A hundred dollars worth of OEM parts? From CruiserDan?
Sorry guys, but I'm going to have to take the gloves off for this. Please, don't take offense, but we're talking about a hundred dollars here.
Before I get too deep into why I might be better suited to win, I'd like to start by stating who I think should NOT win this contest. Let's narrow down the field a bit. Remove the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.
First of all, CruiserDan represents American Toyota. Not North American Toyota. Not Central or South American Toyota. Folks, please don't take this the wrong way, but I personally feel that anyone not living in the United States of America should not be eligible to win. Come on, let's be realistic about this -- do you really want to deal with customs? Shipping across borders is a royal pain in the rear. Conversion of loonies, pesos, bolivianos, or yen to dollars? Honestly, besides Christo, who can quickly convert dollars to rands? No, let's keep this simple...let's keep this in America. Now, before you get your toques in a bunch -- this doesn't mean you Canadians, Norwegians, or Panamanians can't participate; by all means, submit your essays! But if you want to win, you better find a way to get inside our borders before the end of this year -- if you're serious about it, you'd better start packing now.
Next...moderators. Sorry guys. I know you do a great job and are rarely thanked enough for the job you do. We love you guys here, we really do. But I don't think moderators should be allowed to participate. If one of you won, people might think something fishy happened. I'm not saying that the allegations would be true. No, I know, in my heart, that nothing could be farther from the truth. I know that CruiserDan is an upstanding forum member and a gentleman -- he would never do anything sneaky or underhanded...but I'm sure you guys can see how it might look to some people. No, they wouldn't come out and post it, but I'm sure many would think, "Oh...a moderator won again...greeeeeaaaaat...". Besides, most contests have a "employee, family members of employees, sponsors, etc." non-eligibility-type-clause. Seems pretty much like a standard clause for most contests these days.
White and Gold Stars. Don't have one? Then you can't win. I don't think a person without a star should be eligible for the prize. As I see it, no star equals no commitment to the forum. With this forum being the single best technical resource anywhere on the internet for Land Cruisers, in my humble opinion, a person who displays no commitment to this forum tells me that they have no commitment to the upkeep of their Land Cruiser. This is not the type of person who deserves to win.
Women. Ladies, I love you all and sincerely appreciate all you do, so please, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think you should be eligible either. Allowing you to participate will only encourage more women to join in this activity. Sometimes guys just need an escape. A place to go or a thing to do where there's just other guys around. Way back when, we men had "the hunt". We hunted, you ladies gathered. This was a good thing. We could "scratch ourselves", burp, fart...do whatever we wanted to do, during "the hunt". Times have changed. We no longer have "the hunt". But that hasn't changed is the fact that we still need "the hunt" -- we still need something that we can do..with just the guys. We used to be able to escape by watching sports -- back in the old days when women didn't give a lick about sports. It was nice back then...a guy could lose himself in the action on the diamond, on the gridiron, or within the turnbuckles without distraction. But slowly, you all found a way to creep into this world. Female sports fans? Meh. We men NEED this. This activity needs to remain a MAN thing. You have your thing -- you don't see us butting into your bunco group do you? It's not that we don't want to play bunco...it's just that we understand and appreciate your instinctual need "to gather". Please, let us have this.
There. That should help to narrow the field a bit.
Why am I deserving of winning the prize? To be honest, I don't know that I can give a reason that's any better than what others might give. I'm sure others here might think that they could put this prize to as good a use as I know I can. I have a list of parts that I need, but I won't bore you with the details. I could argue that I have twice the needs of some of you since I have two 80s to maintain, but none of you really care about that.
All I can really say is that I'd like to win.
Maybe a little more than the next guy.
So, no bribes. No sob stories. No weak cut-n-paste jobs (come one guys...REALLY...you ought to be ashamed of yourselves!).
I appreciate your consideration in selecting myself as the winner.
Cheers!
Doug
Now...let me figure out a way to get Shahram and Garth onto The Ultimate Thread over there in the Chat forum...if I can keep them occupied long enough, they might not have time to enter. White Shark is already there...
Maybe a pit bull thread will keep him distracted long enough...hmmmm...
<DISCLAIMER: The above statements are not necessarily the opinions of the author but merely a submission of prose for consideration in a contest. These statements should, in no way, be should interpreted as being those of the site owner, forum moderators, the contest judge, or any forum members. The statements do not represent the rules of this contest; they should not be interpreted as being such...yadda, yadda, yadda...>
. Part of these donated fund were also ear marked for the medical bills of unfortunate owners who get the sh!t... opps... I mean the fire bitten out of their hand by the poor little mangled pooch.
