He'd run on 5 cylinders for the rest of his life......
New Cruiserdan product giveaway
- Thread starter Romer
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Well I will try to win you over with the notion of the karma debt owed to me by the dealer service/parts gods from the saga of the 1978 volkwagen westy I used to own. Here is its story.
It was a dark and stormy night. Really. It was 1992, my last term of college, I was engaged to be married in 3 months and I was en route to the bowels of south vancouver to see a guy named wolfgang about his fabulously overpriced 1978 westy and it was raining so hard that the wipers on my wife's 66 mercury comet could not keep up and, what with the rust holes in the rear floorboards fixed with plywood, it was damp enough inside the comet to overwhelm the defroster too so I had the window wound down and was getting mighty wet. I don't even know what made me go look at wolfgang's westy, it was so overpriced, but, after renting one in europe a few years earlier we had decided we wanted a 70's westy for our honeymoon, and we knew we wanted the later model with the full popup and all the one's i'd seen were rust buckets so I moved up the price chain to this westy with an asking price $2,000 above the nearest competitor.
So I arrive at wolfgang's and notice that wolfgang lives up to all cliches about germans. He is polite, has a funny mustache and his house was meticulously clean. He had a collection of those wooden clocks that have people come out and do dances and things when the hour strikes that I admired while he changed into overalls before we went out to the garage to show me the westy. Well the westy was cleaner than his house. A one owner garage kept gem, with the 2 tone white over brown paint scheme, that he told me solemnly he had only used for camping because he used his jetta in town. I believed him when he pulled out a carefully maintained (in german) log book for all the trips he had taken in it. He had the original dealer paperwork and 15 years worth of meticulous receipts. It was the "champagne" package with extra goodies like intermittent wipers. The interior was beyond perfect. The exterior flawless. It drove like a new car. the canvas was like new. It had the original curtains and dividers
The only problem, he confessed, was the engine at 210,000 kms, was burning oil like crazy. that was why he was selling so cheap he told me as he mournfully pulled out the cardboard sheet he kept under the van to catch the drips. The fact the van was the highest price I'd ever seen, to the contrary, he felt he was offering a great bargain. Plus, he had just bought a loaded vanagon synchro westy and could not pick it up until he had got this one out of his garage.
Well, even though it was an automatic, I was smitten. I went home and started researching the cost of a motor rebuild. I called the local bug shops got a lot of offers to swap in a carburated 1.7l from an earlier model but not a lot of enthusiasm for rebuilding the later 2 litre. they were complicated and parts were pricey I was told. Next I asked the local VW dealer and got an insane quote. A friend suggested I try south of the border, so I called a VW dealer in bellingham, and the parts guy there offered a much better price we could just barely swallow after taking an advance on our wedding gifts from the parents, to install a new factory block. It would come with a 12,000 mile VW warranty good anywhere in north america and that sounded better to me than the weird vibes I got from bug shops despite the price being twice what they asked. I learned a little about the limited value of warranties from this decision
anyway, after knocking about $100 off Wolfgang's asking price with my pathetic negotiations, I drove it down to Bellingham and had the motor installed. Things were great. We carefully broke in the motor. It ran like a dream. For a while. We took it for a shake down cruise on the oregon coast and it worked great.
A few days after we got back the transmission went. VW shrugged when I suggested it might have something to do with the fact they had just re and re'd the motor, and quoted $2,500 to fix it. $1,400 that we did not have later, we had a rebuilt tranny from a tranny shop. After I told them it was a new VW block they pointed out a fresh oil seal leak in the motor. this one VW owned up to. They had to pull the motor again to fix it. A week later the tranny went again. An argument ensued between the tranny shop and VW about who would fix it. The fact our honeymoon was 2 weeks away led to a compromise. The tranny shop did labour and VW did parts.
a few days before the wedding, the van would not run at all. The intricate "brain" of the venerable but fuel injected westy, a black plastic box retailing for $600 that presumably was full of vacuum tubes, gave out. The possibility this might have happened as a result of the engine being pulled 4 times in the past 2 months, did not move VW or the tranny shop. their best wishes for our nuptuals had given out at the tranny. A very generous aunt giving me her gas card for our honeymoon offset the demolition of our trip budget.
Well the wedding was great and a few days later we set off for Alaska. Among our wedding gifts? a set of 5 new Michelin LT tires, a thule roof rack, a jerry can, a bra, and assorted camping gear. We were set and we were stoked.
On day one of the honeymoon we got to spences bridge in early evening, pulled over in the parking lot of an old fashioned cowboy roadhouse bar and headed inside to buy some offsale beer. When we returned the van would not turn over. We ended up spending the night in the parking lot of the roadhouse. Friday night and quite a rowdy crowd. A native guy pulled up in an old pick up truck with half a dozen dead rattlesnakes in the bed, which he sold to some guy in the bar for beer money. a couple of good fights.
