Livin’ the Dream … The Diaries of a Madman

[KOWBOY]

END OF CHAPTER 2

 

[KOWBOY]

CHAPTER 3

Thursday, 30 January 2014

Woke up this mornin’ to the sounds of the coyotes yappin’ and howlin’. They were close. Reckon they don’t like where I’m parked.

The last Wednesdays of my two-week hitch is turnin’ out to be some damned long days. 0630 yesterday mornin’, I was sweepin’ snow off the comp’ny truck’s windshield in a hotel parkin’ lot in Baltimore, MD. 12 degrees. Only got above the freezin’ mark one time durin’ my whole hitch … and that weren’t by much. Lots of nights in single digits and days in the teens. I ain’t real big on cold weather. Makes my face hurt. The titanium plates left over from the scooter crash expand and contract at a slightly dif’rent rate then my bones do. Small price to pay I reckon.

Come ‘bout noonday I was havin a hard time stayin’ focused on my work. I’m livin’ for these weeks off. Lots of folks bust their ass at work all year and don’t even get no vacation. Some luckier ones get a week … or two … or maybe even a few. I get ev’ry third week off … and a free plane ticket to get to my home. That’s 17 dif’rent weeks. Plus a week of actual vacation. And after over 26 years with this here outfit, I’m final’y takin’ advantage of the deal. But ‘bout noonday I was done. Time to ease on down to the bar for a 6-pack and a bacon cheeseburger. Then off to the airport and thru the mind-numbin’ process of gettin’ thru security. Some of them TSA folks are plain ignorant. Hop a jet plane to Houston. Then hop another jet plane to Vegas. Two, 3-and-a-half hour flights crammed into a flyin’ cattle car will sure wear a good man down. Land at 0200 this mornin’ by my watch still set on Baltimore time. Land at Terminal 1. Ain’t no Terminal 2. Kinda strange. Even stranger is they tell us we gotta take a subway deal over to Terminal 3 to fetch our luggage. Helluva way to run an airlines. Normal’ly I avoid checkin’ luggage. Just to avoid stupid s*** like this. But I had me a pelican case full of goodies. Big-ass KC lights, voltmeter, glow plug relay, new shotgun scabbard, two super-heavy-duty-most-awesome-thorn-proof inner tubes for my bicycle, a spout for my water cans, whole big box of bat’ries for my cheesy camera, new skillet for the stove, and two new towels. Anyways … once I fetch my case I gotta take a bus back to Terminal 1 so I can get on another bus to take me out to my home. Unreal. I was draggin’ ass. Seriously thinkin’ on just sleepin’ where the truck sits in the parkin’ lot.

But I got to ‘er. And was wide awake again. Hard to explain. Quick walk around to check ‘er all out and turn the key. When them valves started clatterin’ and echoin’ ‘cross that parkin’ lot … I swear I swelled up. Ain’t too big around … but sure is short. Then reached in the backseat and grabbed my new hat. Slid ‘er on and pulled it gently into the exact right spot. And just like friggin’ Frosty the Snowman … I came to life. Where the hell’s the desert?!?

Made a quick stop off at the Quick Stop for the essential, short-term fluid needs … diesel, beer, and milk. Then back on the road to head thru the main gate of the Lake Mead National Recreation Area. Weren’t nobody mannin’ the entrance station so couldn’t show off my new annual pass. Bummer. Maybe the wee hours of the mornin’ are a free time. First road I came to had a sign sayin’ no campin’ and no alcohol. Didn’t see much use in proceedin’ in that direction at all. Turned down the next road and it was paved and the sign said it went to a boat ramp and the boat ramp was closed. Not much in’trest there neither. Strike two. Third road was dirt and washboardy. Came to a wide spot and I pulled over and ran the camper top on up. Damned hard to find a campsite when you can barely see what’s in front of ya. Or behind ya. Done discovered my super-pimpin’ back-up lights in the back bumper suck as well. Bumper face is on an angle pointed down … so the lights do too. Had to get out a few times to shine a friggin’ flashlight forwards and backwards. What I shoulda had done is duct taped a dozen tactical flashlights to the camper roof pointed in a big circle. My future’s still bright but it sure as hell ain’t due to the collection of sorry-ass lights I got on this rig. But I made it ... I’m in the desert. 21 hours after sweepin’ snow in Baltimore.

Done had me a Jethro Bodean-sized bowl of Frosted Flakes, the sun’s comin’ up, and I’m ‘bout done with my cup of coffee. Gonna double back into town real quick and grub up at the big-ass grocery store I seen.

(Editor’s Note: Passage of time. Now after dark on same day.)

