On mine it was behind the clock spring. There is I believe a white plastic piece with a metal reluctor ring attached to it. There's a sensor at the top that reads it and I discovered it making the rubbing noise after removing the clock spring. I marked its center point then rotated it slightly...
I've seen many videos referencing the starter location lately and yeah it's kind of a pain but if you use a quality factory starter they have a very long lifespan. So if you use the right parts it will likely only be done once or maybe 2x in 500k miles. Also a good time to do the coolant cross...
Mine did that when I first got it. I just slowly tapped the close button until it closed fully. Just tapping it will keep it from going into auto close mode. Once closed I believe you then press and hold the close button in for an extended period of time and it will then go through its motions...
Just reading story and my heart breaks for you. To some they're pets but to others, (myself included) they're family. It sounds like you gave him the best life and that's all he could ever ask for. He'll always be with you in spirit.
It might be worth it to spend the money and throw that 4runner on bat. An awesome example and could bring big money by broadening your audience.
It seems like now is the best time of any to sell low mileage examples, at some point those numbers are gonna have to come back down somewhat to reality.
I think for many of us it's a hobby to build/maintain/restore these things. I enjoy on a lazy Sunday doing small things to it that may seem like a problem for others. Example: refoaming a sub or cleaning the seat belts just to see how new I can make them or whatever. If your looking for...
I say if it drives like new then keep and drive. Highway miles are the easiest. If you decide it's not for you and you want a more modern vehicle you'll likely get your money back out of it. Obviously a 200 won't get that much better mpg's. When dialed in they are great highway cruisers.
And as far as I know can seals aren't part of any standard service. T belt/water pump should be 1,200-1,500. Sounds high. Now a full 90k where all fluids are being flushed joints lubed, filter replaced would be closer to what was quoted. But still high.
https://cincinnati.craigslist.org/wto/d/dayton-18toyota-tundra-wheels/7124471876.html
Not sure how close you are to Cincinnati but I found these last night