The next morning the van turned over first try. We drove to Williams Lake and found a VW dealership and acquired a very useful document. A little pamphlet giving the address and phone number of every vw dealership in north america. The parts guy advised us that the problem was common to westy automatics. the starter motors were exposed to excessive heat during sustained drives and would not work, especially when hot. apparently it could be fixed with a relay to shorten the ignition voltage drop and by wrapping the starter in asbestos,. He had no starter but he kindly confirmed there was one in prince george and booked us in to have it done there when we got there. meanwhile the starter was working fine he told us if the problem had only happened once, it was not recurringat the dealership and if it did we still would be able to start it cold and on that basis we headed off to see the old ghost town of barkerville, 50 miles off a spur road to the north. You guessed it, we got stuck there. the starter would not turn warm or cold, and we learned that even being towed by a kind local at 30 mph you cannot bump start an automatic westy. We got towed to a campground and spent the next three days waiting for the new starter to be shipped from Prince George and then the campground manager kindly installed it for me (I had no tools).
then we went to prince george and had the relay installed. This worked as far as Takla Lake in the Yukon, when we had more starter problems, but were able to drive to white horse where we discovered that the prince george dealership had sold us an aftermarket starter not covered by vw warranty. So we waited two days for a true vw starter to be shipped in so we would have a 12 month warranty in the future. Glad we did. Our next starter replacement was a two day layover in anchorage where the vw dealership did it under warranty and also changed the relay system for free because they said it was not done right. That was a good starter let me tell you. Got us through the rest of the trip and all the way home from the honeymoon and it wasn't until the following year it gave out having crossed the continent. Wolfgang reported he had never replaced a starter in 210,000 km of highway driving by the way.
Fast forward to the great trans-canada trip of 1993 a year later. I had a month between jobs so we headed east to nova scotia. The van had run perfect for a year. We got it fully serviced by VW before we left and this time I brought a a BCAA (AAA) membership and a socket set On day one of the trip we decided to avoid the spences bridge jinx so we went over the coquihalla instead. 3/4 of the way up smoke started pouring out the back of the van. Well we pulled over and having fought off the tow truck vultures who patrol that highway, finally had a BCAA guy tow us back down to Hope. What a drag. We thought the trip was over before we started but the bcaa guy checked it out and told us he figured the vw dealers had overfilled the tranny and it had vented ATF on the steep grade which had created the smoke. Sure enough the van ran fine, but as between two evils, we headed up the fraser canyon instead and stopped short of spences bridge to camp for the night. the next day we cheered as we rolled past spences bridge but near walhachin only 60 km further there was a sudden bang, followed by a horrible rattling noise and a loss of power. I limped into a last chance gas bar 100 yards ahead and the mechanic reported a spark plug has blown out of the head and there are barely any threads left. He felt whoever put the plug in last cross threaded or overtightened it. He reefs it in there as tight as we can and recommends a new head. We drive to Kamloops and go meet the VW service manager (they were about 75% german by the way). At first they will not even look at the van. then the guy looks at the engine warranty and the invoice for new plugs from the vancouver dealer, makes 2 phone calls, and reluctantly they pull it into a bay. 2 hours later they say they feel there are enough threads left and it is good to go. Around Golden the next day it blows out again. This is on a saturday. The guy at the nearest gas station gets it back in and says it seems tight and tells me if it blows again to cross thread it if I have to because it needs a new head anyway, so we head over the rockies to calgary and a monday morning visit to a vw dealer. This guys agrees they have to replace the head but says it will take a week for the head to arrive. Not wanting to lose a week he offers to loctite it in and suggest we can make Toronto that way and do it there. He was right. In toronto they kept the van for 4 days and gave it back to us with the same head and a helicoil and advice to remove that spark plug as little as possible 
So by this time we did not have time to get to nova scotia so we headed as far as kingston then south to come back through the US. we got just past chicago before the starter gave out at a rest stop. A guy in a big rig very kindly came over to help and demonstrates that tapping on the starter with a hammer while the ignition is engaged will allow it to turn over. Wish I'd known that before as it probably could have saved me a week of my life spent waiting for it to cool down or for a starter to be shipped, not to mention perfecting the dubious art of gassing up while still running. The tapping method gets us to somewhere in western wisconsin (LaCrosse?) for another vw starter, which must have been a dud because it only got us to Wall Drug so we went to Rapid City, SD for another vw starter, which got us to somewhere in montana when the engine starts a god awful clattering diagnosed in Boise I think as the valves in the head in which the plug kept blowing out, which we are advised should be replaced when we get home. when we get there we realize we are 1,000 miles out of warranty, and we end up having to pay the labour and getting the head for free.
Shortly after this we sold it. The guy who bought it was blown away by what a beautiful van it was with only 12k on a factory block and was barely interested in our warnings about the starter.. I sure hope he got half as much enjoyment out of it as we did, and we did, believe me, in spite of my intimate knowledge of the inside of VW parts and service departments across the continent.
anyway, that's my story...
