The Heinous Truck in the Magnificent Desert - Big Bend 2017 (1 Viewer)

Is fireman's BBT an insult to the cruiser community?

  • Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Hell Yes

    Votes: 16 100.0%

  • Total voters
    16

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As Run PMC Esquire mentioned, I did wake up pretty early that morning. I had taken some 4R up to the room and might have over indulged, which resulted in me waking up in a bit of a fog about 6a.

First thing I did when I woke up was check on Lou's position (we had all shared our GPS locations prior to leaving, because well, that's what us EAFers do), and it showed him about a mile away. Not really trusting things at that point, I showered to clear the cobwebs, got dressed and packed, then checked again. Sure enough, it showed Lou was in Ft Davis.

So I grabbed my stuff and headed down. Sure enough, there was Chef Lou's truck. Problem was, I couldn't tell if he was in there because of his gangstered out windows. Knowing he drove all night and not wanting to risk waking him up, I grabbed Trudy out of the truck and went for a walk.

When I returned, it wasn't Lou that I found milling around the rigs...it was a middle aged gray haired lady dressed in outdoor / ranger gear. She was...interesting and talkative. Turns out she was formerly a ranger at Big Bend Ranch State Park, and was immensely interested in our trucks. Diedre was her name, from New Orleans of all places. BUT she talked like a southern CA surfer hippie with a slight hint of The Dude from the Big Lebowski.

Here is a verbatim recap of the first 20 seconds of our encounter, which is immediately after I walk up:

Her: DUUUUUDE! Is one of these your rig?

Me: yeah, the middle white one

Her: awesome man! And these trailers are FxxxING COOOOOOOOL. And what's in these boxy tarps (the RTT)? Camping supplies and s***?!? And you guys have roof stuff and bumpers and oh man you have firewood in there and I see you brought a portable toilet and shelter that's badass!

Me: <pre-coffee stunned silence>

Her: Where are you guys headed, the state park or the natty? Go to the fxxxing state it's better I used to work there. Are you taking pavement or gravel in? Take gravel that s*** is way more awesome.......(and on and on)


Diedre and I actually wound up having a good chat, nice lady, and parted ways with her giving me a pointer to have breakfast across the street. Bout that time, chef Lou pops out of the truck and we flawlessly execute our secret EAF handshake and catch up for a few mins. We decide to grab breakfast while waiting on PMC, and Lou heads up to my room to get cleaned up first.

Bout that time, maybe a little before, around 8a, PMC awakens from his hibernation and we exchange texts, obviously agreeing on how EAF lou is.

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Lou walks back down, and we head across the street (on Diedre's recommendation) to grab breakfast. They had donuts, coffee, and mushroom quiche. Lou said 'I ain't eating that' and broke out. I ordered a coffee and donut, walking out 10 mins later and $10 dollars lighter.

By that time PMC had emerged outside, and we grabbed breakfast at a proper place, eating eggs, bacon, hasbrowns, pancakes, etc., and 30 mins later it's roll out time.

...hands the mic back to Run PMC Esquire
 
So, me/Lou/Andy hit the road south.... we gas up for the last time in Marfa (very cool town) and 20 miles later we exit the last pavement we will see for 160 miles.... We stop to air down (or up, as the case may be).... At this point, I discover that I have likely driven over 1000 miles with following air pressure readings in my trailer tires:

Driver: 60 psi - head scratcher, then

Passenger: 3. Yep 3.

Oh well....

So, we enter the park; kill some time on the trails; grab lunch; exchange a few hurried check-ins with family on the last dots of service we will have for 2 days (a nearby Mexican cell tower); and nervously hope that we will somehow meet up with the balance of our party later in the day.

Entering the park:

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Checking out some "permit required" spur trails on the way to the ranger station:

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Topping off the tank for the balance of the trip:

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After killing a couple of hours, we go to check in at the Sauceda ranger station and get our permits.

Here we are "greeted" by the park ranger. He was a fully-decorated solider with tactical flashlights, tazers, guns, pepper spray and a baton. He had a mustache that made Magnum PI look like a teenager with peach fuzz... In short, he was straight out of central casting for reno 911:

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He begins our orientation by telling us that: (a) we will go straight to jail if we drive in any special use areas without a permit (oops on the above) or any non-designated 4 * 4 trails; and (b) that the use, display or consumption of alcohol in the state park was illegal.

"You boys better not be out here to go on a booze cruise" (exact words).

We assured him we would stay on the designated roads and trails ..... and peeled out.
 
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After leaving the ranger station, we bounced around on a couple of spur roads to check out the Fresno Canyon overlook, which was pretty remarkable way to kill some time:

fresno.jpg



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Lou quietly reflecting on the hill on the adversity of the past 2 days and how his fortunes were looking up...

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Killing time. Something that they can never do when the dopamine crazed midget is in the group.

Fresno Canyon is one to mark down for future camping. This cool hut faces sunset.

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After checking out the canyon overlook, we decide to hit the road and start making our way to camp...

At this point, cell signals are long gone and we have no idea where the balance of our party is; last word we had received earlier in the day was that the guys in the national park were in Terlingua (about 60 miles out from the park entrance) and Fireman was making his way down from Alpine.

As we are making our way down the trail, I round a corner and am immediately struck by something familiar (but decidedly misplaced from its natural habitat) lying in the road before me.... I radio ahead to tell Lou that he needs to stop immediately and back-up........ but after I take a picture...

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Yep, Lou had not been able to outrun his curse over the course of his overnight odyssey to the Chihauhaun Desert....

Lou (visibly and justifiably frustrated) indulged me while I snapped some pics as he and Andy were banging away on the trailer brackets and repairing the visible damage to Lou's trailer that had occurred during the violent off-load of his entire trailer top set-up.

After a few minutes, I asked him: "Is it okay for us to laugh now?"

It was a bad deal, but to his credit, he embraced the humor of the situation and let us have our fun:



trail fix.jpg



Just as we were making the final tightening adjustments to Lou's trailer brackets and getting back in our car, we hear the cut of a radio transmission and a crackled voice saying ""traffic! traffic ahead!"

At this point, I see an electric blue blurr come screeching to a dusty halt about 3 feet from me....

It was hard to see through the dust cloud, but it was definitely not a civilian machine... It was multi-colored with a mis-matched camper top. It had clearly been assembled in a Mexican chop shop after some poor American had been robbed at gunpoint.

el chapo.jpg


My initial thought was, "Good Lord, the Mexican drug cartel has intercepted our private radio frequency and this is where we die at the hand's of El Chapo's hinchmen.."

As I am scratching out a dying note to my wife and kids in the dirt, out jumps fireman from the cab of the truck....

Soon, thereafter, I see the comforting and familiar sight of 4 EAF land cruisers coming down the trail right on his 6.

We all jumped out of the trucks and flawlessly execute the secret EAF handshakes among the larger group... There were even a few hugs, but none longer than established rule of the lesser time period of: (a) 2 fist bumps to the back; or (b) 1.5 seconds.

Our group had miraculously come together like Paulina Gretzy's perfectly proportioned butt cheeks on a trail in the middle of nowhere...

We cracked a beer and started the "booze cruise" to camp.
 
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Ha. I can see that cute little wooden picture-hanging hammer that PMC broke out sitting on Lou's tailgate.

Bless his heart. He never was a rock crawler and doesn't know a trail hammer is 3# minimum.

We will learn him.
 

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