TORT: The ONSC Rant Thread (2 Viewers)

[stevezero]

Sometimes it is best to just keep on scrollin by.

I came into the house last night after spending an hour dancing with a rotary buffer on my 80 series hood, and my wife was watching a show that was like one of those housefraus of (insert city here), yet it had a bunch of midgets, little people, dwarfs, whatever they would like to be called. they were in the middle of some sort of Panty Drop Run in LA, where everyone, including dudes, were running around in wimmens underwear. nothing says wtf did i hust see, ans i need to scorch my eyes with bleach, like a bunch of weirdly shaped and wierdly made up midgets in thongs running down the street, parading under a dude straddling two parking columns like a bridge, while hes in wimmens underwear...

 

[JohnVee]

F-you, @stevezero As a self-identifying little person, I take great offense at your statement. Yes, I might be trapped at only 6' and 205lbs, but I've always felt like I should be 6'2" and 230lbs. The doctors say I have BBC - Big But Confused. That diagnosis also gives me great pride for some reason.

......Speaking of, if the security line annoys you......

And ANOTHER THING! I flew First Class out of CLT recently. I felt like I was finally being recognized as the "holier than thou" supreme person that I am. Checked my bag for free, then they ushered me to a special TSA line for the other, though less awesome, Special People at Gate B. From inside that exclusive set of ropes, we got to see the most spectacular sight imaginable......the sight of the "Normals" TSA line moving at a record pace! Using every bit of genius level mathematical ability I could summon, I calculated that the Normals line was moving faster than mine to the tune of almost 4:1. Appropriately, the Specials' level of unrest, cursing and silent wishes for hordes of locusts to be unleashed on a certain government agency was at a matching 4:1 ratio. To make matters worse, Sarah had walked to Gate A and called me after completing her invasive Normal TSA examination in less than 10 minutes. It would be another 32 minutes before I would exit my line. I won't even go into the TSA shift change that occurred mid-wait and involved the conveyor belt agent having a completely different set of rules for proper item removal/bin usage than what the original agent had been yelling at us.

But wait, there's more! The boarding process was held up so long that us First Classers did NOT get to leisurely board our plane. The gate agents pretty much just called everybody at once, as ready, to make up some time. And THEN we weren't even able to awkwardly avoid eye contact with the boarding Normals while sipping our free drinks because the plane galley hadn't yet been restocked...probably T-bor's fault (@lt1fire? @fj40z?). And THEN the serving to the Specials was further delayed due to turbulence upon takeoff. And THEN I finally looked around, surveying my kingdom, gin & tonic in hand, ready to receive the accolades bestowed upon us Specials (meaning stares of jealousy and discomfort) by the normals...only to find that the plane was half empty. Yep, pretty much every passenger was enjoying the comfort of NOT HAVING SOMEBODY SITTING IN THE SEAT BESIDE THEM. So, yeah. It was pretty much the worst trip ever.

 

[jamesurq]

So it sounds like what you're saying is that your enjoyment of something is in direct proportion to how much pain and anguish those around you are forced to endure?

 

[JohnVee]

So it sounds like what you're saying is that your enjoyment of something is in direct proportion to how much pain and anguish those around you are forced to endure?

And this, just because I think it's funny and it needs to go somewhere:
Wayne's World - No Place Else To Go

 

[Bryanseye]

So it sounds like what you're saying is that your enjoyment of something is in direct proportion to how much pain and anguish those around you are forced to endure?

Pretty much how it works. I am just waiting for that first class upgrade on Southwest.

Great part about flying Southwest is you never have to make the awkward decision whether to let that celebrity you spot be unbothered, or shout for an autograph and selfie.

 

[Ghostrider I]

I thought it was a Fuquay Varina thing. I hope it doesn't spread.

Oh, it's spread all right. When driving to and from Miami I saw my share of two-wheeled drive SUV and pickups with this "southern stanced" BS. It's just as a bad as fart cans and lift kits on two-wheel drive pickups and SUVs.

 

[onemanarmy]

I'm not really a fan of the electric car movement, but once it does take hold, it'll be nice to not have to hear the loud pipes on harleys and everything else the mouth breathers strap them to.

 

[JohnVee]

Pretty much how it works. I am just waiting for that first class upgrade on Southwest.

