Livin’ the Dream … The Diaries of a Madman

[KOWBOY]

Saturday, 19 July

Here’s where I parked last night.

And I ain’t gotta friggin’ clue where I’m at. There’s a barb wire fence behind me and a dirt road in front of me that has right reg’lar traffic on it goin’ both directions. There’s a fire ring next to me so it’s been used as a camp before. And there ain’t no signs sayin’ can’t camp here or private property. Just don’t recall gettin’ here.

 

[KOWBOY]

So yesterday started off innocently enuf. Slept in late, made breakfast, broke camp. Went back down to Kebler Pass Road and turned right to continue my trek towards Crested Butte. Sign said 16 miles. The portion of the road that actu’ly went over Kebler Pass was paved. Pretty drive. After the pass, made me another turn-off for the 2 miles up to Lake Irwin. Also a real pretty lil’ lake.

And it also had a very nice campground on the shore. As I was idlin’ thru that campground for a look-see, the host flagged me down to ask some questions ‘bout my junk. I commented how both of the lake campgrounds were slap jammed up. He said a fella can go online and reserve the spots well in advance. Said his campground was pretty much booked for the rest of the summer. Reckon the tourists must know where they’re goin’ ahead of time.

So then it was back down to the main drag and off I go to Crested Butte. What a cool town. Had a historic main street that was just beggin’ to be explored. Big ol’ huge parkin’ lot at the end of it for free parkin’ all day. Signs said anybody there at 0230 would be towed. Fair enuf. So off I go to put some mileage on them new Tony Lamas.

Gift stores, jewelry stores, real estate stores, fishin’ stores, campin’ stores, bicycle stores … and bars. Go into a store … go into a bar for a few. And repeat. Some great stores and some great bars. Got all the way up one side of the street and made the turn back to the truck. That folks … is when it got ugly. First bid’ness on the other side of the street was a bar called Bonez. Sign said “tequila : tacos”. Barmaid and the manager were both mighty fine lookin’. I was in trouble and I knew it. We was all drinkin’ shots from the fancy bottles off the top shelf. They matched me shot for shot but I was a good two-thirds drunk when I walked into the place. Bar ain’t got much beer and no Coors at all so in between them tequila shots I was drinkin’ cans of PBR. I was 110% drunk when I stumbled out many, many hours later. I remember goin’ down the sidewalk and gettin’ to my truck. I remember there was a note on the door from a fella that recognized my junk from the world wide web. I remember startin up the truck and puttin’ on my seatbelt.

Then I woke up here this mornin’.

I assume I’m close to town but I don’t know which way town is. I actually did a good job of settin’ up the camper tho. Pretty level and all is in order. I still have my wallet and there’s a receipt in it from Bonez for 322 bucks. Ouch.

So it’s now time to break camp and try to find town. And just mite have to grab me a taco for lunch.

 

[KOWBOY]

Sunday, 20 July

I got me two theories on how I got to that mystery camp Friday night. One involves an alien abduction and the other somehow involves the CIA and black helicopters.

So yesterday mornin’ I tried usin’ all my Injun trackin’ skills and looked for a trace of my Toyo’s comin’ into that camp so I’d know which way to turn to find town. But the ground was too hard … and there just weren’t none to be seen. So I went downhill. Immediately ‘round the first bend was a cattle guard for the National Forest boundary. Thus the barb wire fence behind my camp. So I was indeed in a legal campin’ spot. Thanks for that to the aliens/CIA. So I go 2 or 3 miles down a twisty, washboard dirt road that was single lane in spots. Don’t recognize a thang. Truck headin’ the other way pulls up next to me and hollers my name. Must be an alien/CIA type. Nope. It was the gentleman that left me the note on my truck. Real nice fella that’s got the same camper I got and was out campin’. He graciously confirmed I was indeed headin’ towards town. Then hit blacktop and went a few miles thru a residential area. Don’t recognize a thang there neither. Then hit the main drag for a mile or two and get back to that big-ass parkin’ lot where I last remember bein’. Perfect. Let’s try this again. Maybe without the tequila this time tho.

But before I parked the truck there, I went to top off the diesel tank at one of the two gas stations in town … and the only one with diesel. Which was also a True Value Hardware store so I bought some flashlight bat’ries. And they also had lottery tickets so I had ‘em run my ticket to see if’n I gotta go back to work. It’s a winner! But only 2 bucks.

So back to the big-ass parkin’ lot and off I go again on foot. This time I head up the left side of the street. The main drag here ain’t called Main Street. It’s called Elk Avenue.

Into a bookstore I go for a guidebook. Which plainly states that my junk ain’t got no bid’ness at all on the pass over to Aspen … which is exactly what I had in mind. Oh well. Time for a beer then.

