Thanks FJ81!
Thought I’d also share the rest of the story since it became a lesson in humility and perseverance.
After researching every last option here on Mud and on the web (GTP, Lumina, Heep, Pullmax, myriad fender vents, buncha big ol’ circular holes drilled in the hood, etc.), and then watching entirely too many shows on the Velocity channel, I decided to shoot for the moon and copy the design of the hood vents from a Brabus Mercedes like this:
Knowing my limitations, I tried desperately to find anyone and I mean ANYONE that I could pay with professional experience to do this instead of me (I spoke with Citadel’s paint/body guy here in Dallas. He said he’d call me back. He didn’t. Smart man.) So I said fawk it and jumped in. They say that if you’re going to fail, you should fail fast so without even trying, I did just that. After 100 or so hours of design work in PowerPoint later to copy the Brabus vents, I had something that would fit the triangle in the 80 hood where everyone had been putting their vents. Drilling the first pilot hole in a perfectly good hood took a few tequila shots (I recommend reposado) so there was no turning back. The next hole would be one of the 3/8” holes on either side of each vent that I would join with jigsaw cuts and/or metal shears. Unfortunately, the drill bit wandered slightly from the pilot hole, throwing the entire design off while also warping the hood metal. It literally looked like a bullet hole where someone shot the hood. So several mid-project, post-bullet-hole design changes later, I pivoted to a DIY solution that I came across online that a guy did to his Honda S2000 and things worked out, only I used wire mesh like the Brabus design instead the perforated aluminum that he used:
DIY: Vented Aluminum Hood - S2KI Honda S2000 Forums
The cost was $12 for a fresh bottle of Lexus 202 touch-up paint, about $20 for some grill scraps from customcargrills.com that already came painted in gloss black, $20 for some new fine-tooth jigsaw blades, $20 for a step bit (lesson learned) to drill the corner holes for the jigsaw, and then $10 or so for the double sided emblem tape.
Compared with the Pontiac GTP or other drop-in vents, the major caveat is that the cuts you make in the hood are visible to God and everyone. Fortunately, more than a few hours with my Dremel allowed me to straighten up the cuts pretty nicely.