Mother nature has a calming effect…
After “the great generator collapse of 26”, figured it was a good time to set down my hammer for a few days IOT regroup and refocus. Without hesitation, Ms Revenge and I loaded up the LC and headed N/E. A few days in the cool mountain air with no excitement or pressing issues to speak of, would be a welcome salve for the soul. Sipping my first cup of black coffee, It was 57* on the mercury the first morning.
Long exhale for effect as we down shifted into “Relaxation Mode”.
A days worth of rest and recuperation culminated in a grilled steak, house shoes and a leisurely trip in the rocking chair(s). We watched the sun dip lazily behind the horizon, blink and settle into a fading crimson sky.
Adrenaline favors the swift.
As dusk began to weave its way through the trees and pool at the edge of woods, tranquility hit a trip wire and the evening was no longer a bucolic daydream.
“It’s a @#$&%+§ bear” radiated and echoed across the lake, reverberating back and forth in a high pitched echo. The idyllic evening shattered into a thousand fragments of chaotic movement and unbridled profanity. Ms Revenge set a new land speed record in the bipedal Sixty and Over Division as she launched up and over me, pirouetting in mid air and sticking a perfect landing squarely on the Welcome mat.
Unable to stave off my Neanderthal like curiosity, I stood up and made my way to the end of the porch and asked her “No kidding, where”?
It was at this precise moment that she snatched me up by my Songe Bob PJ’s and hoisted me effortlessly above her head. Unceremoniously tossing me through the kitchen door she bellowed “I said there’s a @#+&%€£ bear on the patio, stay in the house”!!! Wide eyed and breathing heavily she slammed the door and twisted the deadbolt.
Making a mental note, I pledged to never argue with an adrenaline fueled woman who’s teetering on the brink of a wild life inspired psychotic episode.
After some coaxing and a sedative, she explained that while I was happily rocking away in my old man chair, prattling along about the beauty of our park like setting, that she heard something “huff”. turning her head to look toward the patio she came nose to snout with a large sow black bear parading her four cubs across the field stone..
I’m not sure who scared who the most. The Sow exited in a black blur and the four cubs made for the tree line at the back of the yard. Like fur clad inchworms, they clawed their way up about six feet, then froze motionless in an unrehearsed National Geographic moment.
Ten minutes later momma bear returned, no doubt hoping to avoid the whirling banshee she’d ricocheted of off just minutes before. She Sniffed the air and cast a suspicious glance toward the still swaying rockers. Satisfied the howling menace was no longer a threat, she rearranged a deck chair, and rooted around in the pine straw before collecting her cubs who were now playing king of the hill on the retaining wall. Claiming victory they all sauntered off defiantly towards the Neihbor’s back yard.
I managed to coax Ms Revenge off of the ledge with a double Chardonnay and some Jiffy-Pop before clicking off her night light and tucking her into bed.
Mrs bear, judging by her prodigious noggin and ample girth around the rump, is a fair sized bear. No doubt growing fat on the unsecure trash bins of unsuspecting weekend tourist from Baltimore and DC, she has no qualms cruising the cabins looking for marshmallows, water Mellon rinds and half eaten Ballpark franks.
. Two pieces remaining to install on the water lines coming into the shower head. After “the great generator blackout of 26”, I hung my tool belt and walked away.