thread starter
- #118
Yesterday I was at the hardware store, and someone that used to be in the club came up talking to me. He was in for a couple years several years ago, so didn't know I was out. The subject came up, and I explained it. Turns out he's a Vietnam veteran, and was very supportive. He understood what I was saying and drew the same conclusions I do. He was aware of PTSD, but not TBI. I explained it and he got it, he connected the dots with other things I had already said. We traded contact information, shook hands, and I thanked him for being supportive.
Big Ed
SILVER Star
- Thread starter
- #119
Something I didn't know, March is National Brain Injury Awareness Month.
http://view.mail.iava.org/?qs=6d4b6...17f15f1ade46c1bfe558fc4402814e89a8c164b3b8842
http://view.mail.iava.org/?qs=6d4b6...17f15f1ade46c1bfe558fc4402814e89a8c164b3b8842
Big Ed
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- Thread starter
- #120
I wanted to do an update, I know some people want to know how I'm doing. I continue to do speech therapy, group, and individual counseling. I continue to make gradual improvements with those. I had been in speech from August 2012 to April 2014, that provider left the VA. I was with another one from the springtime last year to earlier this year, she wasn't helping. She only saw me once a month, and we only did one thing at a time.
The one I see now was a student of the first one, and is heading in the same direction as her instructor. We are currently working once a week on the skills I will need when it comes time to ramp up the treatment. That will be multitasking from Hell, that will help me be able to handle multiple input better. I saw direct results from the first one doing that, I can sometimes tell people things are too much for me, instead of not being able to speak. Also I can go into stores and let the employees help me find something. I couldn't do that before. I had to focus on one thing, and talking to someone was two things.
My toughest situations came from people that refused to accept what was going on, and had their own very different ideas. I would be in pain and struggling, but instead of seeing that they thought I was being rude and ignoring them. I tried to help these people understand, but hit a wall of close mindedness. I've come full circle since that peaked last year. Those people are out of my life, and I have very supportive people now. Most people I encounter are supportive. I volunteer directly with the Forest Service, they get it and are understanding.
I learned a lot the last few years. Mostly that I need to stay away from abusive people, I'm not going to change them. I kept thinking I would eventually say the right thing, or present the right documents, and things would click for them. That never happened, it only got worse. I wouldn't have gone into a situation like that, it gradually turned in that direction. It's like the frog in the pot of water. I have many people that are supportive and understanding to do things with, including a few other organizations. The support here in the Veterans Highway has been great, and Danny and others grabbed me and pulled me in when I needed it most. I'm forever grateful.
The one I see now was a student of the first one, and is heading in the same direction as her instructor. We are currently working once a week on the skills I will need when it comes time to ramp up the treatment. That will be multitasking from Hell, that will help me be able to handle multiple input better. I saw direct results from the first one doing that, I can sometimes tell people things are too much for me, instead of not being able to speak. Also I can go into stores and let the employees help me find something. I couldn't do that before. I had to focus on one thing, and talking to someone was two things.
My toughest situations came from people that refused to accept what was going on, and had their own very different ideas. I would be in pain and struggling, but instead of seeing that they thought I was being rude and ignoring them. I tried to help these people understand, but hit a wall of close mindedness. I've come full circle since that peaked last year. Those people are out of my life, and I have very supportive people now. Most people I encounter are supportive. I volunteer directly with the Forest Service, they get it and are understanding.
I learned a lot the last few years. Mostly that I need to stay away from abusive people, I'm not going to change them. I kept thinking I would eventually say the right thing, or present the right documents, and things would click for them. That never happened, it only got worse. I wouldn't have gone into a situation like that, it gradually turned in that direction. It's like the frog in the pot of water. I have many people that are supportive and understanding to do things with, including a few other organizations. The support here in the Veterans Highway has been great, and Danny and others grabbed me and pulled me in when I needed it most. I'm forever grateful.