It was a dark and stormy night. Really. It was 1992, my last term of college, I was engaged to be married in 3 months and I was en route to the bowels of south vancouver to see a guy named wolfgang about his fabulously overpriced 1978 westy and it was raining so hard that the wipers on my wife's 66 mercury comet could not keep up and, what with the rust holes in the rear floorboards fixed with plywood, it was damp enough inside the comet to overwhelm the defroster too so I had the window wound down and was getting mighty wet. I don't even know what made me go look at wolfgang's westy, it was so overpriced, but, after renting one in europe a few years earlier we had decided we wanted a 70's westy for our honeymoon, and we knew we wanted the later model with the full popup and all the one's i'd seen were rust buckets so I moved up the price chain to this westy with an asking price $2,000 above the nearest competitor.
So I arrive at wolfgang's and notice that wolfgang lives up to all cliches about germans. He is polite, has a funny mustache and his house was meticulously clean. He had a collection of those wooden clocks that have people come out and do dances and things when the hour strikes that I admired while he changed into overalls before we went out to the garage to show me the westy. Well the westy was cleaner than his house. A one owner garage kept gem, with the 2 tone white over brown paint scheme, that he told me solemnly he had only used for camping because he used his jetta in town. I believed him when he pulled out a carefully maintained (in german) log book for all the trips he had taken in it. He had the original dealer paperwork and 15 years worth of meticulous receipts. It was the "champagne" package with extra goodies like intermittent wipers. The interior was beyond perfect. The exterior flawless. It drove like a new car. the canvas was like new. It had the original curtains and dividers
The only problem, he confessed, was the engine at 210,000 kms, was burning oil like crazy. that was why he was selling so cheap he told me as he mournfully pulled out the cardboard sheet he kept under the van to catch the drips. The fact the van was the highest price I'd ever seen, to the contrary, he felt he was offering a great bargain. Plus, he had just bought a loaded vanagon synchro westy and could not pick it up until he had got this one out of his garage.Well, even though it was an automatic, I was smitten. I went home and started researching the cost of a motor rebuild. I called the local bug shops got a lot of offers to swap in a carburated 1.7l from an earlier model but not a lot of enthusiasm for rebuilding the later 2 litre. they were complicated and parts were pricey I was told. Next I asked the local VW dealer and got an insane quote. A friend suggested I try south of the border, so I called a VW dealer in bellingham, and the parts guy there offered a much better price we could just barely swallow after taking an advance on our wedding gifts from the parents, to install a new factory block. It would come with a 12,000 mile VW warranty good anywhere in north america and that sounded better to me than the weird vibes I got from bug shops despite the price being twice what they asked. I learned a little about the limited value of warranties from this decision
anyway, after knocking about $100 off Wolfgang's asking price with my pathetic negotiations, I drove it down to Bellingham and had the motor installed. Things were great. We carefully broke in the motor. It ran like a dream. For a while. We took it for a shake down cruise on the oregon coast and it worked great.
A few days after we got back the transmission went. VW shrugged when I suggested it might have something to do with the fact they had just re and re'd the motor, and quoted $2,500 to fix it. $1,400 that we did not have later, we had a rebuilt tranny from a tranny shop. After I told them it was a new VW block they pointed out a fresh oil seal leak in the motor. this one VW owned up to. They had to pull the motor again to fix it. A week later the tranny went again. An argument ensued between the tranny shop and VW about who would fix it. The fact our honeymoon was 2 weeks away led to a compromise. The tranny shop did labour and VW did parts.
a few days before the wedding, the van would not run at all. The intricate "brain" of the venerable but fuel injected westy, a black plastic box retailing for $600 that presumably was full of vacuum tubes, gave out. The possibility this might have happened as a result of the engine being pulled 4 times in the past 2 months, did not move VW or the tranny shop. their best wishes for our nuptuals had given out at the tranny. A very generous aunt giving me her gas card for our honeymoon offset the demolition of our trip budget.
Well the wedding was great and a few days later we set off for Alaska. Among our wedding gifts? a set of 5 new Michelin LT tires, a thule roof rack, a jerry can, a bra, and assorted camping gear. We were set and we were stoked.
On day one of the honeymoon we got to spences bridge in early evening, pulled over in the parking lot of an old fashioned cowboy roadhouse bar and headed inside to buy some offsale beer. When we returned the van would not turn over. We ended up spending the night in the parking lot of the roadhouse. Friday night and quite a rowdy crowd. A native guy pulled up in an old pick up truck with half a dozen dead rattlesnakes in the bed, which he sold to some guy in the bar for beer money. a couple of good fights.
