Good analogies

[Land Speeder]

I use analogies all the time in work and play. One I use at work a lot when people ask me why they got malware on their pc is "you can have the best home security system money can buy, but if you open your front door and invite a burglar in yourself, you're gonna get robbed"
Meaning, don't go a click on a link you have no idea it is. Because you are in control of what you browse.

What's that one from tommy boy, " I can get a good look at a butchers ass, but I'd rather take a bulls word for it!"?


What's some that y'all use?

 

[futurefjowner]

You can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a cow's ass- but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it.
OR
Tommy: [Trying to copy his father's quote] Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it?
Mr. Brady, Customer: [confused] What? I'm failing to make the connection here.
Tommy: No, I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.
Richard: [embarrassed] Wow.

'No, wait. It's gotta be your bull' might be my favorite line from the movie.

 

[BamaHeel]

Slicker than a two peckered goat in a screwing contest

Not an analogy I know but hilarious esp bc I heard it from my wife's grandmother

 

[xodeuce]

Slicker than s*** through a goose.

or, one of my coworker's dad's talking about doing s*** work for the right price: "Son, for enough money, I'll stand on my head and let you pack sand in my ass."

 

[BMThiker]

Locked up tighter than "two dogs in July".

 

[bamaburt]

"Dumber than a box of hair"

 

[justbecause]

 

[BamaPaul]

Those are just funny

 

[Clutchee]

-I'm down like four flat tires

- hungry as a hostage

- think gilligan thought of that one

 

[TX4Runner]

Madder than a hunchback in a limbo contest.

Madder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory.

One more -

Madder than a woodpecker in a steel mill.

Likely sent from the bathroom stall using IH8MUD

 

[mjl132]

If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass when he jumps. --Cassandra from Wayne's World