Crested Butte, CO is a drinkin’ man’s town By Gawd. A fella just ain’t gotta walk far from one waterin’ hole to the next. Although there are many fine examples, one of my favorites was The Eldo Brewery and Taproom. ‘Cause it had phenomenal upstairs patio deal for drinkin’ and watchin’ the folks mill about on the street below. Some really hot mountain chicks here. And lots of Benz’s and Beemer’s with bike racks. Mountain bikin’ is a huge deal here.

Another really cool place is Kochevar’s Saloon and Gambling Hall. Restored to its original state and has some really cool stuff on the walls includin’ the original roulette wheel and slot machine from the late 1800’s. Neat place.

Which then put me back to Bonez.

… and the wall of tequila behind the bar.

Evidently the manager weren’t feelin’ too well and had called in sick. But the young barmaid was a trooper and was waitressin’ yesterday. So I sat at one of her tables and had a dozen or so beers. I think she likes my Tony Lamas.

 

[KOWBOY]

And off I went to my truck to find me a place to sleep. Right outta town I made a quick turn at a sign proclaimin’ National Forest access. This road was number 734 and it was jammed up with tourists once the road crossed the forest boundary. Any place a fella could possibly get off the road was occupied. So I kept goin’ and made a left on number 552 up towards Daisy Pass. Pretty good stream crossin’ at the start so maybe some of the car campers would hesitate to go this route. And indeed it was much less traveled.

Both these roads follow the scenic Slate River. Here’s a critter wadin’ ‘round without a care in the world.

Some waterfalls alongside the road.

Road was a one-lane and turned bumpy in spots and a pretty constant grade on up. Lost some more paint and the camper took a pretty good lick here.

But it was a nice drive and only a few campers as I kept ploddin’ along.

 

[KOWBOY]

Came to the end of the road and called it good.

You can see here the boulders that block the road and I’m liter’ly camped right on the road for Saturday night. Originally a fella could cross the creek and follow the switchbacks up a ways to Daisy Pass.

Real pop’lar place for hikers here. Several parties passed by last evenin’. Heard that the road was closed due to a big rockslide a few years back. And sev’ral parties of hikers have done already headed up this mornin’ as well. Temptin’ to strap on the hikin’ boots and follow suite … but I can’t today. Gotta break camp and head into town soon for a lunch date. Best wipe the dust off them Tony Lamas.

 

[KOWBOY]

[Passage of time until evenin’]

And I did head back down that skinny lil’ road.

Sshhh … listen close … you mite can hear the paint bein’ scratched off my truck as I eased on outta there.

And here’s the creek crossin’ at the intersection of the main dirt road.

 

[KOWBOY]

So took me an hour to get from that campsite to that familiar big-ass parkin’ lot at the East end of Elk Avenue. My junk spent so much time there I reckon I shoulda snapped a pic. Gotta few hours to kill before my luncheon so I did me some more shoppin’. Got a killer lil’ backpackin’ table so I can get rid of the big aluminum one I been usin’ and some excellent trekker poles to help with my balance on my next hike. Docs done warned me that hittin’ my head on that tree on my scooter weren’t gonna do my balance no good. And then I commenced to drinkin’ again. I love Crested Butte. Unfortunately, done got stood up on my lunch date. Just one of the many perils of chasin’ young barmaids. So back to the truck I go and look at my map just as it started to rain.

Looks like Tincup’s only a coupla hours away so off I go. Head south and take road 813 which is just a dirt shortcut between the two major paved roads.

Short distance puts ya on the scenic road 742 that follows the Taylor River all the way up to the Taylor Park Reservoir. Very pretty drive with lots of National Forest campgrounds but the rains prevented pics. They let off some by the time I got to the reservoir.

Now take the cutoff on the dirt road up to Tincup. Just a bit aways from the lake is this joint. I was tempted to see if’n I’d get a discount.

The road from the lake to Tincup is user friendly to say the least.

And this is ATV country. The whole way along both sides of the road was lil’ toyhauler communities set up at the edge of the woods. Thick as ticks on a hound. Quads and side-by-sides ev’rywhere. Hun’erds of ‘em. Some of them camps were really set up nice.

 

[KOWBOY]

And on into Tincup. I didn’t take no pics ‘cause I been there so much and I believe ev’rybody else has as well. And ev’rybody also knows that the stretch of road ‘tween Tincup and Mirror Lake is just one big free campground. Which is why I came here. And how I ended up parked ‘neath these trees …

… and next to this beaver pond.