The next morning the van turned over first try. We drove to Williams Lake and found a VW dealership and acquired a very useful document. A little pamphlet giving the address and phone number of every vw dealership in north america. The parts guy advised us that the problem was common to westy automatics. the starter motors were exposed to excessive heat during sustained drives and would not work, especially when hot. apparently it could be fixed with a relay to shorten the ignition voltage drop and by wrapping the starter in asbestos,. He had no starter but he kindly confirmed there was one in prince george and booked us in to have it done there when we got there. meanwhile the starter was working fine he told us if the problem had only happened once, it was not recurringat the dealership and if it did we still would be able to start it cold and on that basis we headed off to see the old ghost town of barkerville, 50 miles off a spur road to the north. You guessed it, we got stuck there. the starter would not turn warm or cold, and we learned that even being towed by a kind local at 30 mph you cannot bump start an automatic westy. We got towed to a campground and spent the next three days waiting for the new starter to be shipped from Prince George and then the campground manager kindly installed it for me (I had no tools).
then we went to prince george and had the relay installed. This worked as far as Takla Lake in the Yukon, when we had more starter problems, but were able to drive to white horse where we discovered that the prince george dealership had sold us an aftermarket starter not covered by vw warranty. So we waited two days for a true vw starter to be shipped in so we would have a 12 month warranty in the future. Glad we did. Our next starter replacement was a two day layover in anchorage where the vw dealership did it under warranty and also changed the relay system for free because they said it was not done right. That was a good starter let me tell you. Got us through the rest of the trip and all the way home from the honeymoon and it wasn't until the following year it gave out having crossed the continent. Wolfgang reported he had never replaced a starter in 210,000 km of highway driving by the way.
Fast forward to the great trans-canada trip of 1993 a year later. I had a month between jobs so we headed east to nova scotia. The van had run perfect for a year. We got it fully serviced by VW before we left and this time I brought a a BCAA (AAA) membership and a socket set
On day one of the trip we decided to avoid the spences bridge jinx so we went over the coquihalla instead. 3/4 of the way up smoke started pouring out the back of the van. Well we pulled over and having fought off the tow truck vultures who patrol that highway, finally had a BCAA guy tow us back down to Hope. What a drag. We thought the trip was over before we started but the bcaa guy checked it out and told us he figured the vw dealers had overfilled the tranny and it had vented ATF on the steep grade which had created the smoke. Sure enough the van ran fine, but as between two evils, we headed up the fraser canyon instead and stopped short of spences bridge to camp for the night. the next day we cheered as we rolled past spences bridge but near walhachin only 60 km further there was a sudden bang, followed by a horrible rattling noise and a loss of power. I limped into a last chance gas bar 100 yards ahead and the mechanic reported a spark plug has blown out of the head and there are barely any threads left. He felt whoever put the plug in last cross threaded or overtightened it. He reefs it in there as tight as we can and recommends a new head. We drive to Kamloops and go meet the VW service manager (they were about 75% german by the way). At first they will not even look at the van. then the guy looks at the engine warranty and the invoice for new plugs from the vancouver dealer, makes 2 phone calls, and reluctantly they pull it into a bay. 2 hours later they say they feel there are enough threads left and it is good to go. Around Golden the next day it blows out again. This is on a saturday. The guy at the nearest gas station gets it back in and says it seems tight and tells me if it blows again to cross thread it if I have to because it needs a new head anyway, so we head over the rockies to calgary and a monday morning visit to a vw dealer. This guys agrees they have to replace the head but says it will take a week for the head to arrive. Not wanting to lose a week he offers to loctite it in and suggest we can make Toronto that way and do it there. He was right. In toronto they kept the van for 4 days and gave it back to us with the same head and a helicoil and advice to remove that spark plug as little as possible So by this time we did not have time to get to nova scotia so we headed as far as kingston then south to come back through the US. we got just past chicago before the starter gave out at a rest stop. A guy in a big rig very kindly came over to help and demonstrates that tapping on the starter with a hammer while the ignition is engaged will allow it to turn over. Wish I'd known that before as it probably could have saved me a week of my life spent waiting for it to cool down or for a starter to be shipped, not to mention perfecting the dubious art of gassing up while still running
. The tapping method gets us to somewhere in western wisconsin (LaCrosse?) for another vw starter, which must have been a dud because it only got us to Wall Drug so we went to Rapid City, SD for another vw starter, which got us to somewhere in montana when the engine starts a god awful clattering diagnosed in Boise I think as the valves in the head in which the plug kept blowing out, which we are advised should be replaced when we get home. when we get there we realize we are 1,000 miles out of warranty, and we end up having to pay the labour and getting the head for free.Shortly after this we sold it. The guy who bought it was blown away by what a beautiful van it was with only 12k on a factory block and was barely interested in our warnings about the starter.. I sure hope he got half as much enjoyment out of it as we did, and we did, believe me, in spite of my intimate knowledge of the inside of VW parts and service departments across the continent.
anyway, that's my story...
Um,.......
WOW!
Explains why you can be a bit gun-shy, no?...
WOW!
Explains why you can be a bit gun-shy, no?...
Well, here goes...
I bought my first Cruiser in 1995 in Yuma, AZ. I had already been a Marine stationed there for a few years and drove the Chevy Cavalier that I had had since high school. The '78 FJ40 sat in the sand next to a local communications shop by the Wal-Mart. At the time I really had no idea what it was - but it was different. It called to me. It definitely wasn't a J**p – those were a dime-a-dozen.
