Just realized that I didn’t report back!
So as I stated, I changed the ECD relay around noon and drove the car home. In the evening it started and ran, but the engine was shaking. Changed the fuel filter, and it did not want to start.
Got it towed to my mechanic, and handed him a new ECU and Spill Valve. First thing he did was try start the vehicle and it started. He didn’t change or touch anything. It has been running perfect ever since (6 months). So now I have a spare spill valve and ECU
Turns out it WAS the ECD relay, and probably the fuel filter was not primed from when I was playing around with it earlier.