I ended up throwing parts at it.
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Fingers crossed but I think this might have actually fixed it. I drove the roughest paved roads I could find today after installing the parts, no crazy shakey feedback, no clunking sound. Until I can get on a trail or rough gravel though, I won't know 100%, but it definitely feels different on the s***ty paved roads where I live. I can think of worse ways to spend $300ish dollars. The u joint that connects to the steering rack was particularly worn and felt sloppy.
I also replaced the two bolted steering rack bushing with OEM bc my last replacement was aftermarket and I wanted to see if they were different. I did notice some difference in the shape and profile of the bushing, hard to say if that makes any difference though in feel.
Edit: After a few months of driving, it's still as tight as a brand new vehicle. This finally fixed my "loose" hard to describe steering issue.