I took it for a test drive - getting it stuck in the sand where it sat immediately. The gentleman selling the truck showed me how to engage the hubs and shift into four-wheel drive…and we crawled right out.
I soon sold the Cavalier and made the FJ40 my daily driver. It wasn’t long before the Cruiser opened my eyes to the world of the southwestern desert and four-wheeling.
In 1998 my enlistment was up and I moved with my Girlfriend back to my home state of Florida. The Cruiser dutifully rode on the trailer towed by the U-Haul truck with all of our worldly possessions. Once back in my native state, I saw the odometer roll over – perhaps for its second time – who really knows.
At this point, I was only vaguely aware of the larger community of CruiserHeads that was out there. I was soon contacted by some friendly folks in the Florida Land Cruiser Association and joined both the FLCA and the TLCA soon after.
The FLCA opened my eyes to the true capability of the Toyota Land Cruiser. I discovered the World Wide Web and all that it had to offer as well. So many suppliers for parts and accessories and websites like IH8MUD where we can come together and swap stories, tips and tricks.
By 2004 I was a regular lurker on ‘MUD – occasionally chiming in with some information that I had. I am by no means as seasoned a wheeler as some, but I’m working on it – all I need is time.
The FJ40 was changing. The hard top sat in a dusty corner of the garage and things like mini-truck power steering, an Aussie Locker, dual batteries and a winch had found there way onto the Cruiser. I went to my first GSMTR like this – still with the original stock suspension and 31-inch AT’s. I had a blast and the Cruiser got pounded!
Later that year I purchased my second Cruiser – a 1991 FJ80. This Cruiser was already lifted and sported fairly new 35-inch MTRs. The FJ40 sat in the garage while I wheeled the FJ80 at the Alpha Pit with the Velveeta-driving surfer. Soon the locker was removed from the FJ40 and transplanted into the FJ80 and the Alpha Pit called again…and again.
Today there are 3 Toyotas in the driveway. Two Land Cruisers and a Tundra. I wouldn’t have it any other way – except to add more Cruisers.
As I get ready for the 2006 GSMTR, the FJ40 sits on jack stands in the garage waiting for it’s new suspension. It’s about time. Work begins on the one that started it all and it will be a great trip to Tellico this year.
Happy New Year everyone!
Eric
I bought my first Cruiser in 1995 in Yuma, AZ. I had already been a Marine stationed there for a few years and drove the Chevy Cavalier that I had had since high school. The '78 FJ40 sat in the sand next to a local communications shop by the Wal-Mart. At the time I really had no idea what it was - but it was different. It called to me. It definitely wasn't a J**p – those were a dime-a-dozen.
I took it for a test drive - getting it stuck in the sand where it sat immediately. The gentleman selling the truck showed me how to engage the hubs and shift into four-wheel drive…and we crawled right out.
I soon sold the Cavalier and made the FJ40 my daily driver. It wasn’t long before the Cruiser opened my eyes to the world of the southwestern desert and four-wheeling.
In 1998 my enlistment was up and I moved with my Girlfriend back to my home state of Florida. The Cruiser dutifully rode on the trailer towed by the U-Haul truck with all of our worldly possessions. Once back in my native state, I saw the odometer roll over – perhaps for its second time – who really knows.
At this point, I was only vaguely aware of the larger community of CruiserHeads that was out there. I was soon contacted by some friendly folks in the Florida Land Cruiser Association and joined both the FLCA and the TLCA soon after.
The FLCA opened my eyes to the true capability of the Toyota Land Cruiser. I discovered the World Wide Web and all that it had to offer as well. So many suppliers for parts and accessories and websites like IH8MUD where we can come together and swap stories, tips and tricks.
By 2004 I was a regular lurker on ‘MUD – occasionally chiming in with some information that I had. I am by no means as seasoned a wheeler as some, but I’m working on it – all I need is time.
The FJ40 was changing. The hard top sat in a dusty corner of the garage and things like mini-truck power steering, an Aussie Locker, dual batteries and a winch had found there way onto the Cruiser. I went to my first GSMTR like this – still with the original stock suspension and 31-inch AT’s. I had a blast and the Cruiser got pounded!
Later that year I purchased my second Cruiser – a 1991 FJ80. This Cruiser was already lifted and sported fairly new 35-inch MTRs. The FJ40 sat in the garage while I wheeled the FJ80 at the Alpha Pit with the Velveeta-driving surfer. Soon the locker was removed from the FJ40 and transplanted into the FJ80 and the Alpha Pit called again…and again.
Today there are 3 Toyotas in the driveway. Two Land Cruisers and a Tundra. I wouldn’t have it any other way – except to add more Cruisers.
As I get ready for the 2006 GSMTR, the FJ40 sits on jack stands in the garage waiting for it’s new suspension. It’s about time. Work begins on the one that started it all and it will be a great trip to Tellico this year.
Happy New Year everyone!