Wind is screamin’ and I’m here to tell ya this camper’s a ROCKIN” right now. Shoulda went ahead and invited the butcher lady for a sleepover I reckon.

It was funny as hell when I went outside the camper this mornin’ and seen Lake Mead. Had no idea I was that close to water. Thank Gawd I stopped when I did or mite of just driven right into the darn thang. Windy and dark storm clouds all about. But warm. 55 degrees. Nice.

 

[KOWBOY]

The main road out is on the right, Weren’t much to it but was rutted out and pot-holed from inferior rigs … or inferior drivers … or both. So these idiots had made a bypass to the left. I took the right way. It’s the Kowboy Way.

 

[KOWBOY]

Got back on the main road and headed towards town but decided to turn down road #2 from the wee hours this mornin’ for a daylight look-see. Government Wash Road. Boat Ramp closed. And I think I figured out why.

 

[KOWBOY]

Road then turns into Government Point Road … 4 x 4 recommended. I tried to get the 40’ diesel pushers in the background of my picture of the sign but they’re hard to make out.

 

[KOWBOY]

No need for 4wd here. But a cool place for the mega-RV crowd to get outta the campgrounds and homestead for free with a great view of the lake. Just not for me. Although it’s gonna be a perfect place to head to on my next late night arrival. Well-marked road and very easy, quick access. Did find one road off the very end that was steep and went out to a point of land. Drove on out there but weren’t nuthin’ close to bein’ even half-ass sorta level. So still not for me.

 

[KOWBOY]

Slipped my one-wheel drive tire goin’ out tho and forward progress came to a halt. Hit the rear locker and proceeded to slip two tires. Got out and locked in the hubs, hit the front locker, threw the doubler shifter in and crawled right up it. Went to disengage all my s*** when I cleared the top and realized I never threw the front axle lever. I’m an idiot. But evidently the doubler and the rear axle alone was enuf for me to proceed to the top. Good stuff.

‘Bout 15 miles back to the very edge of Henderson put me in a sweet new Albertsons grocery store. Big and new. Commenced to buyin’ grub. I reckon I’m fairly particular ‘bout what I buy. And extremely particular ‘bout my bacon. Don’t buy packaged bacon. I get my thick-sliced, applewood-smoked bacon right from the butcher. And she had the most amazin’ green eyes I’d ever seen. Bar none. And she liked my hat. Now I’m fairly certain she could shed 30 lbs or so … and still be on the dark side of 250 … but them eyes were mesmerizin’. Thinkin’ they must of been some of them fancy contact lenses. I read in a Cosmo magazine one time how them thangs can change your eyes. She weighed me out a pound of the bacon and I told ‘er to cut it all in half for me. That way it’ll fit better in my new skillet. I had three friggin’ knives on me at the time … and gotta couple more kitchen’-type knives at home. But I just wanted to look into them eyes some more. When she was done and asked if I needed anything else, the first thang that popped into my noggin’ was to tell ‘er “Yes ma’am … I need you to ease on into my camper and ride me like a 5-ticket special at the county fair.” But I bit my tongue, thanked her, and just eased on. It’s best that way.

Then back on the road to head thru the main gate of the Lake Mead National Recreation Area. And By Gawd … there was a real, live fella there mannin’ the entrance station so I could final’y show off my new annual pass. That made me happy.

Next stop was the Lake Las Vegas Wetlands Trailhead. Time for a hike. It was windy. Not breezy. Not a brisk wind. Not even gail force winds. I’m talkin’ “We ain’t in Kansas no more”-type winds. But I never lost my hat. Man’s gotta maintain control of his personal headgear. Nice hike down to the river that flows from Lake Las Vegas into Lake Mead. Beautiful, stark contrast ‘tween a rollin’ river and the desert it splits. But no sunshine so pics are rather bland.

 

[KOWBOY]

Hike was pretty and definit’ly good exercise. Funny tho that the water smelled like dirty dishwater. Then found this sign. The word “not” has been scraped off by vandals.

 

[KOWBOY]

Then eased on down Gypsum Point Road where they don’t allow no alcohol or campin’. No biggie … ain’t much there no how.

 

[KOWBOY]

At the end is just a gravel turn-around. You can see where the road used to go right on down to the river but it’s all closed off now. And the storm clouds that were around all day.

