Mark's Off Road Warehouse Fire Thread (5 Viewers)

[1911]

The best laid plans...

Today already marked a very special day, as it was four years ago today that the fire happened in the warehouse. I was planning on writing something special either late tomorrow or possibly even Thursday. Why then and not today? Because I would hopefully have some more good news to share. Even shared that plan with a couple of people like @StaleAle.

What changed? Mom died a couple of hours ago.

When I visited her Sunday I told her today would be the anniversary of the fire. She gave me a strange look. But with her general cognitive decline, it didn’t mean anything in particular. But now I have two reasons to remember this date.

s

Sorry for your loss Mark.

 

[ArizonaFJ]

My condolences, Mark. Wishing you and your family the best while you get through this.

 

[DSB345]

I am so sorry to hear of your moms passing, Mark.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. She's in a better place now. God speed!

 

[tlaporte]

So sorry to hear, Mark.

Cherish your memories

 

[Michael B]

My condolences sir. I’m very sorry for your loss.

 

[thebigredrocker]

Thinking of you, your family, and your wonderful mom.

 

[65swb45]

Thanks to all who stopped by this thread in the last two days. My head is spinning with everything going on right now, so I’m glad of having decided to close the shop for the rest of the week. The funeral is today.

Interesting times. We wondered how weddings and funerals were handled in a pandemic; well I guess we’re finding out about one of those. The mortuary is out altogether. The cemetary is closed. Mom had a pre-need arrangement, so the cemetary must make an accommodation. They will open a side gate at a predetermined time. There will be a checklist of attendees. When the Hearse arrives, we are to follow it, and get checked off the list.

In the Jewish tradition it is customary for mourners to toss dirt from the graveside onto the coffin after it is lowered into the ground. But because of Covid, the cemetary will not be providing shovels. So this is a BYOS event. Where does this madness end?

As you might expect, I have slept poorly. Picked up my phone at 4 am to see that my sister texted at 11pm about me giving a speech at the graveside. Honestly, I put it out of mind when I was told the mortuary was cancelled. And yesterday was not the day of reflection it might have been for some.

I had already made plans two weeks ago to continue my distance training with a bike ride to Oceanside, 100 miles away. So the ride just became a memorial ride, complete with the memory of how upset my mom was when I crashed my bike and almost died 40 years ago, while she was away on vacation. I spent most of the ride just being in the here and now, occasionally telling my mom through teary eyes that I would be careful. But no speechworthy thoughts.

I come from a long line of storytellers, and I while I have bragged about my grandfather and my dad before, my mom was a good storyteller too. I am thinking I may just share the following at the graveside.

My mother was born and raised in a poor part of London, and grew up amidst the bombing raids of WWII. One morning after a bombing my mom was playing hide and seek with one of her cousins. She hid underneath one of the appliances in the kitchen, all of which had legs in those days. From her vantage she could see THROUGH the gap under the door to the outside, and she could tell there were a number of people standing across the street from their house.

She and her cousin went outside and saw that all the people were looking at their house. So they went across the street. From there, they could see that a bomb had landed squarely in their chimney!

It wasn’t her day to die.

 

[HKforte]

Thanks to all who stopped by this thread in the last two days. My head is spinning with everything going on right now, so I’m glad of having decided to close the shop for the rest of the week. The funeral is today.

Interesting times. We wondered how weddings and funerals were handled in a pandemic; well I guess we’re finding out about one of those. The mortuary is out altogether. The cemetary is closed. Mom had a pre-need arrangement, so the cemetary must make an accommodation. They will open a side gate at a predetermined time. There will be a checklist of attendees. When the Hearse arrives, we are to follow it, and get checked off the list.

In the Jewish tradition it is customary for mourners to toss dirt from the graveside onto the coffin after it is lowered into the ground. But because of Covid, the cemetary will not be providing shovels. So this is a BYOS event. Where does this madness end?

As you might expect, I have slept poorly. Picked up my phone at 4 am to see that my sister texted at 11pm about me giving a speech at the graveside. Honestly, I put it out of mind when I was told the mortuary was cancelled. And yesterday was not the day of reflection it might have been for some.

I had already made plans two weeks ago to continue my distance training with a bike ride to Oceanside, 100 miles away. So the ride just became a memorial ride, complete with the memory of how upset my mom was when I crashed my bike and almost died 40 years ago, while she was away on vacation. I spent most of the ride just being in the here and now, occasionally telling my mom through teary eyes that I would be careful. But no speechworthy thoughts.

I come from a long line of storytellers, and I while I have bragged about my grandfather and my dad before, my mom was a good storyteller too. I am thinking I may just share the following later.

My mother was born and raised in a poor part of London, and grew up amidst the bombing raids of WWII. One morning after a bombing my mom was playing hide and seek with one of her cousins. She hid underneath one of the appliances in the kitchen, all of which had legs in those days. From her vantage she could see THROUGH the gap under the door, and could tell there were a number of people standing across the street from their house.

She and her cousin went outside and saw that all the people were looking at their house. So they went across the street. From there, they could see that a bomb had landed squarely in their chimney!

