Must be story night for me as this is #2.
In college, I dated a girl in Indiana who lived on a farm an hour from college. I love farms, so I was delighted when she invited me down for their family reunion. You haven't lived until you've been to one of these in a farming family.
I get along with every living creature on God's green earth and have some amazing stories about full on guard dogs rolling over to let me pet their stomachs, wild Lynx letting me slowly walk right up to them, etc. But her parents had a s***zu that hated me. It also bit their family once in a while and was known as a problem. With no warning, it once darted out from under the coffee table and literally latched onto my calf.
So we're at the reunion when her mom realized she'd left the potato salad. I offered to go retrieve it, and forgot about the dog until it hit the screen door at waist height (silently) when I arrived at their house. I thought about luring it into the garage, then locking it in and going around back, but the thing was going nuts because I was the only one there. About now, I was realizing why asian kings used them for guard dogs. They're only about 10" high, but mean.
I wandered over to the barn looking for a heavy blanket, or fishing net when what did I spy hanging from a hook? Welding gloves! The full leather type that go up to the elbows.
Back at the door, the s***zu was going nuts to get at me, and I timed it when he was stepping back for another run at the screen. Grabbed him in mid air, nearly dropped him, then hooked him under the forelegs and held him up at my face level. Big mistake. This absolutely enraged him and he became a contortionist. He also began a very shrewd body thrashing - wiggling not just randomly but in a rythm that took advantage of every ounce he weighed. It was like holding a Northern Pike in the middle of it's body, and I realized the thing was just a brick of muscle. After about 90 seconds of this, I quit laughing at my little game and realized my arms were fatiguing. Holy Crap. So, I bent down and rested my elbows on my knees. 5 minutes (not a typo) and he had not shown a single iota of slowing down or getting tired. Snapping, violent wiggling and glaring at me with an eery silence showed me I had a miniature Cujo adventure going on.
Realizing the little punk was going to best me in endurance, I started looking for alternatives and took him out the front door. I intended to toss him gently out the door, but wasn't too sure that I would be fast enough - he was just getting warmed up! Then I spied the hedge. 30 feet from the door, about 15 feet in diameter and 4 feet tall, very dense. Perfect to toss pissed off s***zu end over end into to slow him down, which is exactly what I did. That little bastard used his momentum to plunge most of the way out the other side, rather than trying to stop and come back when he hit. Uncanny. He was making tracks back toward the front door and got there only seconds after I did. Completely silent. No wasted energy on this bundle of evil.
I felt like a coward, but I closed the garage door to completely isolate my car, put the potato salad in it, then hit the opener and ran for the car. When I backed out of the garage, he was completely at peace, just sitting in the shade. He never messed with me again, and I never messed with him either. I think we both agreed it was a draw....
DougM
Isn't it bad enough you had his balls cut off? 
) that wondered up to the house as a pup. The dog was very loving and very intelligent but constantly dug holes in the yard. One weekend, my roomate and I spent the better part of a weekend landscaping the yard and planted a couple trees. The next day we came home from class to find Jack(my roomate's dog) laying in the front yard in a 2' x 3' hole under the roots of one of the trees we had just planted....well, for my roomate that was the last straw. He ran over and tackled the dog(aprox 60lbs.) before he could get away. Picked him up, shoved him in the hole, and then put him in a head lock. The then began "feeding" Jack dirt from the hole he had just dug while taunting him with comments such as "oh..you like that...huh...you gonna dig anymore d@mn holes in this yard?" 