 

[KOWBOY]

Monday, 21 July

Without a doubt, the logical thang to do today would be to backtrack back down to Tincup and head over the Cumberland Pass back down to Pitkin for an ice cream bar at the general store there and then on towards Gunnison. That would have me stay on the west side of the Continental Divide. But it would also keep me in 2wd this whole week. Besides … who can possibly resist goin’ over Tincup Pass when you’re sittin’ this close? Take a stronger man than me. So off we go.

Just a short distance puts me at beautiful Mirror Lake. The trail to the pass is on the left of the lake and then headin’ away from the lake on the far shore.

Rocky road. Tincup Pass is well known for that. Starts just as soon as ya leave that parkin’ lot where I was just sittin’. So I leave the doubler alone and chunk the other levers into low. So now I’m at 4.3 on the Atlas. 2nd gear on the transmission and start easin’ along.

It ain’t like they’re big rocks. Just big enuf to make for a real bouncy ride if’n ya don’t crawl along. No use shakin’ up the beer in the fridge.

Here’s the first good look at the pass as ya clear the woods.

 

[KOWBOY]

But there’s still rocks in the road.

… and marmots.

It was actu’ly a struggle to take these trail pics with nobody in ‘em. I was crawlin’ along with the big diesel idlin’ at 1000 rpm and the speedo pegged at 0. Ain’t in no hurry. But had a constant eye on my mirrors to keep lettin’ the masses pass me. Listed in order of speed as they went by:

a) Few off-road motorscooters

b) Many high-performance side-by-sides

c) Even more utility side-by-sides and quads

d) One late-model Range Rover

e) Marmots and chipmunks

f) A small group of big, black ants

Sure was a pretty drive tho and it didn’t make no sense to beat my junk to death. I spent a whole buncha money so this thang would go slow. So I did.

Towards the top the road gets notice’bly worser.

 

[KOWBOY]

And there’s a coupla spots that actu’ly have some big rocks. The ATV crowd’s done made bypasses ‘round ‘em. That worked perfect for me ‘cause I crawled over them big rocks while the ATV folks went around me. One spot in particular had a really big rock on both tracks of the trail. Could tell there weren’t much traffic took this short section. I figured if my front bumper would clear ‘em then I could crawl ‘em. Mize well try … gotta coupla side-by-sides behind me again anyhow. Just steered a lil’ and went up and over with both ends. Nice. Them ATVs didn’t go past tho. They stopped on the bypass to watch. I figure it’s kinda like why folks watch NASCAR … they’re just waitin’ to see a wreck. Not sorry a lick to disappoint ‘em.

And two full hours from the lake … I was sittin’ on top. Just not that tough a trail and never was a doubt I’d make it. Just had to be patient.

Then I started easin’ on down the other side.

 

[KOWBOY]

The section of road on the east side of the pass is the best stretch of road on the entire trail. Just a coupla easy switchbacks and you’re down to the treeline. Here’s lookin’ back up at the pass from in between the switchbacks.

Once in the trees just past this point, the road gets rocky enuf again to warrant just easin’ along again.

Also skinny enuf in them trees to be a major pain-in-the-ass to give the uphill traffic the proper right-of-way. The ATV crowd was very helpful in tryin’ to let me by and not necessarily demandin’ the right-of-way. Workin’ on the water, we call that “Big Boat Rules”. In other words, damned the Rules of the Road … whoever has the biggest boat has the right-of-way. Nevertheless, I sure ‘preciated that and thanked ‘em as I passed. Did give way to a coupla rental jeeps tho. Experience has taught me to give them a wide berth.

As the road got lil’ better I started lookin’ seriously for a campin' spot. Found one nice candidate but was on the opposite side of the road from the Chalk Creek. No good. Next one was real nice and by the creek but weren’t no way to level out my junk. Third one’s the charm.

 

[KOWBOY]

Out the Window

 

[KOWBOY]

Now I’m gettin’ used to the tourists leavin’ behind tree trunks for me. But sure nice of ‘em to drag ‘em right next to the fire ring.

Took no time at all to make it look like this.

And rigged up an instant grill for Steak Night. I can easily just get by on a sandwich or somethin’ but I think I’ll make this a tradition once per trip. Last time was the NY Strip. This time a T-Bone.

Beef … it’s what’s for dinner.

That was an extremely good steak and was cooked just right. Corn was nice and hot. Tater weren’t done. I’m still strugglin’ with the tater deal but I’m honin’ in on it. Maybe next trip.

And the whole time, wavin’ to the crowd goin’ by up on the road. Saw like 4 jeeps and 1 FJ-40. And a hun’erd ATV’s. The deal is that ya camp in the valley over by Taylor Reservoir in all them toyhaulers and then ride thru Tincup and over the pass to St. Elmo and then back. Good day’s ride. Very, VERY pop’lar. Surprised that I do believe the quads out numbered the side-by-sides. And the utility side-by-sides sure out numbered the high-performance ones. Funny how some of ‘em were dressed in outfits like they was in a motocross on the tee-vee and some just had on jeans and a t-shirt.

