Not so serious, a joke thread

[Brian Macgyver]

Here I am being all serious all the time. I'm about Meeting in Prescott, and getting together with Cruisers from south of us.
I just got the latest Prescott Funny Paper. Some things beg me to pass them on.

Enter your own best gags here, and let's have a bit of fun!

 

[Brian Macgyver]

Much of the paper is visual. Some pics don't allow description. But one begs for it!
There's a pic of a puppy sitting on a patio, watching a skunk eat from his bowl...
The caption; "Two of the greatest assets in life are Wisdom and Patience."

Another good one;
A man and his wife moved to Missouri from Texas. The man had a wooden leg, and insurance on the leg in Texas cost $2000 a year.
When they arrived in Missouri, they went to an insurance agent to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg.
The agent looked it up on his computer and said, "$39."
The husband was amazed, and asked why it was so much cheaper in Missouri.
The agent turned the screen around and pointed. "Here it is. Any wooden structure with a sprinkler above, is $39. You just have to know the proper description!"

 

[Brian Macgyver]

Another one.
How to avoid the flu.

Eat right. Get your daily fruits and veggies.
Take your vitamins
Get plenty of exercize. This helps to build your immune system.
Walk a lot. Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Wash your hands often. Keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air. Open doors and windows to air out the house.
Eliminate stress as much as possible.
Get plenty of rest.

OR

Take the doctor's approach... Think it through...
When you get a flu shot, What do they do first? They clean your arm with Alcohol!
Why? Because alcohol KILLS GERMS!!

So....
Walk to the store. (exercise)
Put lime in your beer. (fruit)
Put celery in your Bloody Mary. (veggies)
Sip it on the patio. (Fresh air)
Tell jokes. (ease stress)
Then pass out! (rest)

Granny said, "A shot in a glass is better than a shot in the ass!"

It might work! It'd be some fun to find out! Give it a shot!

Post your gags here. I'll add some as I find them. Later I'll post the website for the Funny Paper.

 

[Brian Macgyver]

The site is The Prescott Funny Paper - Home