Probably some of you have figured this out already, but (new to me) I found a way today to remove an OEM connector, and still use the OEM female end. I tried to pull the OEM female end out of the connector, but it wouldn't budge. Turns out it was because the female end has a tang that keeps it in place. I made a simple tool from a finishing nail to depress the tang, allowing the female end to come out. Here are some picts that probably make more sense than what I've written...