It wasn’t her day to die.

Mark - Very saddened to hear about your loss. Wishing you and your family lots of love and strength during this difficult time.

 

[SharpeCat]

Deleted per marks request.

 

[SharpeCat]

I don’t know you...and I’m sure you mean well, but...please remove your post.

Done. The whole point I wanted to make is that you will see her again, and that she wouldn’t want to see you like this. I’m sorry if it came across the wrong way and I wish you the best brother.

 

[65swb45]

Tears of Joy



Shortly after I woke up this morning I started bawling again. The difference was, today my tears were tears of pure joy.



Many years ago Tina told me that the first time she went to Disneyland she bawled on the ‘It’s a small world’ ride because she had never seen anything so beautiful. I tucked this away in my mental file cabinet, just like when my dad told me the story about passion. Well, today, I finally had my ‘vision.’



My parents told us on many occasions that they had met at a YMCA in Toronto, where they both enjoyed dancing. My mother was 5’9”, and often times had a hard time finding tall men to dance with. Among his other attributes, my father was 5’11”.



Today I was completely overcome with the beautiful image of the two of them finally being able to dance together again, in the vigorous bodies of their youth. I have never seen anything so beautiful in my life. Before the struggles of marriage, parenthood, home ownership, yada, yada. Just two young people in the dance of life.



Through the miracle of modern technology I am able to simply wipe away the tears from the screen of my iPad that would have ruined any piece of paper I tried to put this on.

(this was one of four pictures my father carried in his wallet.) I was 16 at the time.

 

[whitey45]

Mark, be happy you had your parents as long as you did, lost my dad at 4 years of age, and now my mom(78) is having a lot of health issues. We have been best friends and it’s hard to imagine loosing her( never remarried and lived for my sister and I) I know the day is coming, and some of your writings and thoughts really help! Sorry to hear of your loss, prayers for you and your family.

 

[65swb45]

Mark, be happy you had your parents as long as you did, lost my dad at 4 years of age, and now my mom(78) is having a lot of health issues. We have been best friends and it’s hard to imagine loosing her( never remarried and lived for my sister and I) I know the day is coming, and some of your writings and thoughts really help! Sorry to hear of your loss, prayers for you and your family.

Thanks for your words Brian. In this crazy world, one of my many aptitudes has been not only to have an occasional gift for words, but to have found an outlet to share them with a receptive audience. A lot of my wisdom has come from a lifetime of introspection. But I have met similar who never found an outlet for theirs. When I can, I share their stories too.

With regards to all the condolences, all I can say is that maybe I’m still in shock, but I have to tell you my heart is light. My mother was always a pillar of strength and dignity. Once she lost those six months ago, I wished nothing for her but a quick and peaceful end. I would wish the same for anyone. While both my sisters wished the same, they were not as ready to let her go. And my mother was cognizant of that difference between us to the end.

I know I was very fortunate to have both my parents until I was 38. My dad lost his mom at 7, my mother lost both her parents by the time she was 17, and my wife lost her dad when she was 10. My father was an enormous source of guidance (occasionally crude) for me, so I cant imagine growing up without one. But as I ended up saying spontaneously at her graveside, it was my mother’s confidence in me during the early, formative years that I consider to be my first ‘opportunity’ in a lifetime of opportunities.

 

[65swb45]

BTW, if you’d like to see some more, I have a couple of good postings in the Rigger thread in chat.

 

[Greek Cruiserhead]

May the Lord rest her soul in peace.

 

[pjohnson]

Mark, my condolences and prayers for you and your family.

My wife and I celebrate our parent's birthdays every year rather than the day of their passing. Helps us to celebrate the gift rather than the loss.

 

[Zaicran]

So sorry for your loss. In 2018, I lost both of my parents within 90 days of each other. It sucks.

 

[1911]

With regards to all the condolences, all I can say is that maybe I’m still in shock, but I have to tell you my heart is light. My mother was always a pillar of strength and dignity. Once she lost those six months ago, I wished nothing for her but a quick and peaceful end. I would wish the same for anyone. While both my sisters wished the same, they were not as ready to let her go.

Mark I felt the same way after taking care of my dad for five years as he slowly died from Alzheimer's/dementia; it was a blessing for him to finally be able to go. But I have to be careful about expressing that to most people, because many do not agree or don't understand. I'm glad that you were able to get there and feel that way about it.

 

[65swb45]

On a much happier note:

 

[65swb45]

The bright spots in my day!

My daughter, who watched the funeral along with about 60 friends and relatives around the world, came out of isolation to have lunch with us in a public park a week ago Friday. It was very nice to see her.

I had another good bawl this morning. I went back to the house I grew up in to get the last of my things out of the garage (yes, my top secret ‘remote storage‘ was the garage of the house I grew up in! It’s a long story). We will be selling the property very soon, as it is one of my jobs as executor/trustee. Well, my mom had told me the character of the neighborhood was changing, and I’d seen a couple of McMansions built on the next street in the past few years . But I was completely unprepared for what has been built directly next door, apparently in the last six months since I was last there.