I started out on an old Royal Enfield Bullet because that was the only dual sport I could afford. Rode it all over the country with a little 1/2 helmet and a department store leather jacket. One day the shifter fell off and I realized that bolts throughout the entire bike were loose. Educated myself over the next few months just enough to realize that the thing was not safe. Saved up enough for a used BMW F650. Honed my on/off road throughout the western states on that for a while, put about 20K on it. Bought some BMW Rally gear and a good helmet, mostly because I was sick of getting hit in the face with road debris...even got stung by a bee once. Upgraded to a 1200GS that I picked up in Atlanta and rode that everywhere. Pretty much decided I was a good rider at this point and riding was not that dangerous. Then I slammed into a Ford Taurus in Memphis doing about 40. Lived through it ONLY because I had on the very best gear. I'd had a few spills before, but this was the real deal. The accident was your typical old lady making a left turn abruptly into my lane, no warning whatsoever. Took me about 2 yrs to get back at it and feel confident again. Now I have a new GSA with another 20K on it. Accident free, fingers crossed.
Here are my thoughts:
1. Start with a small bike and assume that everyone is trying to kill you. Look in your mirrors as much as you look forward. Work up to the big machine. It takes serious skill to handle a big bike. One day there will be a piece of firewood on the freeway or some crazy gravel and you'll be happy you're on a more nimble machine. Once you become an advanced rider, I think the bigger the better...more visable, more mass in a crash. I'm a big fan of the boxer motor because it protects your legs...
2. Always wear a helmet...a good one, not some piece of crap. I smashed a Carbon Fiber Schuberth something terrible. A crappy little 1/2 helmet doesn't do much. I use Arai now. Invest in your head.
3. Super bright lights are the next most important piece of gear after the helmet. Invest in HIDs and run them all the time. I have people pull out in front of me when the HIDs are off or blown, but never when they are running. It makes a huge difference. Most motorists drive in a daze, and there is something psychological about two bright, laterally-spaced lights that says "avoid that thing." The phenomenon of a motorist driving into a bike that they are looking at is well documented. Their eyes see the bike but their mind doesn't. I was on a huge yellow GS with a yellow jacket on, middle of the day, no traffic, no sun, nothing. Lady just drove right into me.
4. Next always wear gear. I've taken a spill or two otherwise and gear is really nice. Jeans do absolutely nothing when you are sliding down the pavement. I learned that in a clover leaf in Austin.
I have two little kids now and think about safety a lot. IMHO, riding a bike can be quite safe if you're smart. It can kill you quickly if you're a dumb ass. Remember that riding 80 on the BQE through New York City is potentially safer than passing a strip mall at lunch. Be aware of your situation and always have an out...
Just my thoughts for anyone who is jumping in. Good luck!