But I weren’t the only one dinin’ in that camp spot.

 

[KOWBOY]

Tuesday, 22 July

Tuesday’s the only day I gotta sorta figure out where I’m goin’ since I gotta position myself to catch a plane on Wednesday. And I’m on the wrong side of the Continental Divide. No use bouncin’ back over Tincup Pass tho so down I go to St. Elmo. Gotta good early start to try to avoid the ATV stampede and only passed a few. No pics of St. Elmo but it’s kind of a cool place. Lots of money bein’ poured in to try to restore the old buildin’s. One lil’ general store’s bout the only bid’ness to try to catch the ATV crowd. Road turns into a major dirt road at St. Elmo but it’s still pretty country.

Here’s Alpine Lake.

And Cascade Falls.

And Chalk Lake.

 

[KOWBOY]

And then blacktop thru the cabins, resorts, and dude ranches down to Highway 285 ‘bout 8 miles south of Buena Vista. I like Buena Vista but not on the schedule this go ‘round so south I go to Poncha Springs. Thru a nice valley. Turn onto Highway 50 and head west up to Monarch Pass to cross back over the Divide. Ain’t no crawlin’ over the Divide today. Nosir. I’m talkin’ 11 thousand pounds of Big Ol’ Bitch just gettin’ it! Speed limit was 45.

Kicked off the overdrive and was doin’ 60 mph at 2500 rpm. Pic of the pod gauges didn’t turn out but I was holdin’ the Pyro at 1200 degrees and was pushin’ 12 lbs of boost.

Livin’ in the fast lane all the way up. I spent a whole buncha money so this thang would go fast. So I did.

No need to look in the mirrors. Passed ev’rybody on the road. Gave me a chubby. Not too big … but hard as a can of corn.

And didn’t let off when I got to the top neither. Was workin’ them big disc brakes hard goin’ into the corners and black-smokin’ the exhaust comin’ out of ‘em. It was a large time.

And that put me down in the valley of the grasslands headin’ over to Gunnison.

 

[KOWBOY]

Gunnison seemed like a nice town. Some potentially good lookin’ bars but was too early for them to be open. Topped off with diesel and replaced all the beer I’d been drinkin’. And got a large banana milk shake at Sonic. Sonic’s got really good milk shakes.

Then you drive forever next to the humongous Blue Mesa Reservoir in the Curecanti National Recreation Area.

More pics as I drive along.

At one point Highway 50 crosses over on a bridge. Here’s out the driver’s window …

… and the passenger’s window.

Sorta reminded me of Lake Mead back out in Nevada the way there weren’t no trees. Fishin’s the game here. Lots and lots of places on shore and lots of boats on the water. But no trees. I was hopin’ for some trees so I could camp. So keep goin’.

 

[KOWBOY]

Take Highway 92 to complete the southern portion of the West Elk Loop that I started last Wednesday. Which immediately takes ya across the Blue Mesa Dam. Here’s lookin’ downstream of the lake. In essence, it’s the start of the Black Canyon of the Gunnison River.

I’ve always heard of the Black Canyon but had never seen it. Damn what a sight. Highway 92 is a low-speed, twisty blacktop that runs right along the northern edge of the canyon. I recommend hittin’ ev’ry lil’ turn out for a look-see.

 

[KOWBOY]

This turnout had a trail that went out to that big rock.

So I hiked down there. What a view!! I was layin’ on my belly takin’ this pic after I crawled close enuf to take it. No way I coulda stood there. And I ain’t ashamed to admit it neither.

And one more as the road started to peter away from the canyon.

 

[KOWBOY]

No campin’ along there and now the road’s losin’ elevation as well. I lose much elevation it’s gonna be too hot to camp. So I turn on road J82 where there’s a sign that says National Forest access. Soon there’s a fork in the road with a nice National Forest map on it. Looks like road 716 is the shortest distance to the Forest and heads up to the top of the mesa on the horizon. So here we go.

After 4 or 5 miles I get to the sign I need to see to know I can camp.

Anythang past this sign is fair game. Want shade tho since it’s ‘bout 80 and would like to get some elevation. First coupla spots had no shade. And it’s lookin’ like the road mite go up on the mesa anyhow so I keep goin’. Thru some nice groves of Aspens but no campin’ spots. Don’t look like this road sees much traffic.

It does, in fact, get to the top of the mesa and I come to this turn for road 716-2A.

It barely even looks like a road.