 

[KOWBOY]

Here I just turned 180 degrees and took this picture lookin’ back upstream. This is downstream of where I hiked to. As the dishwater continues to flow towards the lake …

 

[KOWBOY]

So then back down the same road I camped on last night. 8.0 Mile Road. Conveniently located at mile marker 8. That makes it easy for us non-techno geeks to find it. It turned out to be like a spider web of roads. Gradu’ly getting’ smaller and more fun. Had to lock ‘er up a few times as I explored various potential campsites. Got the ol’ girl twisted up pretty good and the front driver tire got into the inner fender some. Gonna have to look into that. Just kept goin’. And got to the end of one of the many tangent roads that put me on another wonderful peninsula surrounded on three sides by the lake. What a sweet place. And some pretty decent 4-wheelin’ to get here to boot. Shut ‘er down.

 

[KOWBOY]

Done had my lil’ step ladder blow away once on me up on a mesa and didn’t wanna have ‘er go to off into the lake. So I chunked some rocks on ‘er to hold ‘er steady in the howlin’ winds. Read one time in Science magazine that when critters show they learn from their mistakes, it’s a sign of higher intelligence.

 

[KOWBOY]

Sat in my chair drinkin’ beer and admirin’ the weather. Like ev’rythang else in the desert, the weather changes are harsh. So much sand in the air from the heavy winds that visibility was poor ‘cross the lake. Small, wind-driven waves breakin’ on my shoreline sounded like the ocean. As the winds started to peter out, the sand started to settle from the skies. Thangs became clearer. Plain to see the passin’ weather front with the distinct end of the day-long cloud cover approachin’. The sun cleared the clouds and bathed my camp with light. And then the winds swung 180 degrees fast and picked up again hard. The wave energy cannot shift as fast as the wind energy. So the wind-generated waves from the new direction soon bucked the existin’ waves as they reflected on each other and briefly created a small, confused sea state. As the wave energy eventually shifted to match the wind energy, the pattern of the wave refraction also shifted 180 degrees on my lil’ private point of land. Wave dynamics are fascinatin’.

If a man purposely puts himself in a position to appreciate these small thangs … life becomes satisfyin’. Very satisfyin’.

 

[KOWBOY]

Out the Window.

 

[KOWBOY]

I reckon I ramble on too much when I been drinkin’. But it was a fantabulous start to the week off. Tomorrow I work on the truck.

 

[KOWBOY]

Friday, 31 January

Storm clouds done robbed me of my sunrise this mornin’. Sorta makes me feel cheated.

I had no idea what the hell a crepe is. So I had to google it. Evidently, it’s a real thin pancake-type deal made from wheat flour. It’s a French thang. Whatever. But my new 10” Cuisinart crepe pan kicks ass. It’s round and fits my stove much better than the 11” square griddle I had. Plus this crepe pan deal has ‘bout a three-quarter inch lip on it so it holds the grease in when you’re fryin’ up that bacon on an unlevel stove. Then cooked my eggs and then my pancakes. Mighty fine. I miss my big ol’ breakfasts when I’m workin’.

 

[KOWBOY]

After breakfast, I just sat and looked out the window and watched it rainin’ on the mountains across the lake and had my cup of coffee or two. No need to rush into thangs. What don’t get done today will get done another day. A simple, relaxin’ pace is a key ingredient to Livin’ the Dream.

Thinkin’ first priority is the glow plug relay. This passin’ cold front is supposed to drop the temps below freezin’ at night and I don’t wanna get stranded again. So here we go. I’ve done studied up on some info sheets and even an excellent youtube video on how to get this job done. I was pretty happy just to recognize the darned thang when I opened the hood. Got out my brand new Klein Tools voltmeter and read the instructions on how to put the bat’ry in the thang. Then tested the stock relay. Supposed to have less than .4 volts drop ‘cross the two big posts. I had none. I ain’t sayin’ I had no voltage drop … I’m sayin’ I had no voltage at all on the back side. Gee … no relay action … so no glow plugs … so no starty when cold. Simple enuf. Out with the old. What a pain in the ass to get to. I’m thinkin’ the fella in the video didn’t have no 6” lift kit and 37’s. Basic’ly had to climb up in the engine bay. I’m pretty big to be doin’ that s*** … and pretty old. But I got ‘er out. It’s the relay in the back just below my fuel pressure gauge.

 

[KOWBOY]

Check out the stock one sittin’ next to the super-duper one that the smart Folks say I need. Maybe size does matter.

 

[KOWBOY]

Puttin’ the new one in was even worser than takin’ out the stock one. Did sorta fit on the same two fac’try studs tho and I got ‘er in there. Turned the key on and the voltmeter showed the same voltage on both terminals. I’m thinkin’ that’s a good thang. Engine fired right off. But certainly helped it was 55 degrees. Least I didn’t screw somethin’ up so that it wouldn’t even fire off tho. It can be right dangerous when I got tools in my hands.