Eric
well, haven't read the above yet (not fully recovered from a lengthy Hawaii trip), but this should do it as far as truth in reporting:
As we all know, Dan is a handsome devil, he is the original He-man, he could woo ladies from far and away if he so chose, he could rock crawl up the Everest unlocked, and I'm told that if he'd drop his drawers, you would all snivel away in shame...!
As we all know, Dan is a handsome devil, he is the original He-man, he could woo ladies from far and away if he so chose, he could rock crawl up the Everest unlocked, and I'm told that if he'd drop his drawers, you would all snivel away in shame...!
C-Dan's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
C-Dan does not sleep. He waits.
C-Dan does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. C-Dan goes killing. With the finest battle instrument ever devised, after C-Dan himself, of course.
C-Dan is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see C-Dan, he can see you. If you can't see C-Dan you may be only seconds away from death.
The chief export of American Toyota's Parts Department is pain.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. C-Dan smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
C-Dan sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled parts procurement ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Dan bitch slapped the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
C-Dan built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Dan met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
A blind man once stepped on C-Dan's shoe. Dan replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm CruiserDan!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by C-Dan.
C-Dan always has sex on the first date. Always.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for C-Dan
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, C-Dan can actually get you parts yesterday.
When C-Dan sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. C-Dan has not had to pay taxes ever.
As a teen C-dan impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Ch-Dan once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to C-Dan and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
C-Dan counted to infinity - twice.
C-Dan doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
C-Dan is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f'n Indian.
If C-Dan is late, time better slow the f--- down.
C-Dan sleeps with a night light. Not because C-Dan is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of C-Dan
Someone once tried to tell C-Dan that OEM parts aren't worth the money. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
A recent poll discovered 93% of women think about -Dan during sex. A similar poll discovered C-Dan thinks about C-Dan 100% of the time during sex.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with C-Dan's fist.
C-Dan is not hung like a horse... horses wish they were hung like C-Dan
When C-Dan was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" C-Dan received an "A+" for writing only the words "C-Dan" and promptly turning in the paper.
C-Dan does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
When Dan was born, the first thing he did was have relations with the nurse. It was the third time he had had sex.
Shamelessly stolen and therefore should be ineligible for prizes.
C-Dan does not sleep. He waits.
C-Dan does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. C-Dan goes killing. With the finest battle instrument ever devised, after C-Dan himself, of course.
C-Dan is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see C-Dan, he can see you. If you can't see C-Dan you may be only seconds away from death.
The chief export of American Toyota's Parts Department is pain.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. C-Dan smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
C-Dan sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled parts procurement ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Dan bitch slapped the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
C-Dan built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Dan met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
A blind man once stepped on C-Dan's shoe. Dan replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm CruiserDan!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by C-Dan.
C-Dan always has sex on the first date. Always.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for C-Dan
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, C-Dan can actually get you parts yesterday.
When C-Dan sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. C-Dan has not had to pay taxes ever.
As a teen C-dan impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Ch-Dan once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to C-Dan and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
C-Dan counted to infinity - twice.
C-Dan doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
C-Dan is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f'n Indian.
If C-Dan is late, time better slow the f--- down.
C-Dan sleeps with a night light. Not because C-Dan is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of C-Dan
Someone once tried to tell C-Dan that OEM parts aren't worth the money. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
A recent poll discovered 93% of women think about -Dan during sex. A similar poll discovered C-Dan thinks about C-Dan 100% of the time during sex.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with C-Dan's fist.
C-Dan is not hung like a horse... horses wish they were hung like C-Dan
When C-Dan was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" C-Dan received an "A+" for writing only the words "C-Dan" and promptly turning in the paper.
C-Dan does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
When Dan was born, the first thing he did was have relations with the nurse. It was the third time he had had sex.
Shamelessly stolen and therefore should be ineligible for prizes.
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It's not Booty friday. We didn't need to see that for another three days.
Is that the truck that's balanced on a pin head or a pin head that's balanced on a truck?
Is that the truck that's balanced on a pin head or a pin head that's balanced on a truck?
Dammit Todd,
I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard...
I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard...
Dear C-Dan,
You might remember me from Cruise Moab 2005 where we first became acuainted. Ever since that magical getaway my life has become focused. My head became filled not with what to wear on my dates with 'tards or where i would plug in a blow dryer in the desert, but on acquiring and modifying my very own rig!
Lucky for me my father could help me out with my mission. I'm very fortunate to have Romer as a daddy who helkped to get me started with my '99 4 runner. but, at what point do i start changing my own oil instead of following step by step directions from my clean, lounging, beer sippin' cigar smokin father? when do i step out of the shadow of daughter-of and become my own Romer?
Well this is the perfect opportunity! my head is filled with mods and possibilities, but sadly my meager paycheck can barely cover my cost of living and mascara. You should award this prize to me because it would provide such a great start to my newfound life-long hobby and then i could stop spending such a huge chunk of time begging daddy for cruiser stuff, because Dan, i'm not gunna lie, i dont do slave-labor around the Romer house out of the goodness of my heart! (shocking i know)
I would appreciate the prize so much, and honestly dont you want to make this bright eyed little girls dreams of a bad-ass 4runner come true?!