Great part about flying Southwest is you never have to make the awkward decision whether to let that celebrity you spot be unbothered, or shout for an autograph and selfie.

Can’t tell you how many times I saw R Lee Ermy on flights. And I think Skunk Baxter (Steely Dan) was in every flight I took in the 90’s. Look him up, people. No mistaking him.

 

[lt1fire]

F-you, @stevezero As a self-identifying little person, I take great offense at your statement. Yes, I might be trapped at only 6' and 205lbs, but I've always felt like I should be 6'2" and 230lbs. The doctors say I have BBC - Big But Confused. That diagnosis also gives me great pride for some reason.

And ANOTHER THING! I flew First Class out of CLT recently. I felt like I was finally being recognized as the "holier than thou" supreme person that I am. Checked my bag for free, then they ushered me to a special TSA line for the other, though less awesome, Special People at Gate B. From inside that exclusive set of ropes, we got to see the most spectacular sight imaginable......the sight of the "Normals" TSA line moving at a record pace! Using every bit of genius level mathematical ability I could summon, I calculated that the Normals line was moving faster than mine to the tune of almost 4:1. Appropriately, the Specials' level of unrest, cursing and silent wishes for hordes of locusts to be unleashed on a certain government agency was at a matching 4:1 ratio. To make matters worse, Sarah had walked to Gate A and called me after completing her invasive Normal TSA examination in less than 10 minutes. It would be another 32 minutes before I would exit my line. I won't even go into the TSA shift change that occurred mid-wait and involved the conveyor belt agent having a completely different set of rules for proper item removal/bin usage than what the original agent had been yelling at us.

But wait, there's more! The boarding process was held up so long that us First Classers did NOT get to leisurely board our plane. The gate agents pretty much just called everybody at once, as ready, to make up some time. And THEN we weren't even able to awkwardly avoid eye contact with the boarding Normals while sipping our free drinks because the plane galley hadn't yet been restocked...probably T-bor's fault (@lt1fire? @fj40z?). And THEN the serving to the Specials was further delayed due to turbulence upon takeoff. And THEN I finally looked around, surveying my kingdom, gin & tonic in hand, ready to receive the accolades bestowed upon us Specials (meaning stares of jealousy and discomfort) by the normals...only to find that the plane was half empty. Yep, pretty much every passenger was enjoying the comfort of NOT HAVING SOMEBODY SITTING IN THE SEAT BESIDE THEM. So, yeah. It was pretty much the worst trip ever.

 

[stevezero]

So I dont suffer alone, you all can come and join me.

 

[JohnVee]

That's over 48 minutes! Isn't there a short version?

 

[NCFJ]

That IS the short version

 

[stevezero]

Its a show about little people, its always the short version of "drama".

Well, more like condensed, or concentrated...lol

 

[lt1fire]

Why is there a show for this? Maybe I should make one for tall people.

People can then see how hard it is to be comfortable.... just about anywhere.
How many times a day people tell me I'm tall or ask how tall i am and the. Go on to tell me about the tallest person they know.
How had it is to find good fitting clothes that you actually like.
Etc.....

 

[S4Cruiser]

Why is there a show for this? Maybe I should make one for tall people.

People can then see how hard it is to be comfortable.... just about anywhere.
How many times a day people tell me I'm tall or ask how tall i am and the. Go on to tell me about the tallest person they know.
How had it is to find good fitting clothes that you actually like.
Etc.....

I have no sympathy for you! I'd trade my below avg height for your above avg height everyday of the week!

 

[NCFJ]

Al did not mention all the, "you're big, can you carry this" or "Can you get that off the upper shelf for me" add that to owning a pick up and it's "can you help me move Sat"

 

[lt1fire]

I have no sympathy for you! I'd trade my below avg height for your above avg height everyday of the week!

Man you would have to be 4'8 to be on the opposite side of the average spectrum..... lol

 

[jamesurq]

What the hell is the point of a realtree camouflaged garage door opener?

 

[lt1fire]

So you have a reason to actually say you can't find the remote

 

[Bryanseye]

What the hell is the point of a realtree camouflaged garage door opener?

View attachment 1708602

To match seat and steering wheel covers! Waiting for the Kryptek remote myself.