Just saying, one does not simply find super hot chicks in the 80's section
But Delancy does have a habit of trying to turn mud members into women. Case in point Beno's contact photo on your phone and I think you tried to convince everyone I was a chick too.
So given the history the second scenario seems more likely.

Lol
To keep this somewhat technical. lol
285's are a great size on the 80. You have quite a few tire choices and a good all terrain makes for a decent highway driver that is capable. I would look at OME medium lift or an OME heavy if you plan on carry extra weight. My first setup was 285's on OME heavies and it was a good setup.
For a moderate all terrain I really liked the Bridgestone Dueler AT Revo 2's.
A little more aggressive but that have shown themselves to be quite capable Goodyear Wrangler Duratrac's
And if you want a pure mud terrain you can't go wrong with Wrangler M/Ts with Kevlar.
Good luck!