Rachel
You might remember me from Cruise Moab 2005 where we first became acuainted. Ever since that magical getaway my life has become focused. My head became filled not with what to wear on my dates with 'tards or where i would plug in a blow dryer in the desert, but on acquiring and modifying my very own rig!
Lucky for me my father could help me out with my mission. I'm very fortunate to have Romer as a daddy who helkped to get me started with my '99 4 runner. but, at what point do i start changing my own oil instead of following step by step directions from my clean, lounging, beer sippin' cigar smokin father? when do i step out of the shadow of daughter-of and become my own Romer?
Well this is the perfect opportunity! my head is filled with mods and possibilities, but sadly my meager paycheck can barely cover my cost of living and mascara. You should award this prize to me because it would provide such a great start to my newfound life-long hobby and then i could stop spending such a huge chunk of time begging daddy for cruiser stuff, because Dan, i'm not gunna lie, i dont do slave-labor around the Romer house out of the goodness of my heart! (shocking i know)
I would appreciate the prize so much, and honestly dont you want to make this bright eyed little girls dreams of a bad-ass 4runner come true?!
Rachel
- Thread starter
- #112
daughterofromer said:Dear C-Dan,
I'm very fortunate to have Romer as a daddy
sniff sniff sniff - That's the best essay I have seen here so far
Romer said:sniff sniff sniff - That's the best essay I have seen here so far
Ya, especially the part about "my clean, lounging, beer sippin' cigar smokin father?"
Sniff sniff sniff yea i see discrimination nowe9999 said:Discrimination!!!!!!!!!!!
Enjoy, Cdan thanks for the chance
Through times of eminent doubt, confusion, and “real time” turmoil I can be confident in the Landcruiser family that is Ih8mud. We all come together at this watering hole/mud pit on the internet and we share our stories and lives through our vehicles. Just as with any family there are those who joke, some have the answer to any problem, and others ask more questions than there are answers to, but in the end we have all been brought together under a common bond and understanding; that the Toyota Landcruiser is thee best Automobile ever manufactured.
At the tender age of 23, the Toyota Landcruiser, particularly the Fj/Fzj80 has been a part of my family for over 12 years. My parents had a white 93 80 series locked and loaded for 3 years before leasing a second 80, a 1996 this time unlocked unfortunately (one of you probably own the 93). When the lease for the 96 was up and my parents decided to return it I was heart broken. I was not yet member of mud or even knew of what the truck was capable of, but I loved it. A summer job gave me enough cash to find my 80 still sitting in the Toyota lot in North Hollywood and re lease it. So the story goes and I finally bought my truck a few years back.
We all have love for our trucks. We have all had the thought briefly cross our minds, “why am I doing this? Should I sell this thing, during the times we have HG issues, CEL turning on, weird smoke from the pipes, and odd noises from god knows where, but we don’t. This contest is a means of motivation for me. It keeps the spark going in a time where there are bills I need to pay with money I don’t have, but I don’t worry because things are gonna be just fine. Being given the opportunity to participate in such a fashion with you all my second family is rewarding enough. The prize is of course a nice gesture, but solely supplemental to the experience of hearing everyone’s stories and taking small glimpses into the lives of everyone on this board through your trucks (sometimes too much info).
Everyone always talks about “the children are the future” and that “we must invest in the future through providing and educating the “younger generation,” well there is no better means of showing that through choosing this essay as the representation and livelihood of the Toyota Landcruiser as it pertains to its future market and generation.
Happy Holidays and Thank you
Sam
Through times of eminent doubt, confusion, and “real time” turmoil I can be confident in the Landcruiser family that is Ih8mud. We all come together at this watering hole/mud pit on the internet and we share our stories and lives through our vehicles. Just as with any family there are those who joke, some have the answer to any problem, and others ask more questions than there are answers to, but in the end we have all been brought together under a common bond and understanding; that the Toyota Landcruiser is thee best Automobile ever manufactured.
At the tender age of 23, the Toyota Landcruiser, particularly the Fj/Fzj80 has been a part of my family for over 12 years. My parents had a white 93 80 series locked and loaded for 3 years before leasing a second 80, a 1996 this time unlocked unfortunately (one of you probably own the 93). When the lease for the 96 was up and my parents decided to return it I was heart broken. I was not yet member of mud or even knew of what the truck was capable of, but I loved it. A summer job gave me enough cash to find my 80 still sitting in the Toyota lot in North Hollywood and re lease it. So the story goes and I finally bought my truck a few years back.
We all have love for our trucks. We have all had the thought briefly cross our minds, “why am I doing this? Should I sell this thing, during the times we have HG issues, CEL turning on, weird smoke from the pipes, and odd noises from god knows where, but we don’t. This contest is a means of motivation for me. It keeps the spark going in a time where there are bills I need to pay with money I don’t have, but I don’t worry because things are gonna be just fine. Being given the opportunity to participate in such a fashion with you all my second family is rewarding enough. The prize is of course a nice gesture, but solely supplemental to the experience of hearing everyone’s stories and taking small glimpses into the lives of everyone on this board through your trucks (sometimes too much info).
