NEW SHOCKS!!! OMG I got my workbench back. This was a pretty easy job, swapping them out. Took about 2-3 hours tops including cleanup and going slow.

Also found my cricket - there’s a dowel-shaped metal cylinder that sits on top of the rag joint that is squeaking against the plate that has the pinch bolt attached to the upper part of the steering column. Figuring either 1 - the rag joint is shot, or 2 - just get a rubber jimmy hat for the, uh, shaft. Going with #2 for now, look into replacing the rag joint later.
Time for some pix!
Old and new - old looks like they were original to the car (!!!) On the rears, obvious but maybe not - I just pulled the whole top part and installed it on the bench, then depressed the shock and installed really quick while it rebounded. Worked a charm. Old vs new, showing the bracket that the top part bolts to before installing the new shock, check the trick rock shield on the new shock, this points toward the front of the rig:
Old and busted front shocks and assorted shot rubber bushes. I have no idea how long they were in for, but they were done. These were super easy, used a crowfoot ratchet attachment to get under the brake booster on the driver’s side. Torqued to spec.
That’s about it, pretty productive day all considered. New HT radio too, Yaesu FT3D!