Everyone always talks about “the children are the future” and that “we must invest in the future through providing and educating the “younger generation,” well there is no better means of showing that through choosing this essay as the representation and livelihood of the Toyota Landcruiser as it pertains to its future market and generation.
Happy Holidays and Thank you
Sam
e9999 said:oh, great! if the ladies come into the picture, now we regular chumps got no chance at all of winning....!
Discrimination!!!!!!!!!!!
if only CDan could see me making sad puppy face now.....
Well I thought about sitting down and penning (that is what they call it right?) a master piece of work to receive this award...but after reading Gumby's and DO-Romer.....my time would be better spent attempting to clean the graffitii off every building in every major metropolitan neighborhood in the world...or counting the grains of sand on every beach around the world...or....you get the picture?
So all I got is....Dan - thanks to the best parts guy I have ever met - no matter what make of vehicle - you go above and beyond daily. Thank you for all the help and money you have saved me and everyone else on Ih8mud. :tear:
So all I got is....Dan - thanks to the best parts guy I have ever met - no matter what make of vehicle - you go above and beyond daily. Thank you for all the help and money you have saved me and everyone else on Ih8mud. :tear:
Dear Mr. Dan:
My name is Isabelle Ali and the doctor says that I should be born in just six weeks, on February 13th. Personally, I’m thinking that I’ll make my entrance whenever I damn well feel like it.
Anyway, I thought that that this would be a good time for me to introduce myself since according to my parents, you and your wife are part of the reason that I exist. Got your attention now, don’t I?? You see, my mom was kinda stressed out about trying to have a kid at the age of 37 and my dad, at 38, wasn’t all that relaxed about it either. But then dad took mom to Moab in May of this year where she met your wife, Sara and your two kids. Sara was super nice to mom and gave her lots of vodka and a couple of really good pep talks about how being older parents is really cool because you know so much and feel really ready and that kind of stuff. It sounds like Sara really made mom feel better which made her give dad her own version of a pep talk: “you know babe, if an old stud like Dan can produce two kids, you should be able to pull it off too..” Wouldn’t you know it, for Fathers Day on June 19th, mom handed dad the positive pregnancy test. Then she went and threw up. It was all terribly romantic…….
So you see, I think it’s safe to say that you served as a sort of inspiration to my dad just as Sara was an inspiration to my mom. This makes you indirectly/partially responsible for my conception which, in turn, makes you indirectly/partially responsible for my safety. Basically, my daddy needs the $100 to help make the cruiser a more baby-friendly and safe place for me to be and you need to fork it over. It’s just the right thing to do.
Did I mention how cute I plan on being and how I will own a set of toy tools long before I’ll own some silly doll? Unless of course, daddy can’t afford to make the truck baby- friendly enough for mom to allow him to take me along on wheeling events. I’ll end up learning how to shop and paint my nails instead of learning about locking hubs and proper winching techniques. A damn travesty is what it would be. All your fault too.
I leave you with the question: “which kind of woman do you want your boys to come home with someday???”
My name is Isabelle Ali and the doctor says that I should be born in just six weeks, on February 13th. Personally, I’m thinking that I’ll make my entrance whenever I damn well feel like it.
Anyway, I thought that that this would be a good time for me to introduce myself since according to my parents, you and your wife are part of the reason that I exist. Got your attention now, don’t I?? You see, my mom was kinda stressed out about trying to have a kid at the age of 37 and my dad, at 38, wasn’t all that relaxed about it either. But then dad took mom to Moab in May of this year where she met your wife, Sara and your two kids. Sara was super nice to mom and gave her lots of vodka and a couple of really good pep talks about how being older parents is really cool because you know so much and feel really ready and that kind of stuff. It sounds like Sara really made mom feel better which made her give dad her own version of a pep talk: “you know babe, if an old stud like Dan can produce two kids, you should be able to pull it off too..” Wouldn’t you know it, for Fathers Day on June 19th, mom handed dad the positive pregnancy test. Then she went and threw up. It was all terribly romantic…….
So you see, I think it’s safe to say that you served as a sort of inspiration to my dad just as Sara was an inspiration to my mom. This makes you indirectly/partially responsible for my conception which, in turn, makes you indirectly/partially responsible for my safety. Basically, my daddy needs the $100 to help make the cruiser a more baby-friendly and safe place for me to be and you need to fork it over. It’s just the right thing to do.
Did I mention how cute I plan on being and how I will own a set of toy tools long before I’ll own some silly doll? Unless of course, daddy can’t afford to make the truck baby- friendly enough for mom to allow him to take me along on wheeling events. I’ll end up learning how to shop and paint my nails instead of learning about locking hubs and proper winching techniques. A damn travesty is what it would be. All your fault too.
I leave you with the question: “which kind of woman do you want your boys to come home with someday???”